Bloody, Broken and Bruised
by FallenDarkAngel2
Summary: Jade has a secret she wants no one to know. I changed the summary Sorry I suck at summaries! Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious or the characters! But I do this story (: **

**AN- I thought about it and I don't want there to be a tie between J&B and B&T…so I wanted to break the tie! And give me credit people because I wrote this in one day and I haven't written in so long! (Or updated at all…) So hope you like it! Sorry I didn't post the second chapter, still working on it! Read and Review! **

She laid there bloody, broken and bruised, outside at night in the woods. Even though it was summer, Jade was as cold as ice. Her insides had just been torn apart. A haunting night will follow her forever, how could this happen to her? She was Jade West, strong and mean, but this night she was weak. She let it happen to her, she let her guard down.

She sat up and looked for her clothes. Tears ran down her cheeks as she began to dress herself. **It **hurt...more then she can take. Blood ran down her legs as she stood up and leaned against the tree for balance. Everything went round and round yet she stood still. She stopped bleeding but the pain would not go away. Bloody, broken and bruised she began to limp home. She couldn't go back to the house; she could still here the music. Everyone would look at her with disgust, she thought. So she began her long journey to her house that was 20 miles away from where she was. She cried non stop until she got home. It was dawn and she stood in the middle of her driveway. She expected to see police cars in her driveway but it was quiet. She had thought her parents would be worried sick. She hadn't seen them all day yesterday. She looked at the driveway. No cars. 'Maybe they went looking out for me instead' Jade thought. She opened her door with a spare key she hid in the bushes. She entered the house with tears back in her eyes.

"M-mom? D-dad?" She cried but no one answered.

She went up, limping, to her parent's bedroom. She knocked but no one opened. She tried to open the door but it was locked.

"Mom, dad, please! Open the door!" Jade said in her shaking voice but no one opened it for her. She knocked harder and cried.

"Open the damn door! Please…" She cried but still it would not open. She grew tired and retreated to her bedroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. She was disgusted by her own reflection. She was covered in dirt and bloody from her jeans. She went straight to her bathroom (her bedroom had its own private bathroom) and turned on the shower. Jade hoped she would be able to wash all that happened away but she knew she couldn't. As she undressed she kept thinking about how it was all her fault. She got in and let the warm water hit her body. She cried.

"It's my entire fault" she kept saying. But it wasn't. It wasn't her fault. She didn't ask for it. It was **his** entirefault. Not hers.

-Flash Back-

_James Carter, captain of the football and hockey team. And he was a senior, a senior who had taken a sudden interest in Jade Wets. Of course she's taken by Beck Oliver but that didn't stop him from flirting with her every time he saw her. In fact, he was the reason Beck and Jade were fighting. Beck did not like the way James hugged Jade and the way he flirted with her. Jade was surprised to see Beck jealous. He had never done so before but Beck said it seemed more then a friendship that James wanted. And Beck was right but James was a senior a very hot senior. And all girls, including Jade, couldn't resist him. So until Jade realized it, Beck was angry._

_So there she sat, at lunch without a boyfriend. _

"_Hey" James said smoothly sitting beside her. Jade's face brightened up as she smiled to him. _

"_Hi." She replied. _

"_I see Beck isn't here. You know he's a lucky guy. Dating such a beautiful girl like you." He said smirking. Jade blushed at his comment. _

"_So anyways I hear you two our in a fight?" He asked. Jade's smile faded. _

"_Um, yeah but I don't want to talk about it…better yet I don't want to think about it." She answered._

"_Alright…say why not come to a party. It'll take your mind off things. _

"_I don't know." She said worried, 'Would it be wrong to go to a party with another guy?'_

"_If it's Beck you're worried about, don't worry. We can go just as friends." He reassured her. Jade looked at him._

"_Um, ok. I'll go."_

"_Great! I'll pick you up at 8 o'clock." He said as he got up. Jade nodded and watched as he walked away. Then she thought of Beck again. It wouldn't be cheating, right? She wasn't going to do anything but dance with James…so its fine. The rest of the school day Jade found was really quick. She was excited; most people don't invite her to parties because they're scared of her. The only times she goes to parties is when they invite Beck. And as Beck's girlfriend, she has to go. _

_It was now 8 o'clock p.m and Jade was in the same car as James, going to the party. The party was at a lake house, surrounded by trees. Jade hadn't been happier then she was now. People were actually talking to her, they weren't afraid to come close to her. Jade is mean and rude so people tend to stay away. But not tonight, tonight was different. She danced with James and had a couple of drinks. She took a glance at the clock and it was 15 mins till midnight. She gasped, and James looked at her. _

"_Hey, you want to go down to the lake?" James whispered in her ear. She looked at him._

"_Where is it? I don't see it?"_

"_Down the hill, bout a mile away. Let's go! It'll be fun." He persuaded her to go. And after a bit of debating, Jade gave in. They walked quietly through the woods. She followed James who led her deep into the woods. _

"_Not scared are you? Most girls are scared of the woods at night." He said glancing back at Jade but she shook her head. She was the type of girl who liked the night, she like hanging out at graveyards in the middle of the night. And a walk through the woods was nothing. He stopped walking and Jade looked around. Where's the lake she asked herself. _

_James turned to her and kissed her. Jade loved his soft lips but she had a boyfriend who she loves. She pulled away. _

"_James! I have a boyfriend! You know that!" _

"_Don't worry he won't find out." He said seductively. Jade looked at him confused._

"_Uh, I'm going back to the party. It was a mistake coming." She told him as she turned away. James suddenly had an epiphany. His plans were to sleep with her and that was not going to change. He grabbed her by the arm, stopping her. _

"_Hey! What's your deal? We both know the real reason we came down here! And that is exactly what we're going to do!" He shouted at her. Her eyes looked at him with disgust. She pulled back her arm._

"_I came here for a walk. And I had it so I'm going back!" She said angry. He smirked and gave a little laugh. She grew afraid for some reason. _

"_No one leaves me with my needs. NO ONE!" He yelled at her. She jumped and swallowed hard. She knew what he was going to attempt. They stood there for a moment before Jade began to run as fast as she could. He chased after her. But she couldn't out run him. He was the star player of the football team and hockey team. This meant he was faster then her. He grabbed her by her stomach and lifted her up. Jade kicked him but he took her to the woods. She screamed and suddenly she was drooped on the floor. She looked up in fear. There he was unzipping his pants. She tried to crawl away but he didn't let her. She cried and struggled to get away but he wouldn't let her. She begged, pleaded but nothing seemed to work. He ripped her up from her inside. She gasped of pain but he only enjoyed it. She screamed and screamed but no on would hear them. They were a mile away from the loud party. He got tired of her scream and punched her in the face. _

"_Shut it, babe." He said to her as he got his way with her. She was pinned down. Jade was strong but not strong enough. He hit her once more, knocking her unconscious. When she woke up she looked around. She laid there bloody, broken and bruised. _

-End of flash Back-

She got out of the shower and wrapped herself around a towel. She looked at her reflection again. The dirt and mud were gone…but her bruises and black eye was still there. She cried while changing into a long sleeved turtle neck and

black pants. She turned once again to the mirror. The mirror mocked her. It was perfect with no cracks yet she was broken. The mirror was perfectly clean, not dirty fingerprints. It was driving her insane. She grabbed her lamp and threw it to the mirror. It shattered into a million pieces on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious!

AN- Sorry I haven't uploaded. I went camping so I was busy…I hate nature…

Anyway here is the second chapter and again sorry if it sucks I just got back to writing after about a year so I'm still struggling. Review please!

It was Tuesday morning but there was no school due to Memorial Day. And Jade had not slept all night. She was wide awake as she sat on her bed. After what happened last night, she couldn't find herself to forget about it. The images kept playing over and over in her head. She wanted to cry but her tears would not fall anymore. She needed help but whom? When she cried for her parents, they wouldn't answer her. They shunned her away. And her friends…she had no friends. Cat, Robbie and Andre annoyed her and she couldn't trust them. But then there was Tori. God no! She hated Tori more then anything. And Beck…she couldn't think about him. Beck was right, James wanted more then Jade could give him. It would mock her forever. If only she had listened to Beck, things would have been avoided.

She sighed and looked at her clock. 10a.m. it read. She waited for her parents to get out of bed but they never once moved. Well not that she could hear. Jade's dad was a psychologist, he could help her. He was never around, always working with others and she barley saw him, but she still trusted him. She wanted her father to be here but he wasn't. Her mother was a doctor, she could help her figure out if Jade was pregnant. James had not used a condom and it made her panic. But like she said, no one answered her. When she needed them the most, they avoided her.

She let out a small scream. She wanted it to be over. She gave in; she had to try to tell her parents once more. She took a deep breath and stood outside their door. She knocked…and knocked but they still did not open. She kicked the door and banged on it but still nothing. She was about to scream but the phone rang. She walked downstairs, and went to the phone.

"One New Voicemail, from Gregory West." The machine spoke. It was her father! She pressed the listen button.

"_Jade, um, I don't know how to tell you this but your mother is in Europe. You mother's mother became very ill Monday morning. So she left in a hurry without warning. I was supposed to stay home with you until she got back but I-I had a business trip so I went out of town. I won't be home until next week. Please take good care of the house. Oh, I have to go now, I love you! Bye"_ That was it. That was the end of the voicemail. She couldn't understand. He's a psychologist; he has no need to go out of the country. And she could have sworn she heard a woman's laughter in the background. Was he cheating on mom? Or maybe she was being paranoid. Maybe he really is on a business trip. Well whatever the reason was, she now knows why they didn't open the door. They weren't even there.

She felt a tear run down her cheek and she fell to her knees. It wasn't fair! Why can't she just forget about it? Why did she have to be so naïve?

"_We both know the real reason we came down here!" _ Those words haunted her. But she knew what James said was true. Truth be told, deep inside of her she knew. She knew the real reason she went with him but she didn't want to admit it. But when he kissed her, she realized it was wrong. She had a boyfriend and she wasn't ready for "doing it" with Beck so why should she be ready with a stranger? Point is, she couldn't do it. She pulled away…but that may have been the worst move she could have made. It made him mad.

She cried harder as she went up to her room. She looked at her mirror. It was now just like her. Cracked and broken, shattered pieces on the floor. She looked at her reflection but her reflection was not perfect due to the cracks. But she was able to see her eye. It was bruised, and it hurt. She needed to cool it down with something. She went to the kitchen and got herself an ice bag. It would help but only a bit. What excuse would she have to tell people about her bruises and black eye? She wanted to tell her parents only but seeing as they were no where she decided to keep quiet until they returned. She went back up her room and opened her closet door. It was a walk in closet. Instead of putting her clothes in there she made herself another small room. Where she could lay alone without anyone to bother her. Her room would distract her from relaxing. So in days when she wanted to relax she locked herself in there. It was perfect. Small, dark and no distraction. She breathed hard and went inside it. She locked the door and sat down. She was exhausted but she refused to sleep. If she slept there was a chance she would dream about her rape. So she sat there all day. She didn't eat, or use the bathroom. She did nothing, just sat and stared all day at the door. After a while she didn't know what to do, she was hungry as hell but she refused to eat. She was thirsty but refused to drink. She was sleepy but refused to sleep. If her ice hadn't melted she would have never gone out of her closet. She walked downstairs and saw the kitchen clock. It was 4a,m in the morning. She wanted to eat but she forced herself to walk away.

She went back to her room and looked around. The sun was beginning to rise. Soon it'd be time for her to go to school. And face her rapist…and face Beck. She felt tears coming down again but she took a deep breath. She wasn't going to cry anymore. She was done crying. She had to be strong. For herself. She sat in her bed and waited two hours until it was 6am. She looked at the mirror. Her eye was no better. She had to hide it. She put on her black jeans and brushed her hair. Than she grabbed her shades and put them on. It would be able to hide her eye. She wouldn't change shirts, just to not show her bruises on her arm and the hickies on her neck. It was summer and she'd look crazy wearing that but it was what she needed to do. She looked to her clock. 6:15 am. She sighed and put on her shoes. She grabbed her car keys and went to school. As she went throughout the halls, whispers and stares was what she got. For the first time in her life, Jade wanted to know what they were talking about. She wanted to know if everyone knew about what happened. But in her history class a girl dared to tell Jade why everyone was talking about her. It had nothing to do with James but of what she was wearing. Jade only shoved the girl and threatened to destroy her if she ever talked to her again. Class after class she avoided Beck. When he tried talking to her, she made an excuse to leave.

Now it was lunch time. And she sat with her usual "friends".

"How can you wear that?" Andre said to Jade as she stabbed her food. She looked up.

"I know! It's so hot! Aren't you hot, Jade?" Cat agreed with Andre.

"No," Was all she said before she stared back at her food.

"And what's with the shades? You haven't taken them off." Robbie said.

"I like them. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No! Not at all! I-I like them!" Robbie stuttered. She rolled her eyes, not that anyone could tell. Then suddenly she saw, out of the corner of her eye, James Carter. She turned to him. He was laughing with his friends acting usual. But he looked over at Jade and there eyes met. He smirked at her and Jade began to breathe heavily. She turned away only to see Beck next to her.

"We have to talk." He said.

"I-I can't. I have to-"

"No we have to talk, Jade. Now, please." He begged her. She nodded and followed him as he led her to an empty table.

"Look, I'm sorry I was being jealous." He said, "It's just that it was the first time I've seen you with another guy. And…and I'm really sorry. I love you Jade." His words made her tear up and as much as she tried not to cry, she couldn't. Tears began to fall from her eyes.

"Babe, no I didn't mean for you to cry!" He said as he whipped her tears away. She shock her head.

"It's not you." She whispered softly hoping he wouldn't hear her but he heard.

"What's wrong?" He asked but she shook her head. He wanted to look at her in the eye so he removed her shades and saw her eye.

"What happened? Who did this to you?" He asked.

"I-I…nothing. It was an accident." She told him. She couldn't tell him what had happened. She thought he would rub it in her face and go "I told you so". So of fear she kept silent

"How is a black eye an accident? Please tell me babe." He said, Jade looked down.

"Ok fine. I…I got in to a fight with my cousin. That's all no big deal." Jade said.

"Oh, two black eyes in one year." He smirked and Jade half smiled.

"Oh and one more thing, what's with the long sleeve, turtle neck shirt?"

"Why? What's wrong with it?"  
"No, nothing is wrong. You look beautiful in it but aren't you hot?"

"No. I like it and I want to wear it." Jade said. He smiled at her and leaned to kiss her. When his lips met her's she tensed up. When he wrapped his arms around her waist, she jumped. He pulled away.

"You alright?" he asked concerned. She smile and nodded. But she wasn't alright. She was terrified of letting anyone touch her. But she had to, or else Beck would get suspicious. She leaned forward and kissed him. She loved the taste of his mouth but she couldn't forget the taste of James horrible mouth. She kept having flashbacks to the way he kissed her that night. All she wanted was to scream and push Beck away but she couldn't. She couldn't unless she wanted Beck to hate her. She felt dirty. No matter how many times she showers, she will always be dirty.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom. Be right back." She told him as she stood up. He nodded and smiled at her before retreating back to their friends. Walking through the crowds Jade began to think. Jade had just got back together with Beck, she should be happy right? But she wasn't, she was scared of having her secret released to him. She thought beck would hate her. He would, right?

She snapped out of her thoughts when she felt a cold liquid on her shirt. She looked up and it was James smirking at her.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there, shorty." He said to her. Laughter filled the lunch tables. Jade glared at him but she was scared of him too. She pushed past him and ran to the bathroom. She shoved everyone out of her way. And when in the bathroom she made sure no one was there before locking the door. She burst into tears. He mocked her, in front of everyone. She felt pathetic. He had taken an interest in her, raped her and now mocked her. She cried and leaned against the sink. What is happening to her? Jade West is not one to cry. But she couldn't help it. She removed her shirt, exposing her bruises and hickies on her body. She tried removing the stains that James had "accidentally" spilled on her. She didn't go out of the bathroom until the end of lunch bell rang. She sighed and put on her somewhat dry shirt. She walked through the halls.

"There you are!" A voice spoke behind her. She tensed up but turned around. She felt a bit relived that it was only Beck.

"Cat said you left lunch. I went looking for you every where. You ok?" he asked concerned. She nodded and again faked a smile. He didn't look to convinced but he walked her to her class before leaving to his own.

In class the teacher had asked were she was.

"Sorry." was all she said as she took her seat. Not 5mins had passed when Tori entered the classroom, late.

"Sorry, I had a bit of distraction." She said glancing at Jade. The teacher sighed as Tori sat away from Jade. But jade kept noticing that Tori gave her strange looks throughout the class. As soon as the bell rang, Jade didn't have time to gather her stuff before Tori stood next to her. She looked at Jade.

"May I help you?" Jade said annoyed by the way Tori looked down at her.

"Um,no. I just wanted to know if you're ok." Tori said concerned.

"I'm fine." Jade replied raising an eyebrow at her.

"You sure because I saw you i-" Tori was cut off.

"Look I'm fine! What happened at lunch is nothing."

"I didn't see you at lunch...I saw you in the bathroom." She told her. Jade starred at her while picking up her stuff and standing up.

"W-what?"

"I saw the bruises on body and your eye."

"I-I was in a fight. Like I keep saying its none of your business!" Jade shouted before walking away.

"And the hickies?" Tori asked, Jade stopped walking and slowly turned to Tori.

"Did you get those in a fight too?" Tori asked.

"S-shut up! I got them from Beck."

"Really? When because Beck was at Andre's all weekend and Tuesday. You got back together with him today."

"There you go, I got it today."

"No you didn't. Those hickies look days old." Tori kept cornering Jade with all her answers.

"You don't know anything! Why can't you stay out of my life" Jade shouted. Tori looked at her with such concern.

"Bruises, black eye and a hickey. That doesn't sound like a fight, Jade…It sounds more like rape."

Jade's eyes grew watery. Tori stepped forward.

"I see the way you look a James. With such fear and hatred. I saw you pull away when Beck hugged you. And the bruises, eye and hickies..." Tori said softly. Jade swallowed hard.

"he raped you didn't her?" She asked. Jade felt a tear escape from her eye. She underestimated Tori. Tori wasn't as stupid as she thought but yet Jade shook her head.

"No! Stay out of my business!" jade yelled before running away. Tori sighed. All she wanted was to tell Jade it was ok. But to do that, Jade needs to tell her the truth. Although Tori already knows it's true. Jade was raped and Tori knew it. Jade could not deny it anymore. Someone knew other then James and Jade.

AN- Sorry it took me a while to finish. And some parts seem like there not important but they will be later on Hit that button that says REVIE AND REVIEW please (:


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious!

AN- Ok so here's the third chapter I'm trying to write as much of the story as possible because I'm getting so many things to do this summer. Like many trips to the beach with different people every weekend . Anyways sorry if it sucks Read and Review please!

_She had no right. No right at all to come ask me all those questions!_ Jade thought as she ran away from Tori. It was stupid of her to run away but if she stayed any longer, Tori would have to see her cry. And Jade is not one to cry in front of people especially people she hates. But one question remained. How could Tori have just jumped to that conclusion? There are definitely many different possibilities. Yet Tori could only think of that. And there's no way Jade could get out of this mess with her. By running away she was basically admitting to Tori she was raped. Jade couldn't be in school right now so she left. Without telling anyone, she jumped into her car and drove off.

Tori stood in the empty classroom for a moment. So it wasn't a rumor she heard. It was the truth. Tori looked down to the floor remembering what happened earlier that same day.

_Tori had sat at the lunch table at the exact time Beck pulled Jade away._

"_Are they back together?" Tori asked Cat. Cat smiled and shrugged her shoulders._

"_Not sure. But don't you think is odd that Jade isn't hot at all? I mean not that she doesn't look nice but it's too hot to be wearing that." _

"_True." Tori said looking over at where Beck and Jade sat. She looked at the way Jade pulled away while Beck kissed her. It's none of Tori's business but she couldn't help it. She was curious about that sudden movement. Tori shook her thoughts away._

"_I'm going to the bathroom." She said as she got up. It was strange of Jade to be wearing that but then again, Jade is far from normal. Tori was close to the doors when she heard laughter. She turned around to see every one was laughing at Jade. She noticed Jade eyes widen with fear as she looked up. Tori followed her gaze, it was James Carter. Tori liked him; he was hot but a senior. But it was strange to see Jade with fear of him. Jade and James had been close friends last week so why the tension between them? _

_Tori looked back at the door and continued her way to the bathroom. She entered the stall farthest from the door. She flushed the toilet when she heard a voice crying and locking the door. Tori wanted to go out but she didn't. Instead she kept silent and peeked outside her door. She was surprised that it was Jade. Tori was about to go out when Jade took off her shirt. Her eyes widen in surprise. _

_Jade's back, arms, chest was covered with Bruises. Jade removed her shades to wipe away her tears. That's when Tori saw her eye. She traced Jade's body with her eyes and it caught her attention to the hickies on her neck. Tori stared closely. The hickies look like the bled…What happened to her? Did Beck give her the hickies too deep or something? Tori waited until Jade left before exiting the stall. _

_She sighed and decided to go to class as well. Right as she reached the corner, she paused. She heard voices and listened._

"_It was almost too easy man." She heard a voice say, but she knew who it was. It belonged to James._

"_Did she scream?" Another voice said. Tori also knew who it was. It was James best friend, Adam._

"_Like hell, but I hit her to shut her up. She kept begging me to stop."  
"Ha! Did you?" Adams laughed a bit. _

"_No! I completely ripped her apart. I almost felt bad for her. But hey, slut deserved it. Jade West is so easy to rape. You should try it some time. I'm sure she'll enjoy it." James laughed. Adam's shook his head. _

"_Nah, I don't like raping people but I find it funny how they ask for it." _

"_Yeah, oh come on. We're going to be late." James said. Tori watched as they walked away. Her eyes were filled of tears. How could they laugh about it? It's no wonder Jade's like that. It all makes sense. The bruises, black eye and the hickies. And the way she looked at James with fear and pulled away from Beck. It all made sense. _

Tori reacted from her thought and rushed herself to her class. It was her last class of the day and again she had that class with Jade. When she entered everyone was there but Jade.

"Hey, Tori." Beck said smiling at her. Tori smiled at him and walked towards him.

"Hi Beck." She said.

"Have you seen Jade? I texted and called her but she won't answer. And no one has seen her." He asked concerned. Tori swallowed hard.

"Oh, no sorry. I haven't seen her." Tori lied. She looked away from him. She couldn't lie to his face. After all she did like him but she knew his heart belong to Jade. He looked at her, Tori could act but she couldn't lie to save her life.

"Oh, really? I've heard you were last seen with her." He said, of course he hadn't heard anything like that but he figured it would make Tori talk.

"Well, I-we did talk but she left." Tori admitted. He sighed.

"Look I just want to know if she's alright."

"I'm really sorry Beck but I honestly don't know where she is." She said sincerely. He half smiled and nodded leaving to his seat. Tori sighed and sat down at her seat. 'Where is Jade? I didn't mean to cause her more trouble. I just wanted to help her but I think I may have made things worse for her. I'll just go to her house after school…hopefully she'll be alive After getting raped, suicide is very common which worries me considering the fact that Jade is not here!' Tori checked the clock every 5mins to see how long till class ends. She looked at the door to see if Jade entered but she didn't.

"Alright, class. Last 10mins are your. Use it well!" The teacher announced. Tori could be more excited but instead she gathered her things and stood by the door, looking anxious.

"So you really don't know where my girlfriend is?" Beck asked behind Tori making her jump slightly.

"Beck! I'm positive I don't know where she is!" Tori protested turning to him. Beck looked at her hard.

"Please, Tori! If you know anything tell me!" He begged her. Anything? Tori thought. I do know something he would probably want to know. But I can't tell him. Not yet at least.

"All I can tell you is that I'm going over to her house right when the bell rings." Tori said turning to the door again.

"Why? I mean, you and Jade aren't friends…well at least she told me you two weren't."

"We're not friends. I just have to drop off something. That's all. I promise." Tori said over her shoulder. She could tell Beck was upset. I mean who wouldn't be if their girlfriend would barley talk to them. She looked down. When the bell rang she slammed the door open when she raced out the door. She ran passed Andre who had wanted to talk to her.

"Oh hey Tor-"Was all he got to say before she ran passed him. He stood confused as he looked to the direction she came running from. He saw Beck and gave him a strange look.

"Don't ask." He said as he walked to his locker. Andre shook that moment away before leaving.

Tori ran non stop to Jade's house. She paused trying to catch her breath. 'I don't know why I care so much…but I just do. Even if Jade hates me, I want to be there for her. It's weird, I know but I don't want someone like her to go through this alone.' Tori felt tears in her eyes, she felt bad for Jade. Although she didn't like her, she didn't want this to be happening to her. Just thinking about it made Tori cry…imagine if Tori was the one who went though that.

Tori whipped her tears away and walked up to Jade's door. Her house was big, she didn't know Jade was rich. She rang the doorbell and waited for a response. She rang it another time. But no response came.

"Jade! I know you're in there! Open up!" Tori shouted. But no one came to the door. She knocked harder.

"C'mon! I just want to talk." Tori said at the door.

"I'm right here, idiot." Jade's voice said behind Tori. Tori turned around and smiled.

"Oh! I thought you were dead or something." Tori said. Jade raised an eyebrow. Jade pushed by her and opened the door. Tori stood outside.

"Are you coming in or not?" Jade asked annoyed. Tori nodded and went in. She watched as Jade locked the door and went to the kitchen.

"So…"Tori began.

"Why are you here?" Jade said cutting to the point.

"Look, I know what happened." Tori said softly. Jade rolled her eyes.

"Drop it, Tori. What you think you know is not true."

"No! Don't lie to me! I know it happened!" Tori exclaimed at her. jade was so annoyed with Tori. All she wanted was to forget about it but Tori kept bugging her about it.

"Who told you then? Huh? Cause it sure as hell was not me!" Jade shouted at her. Tori kept silent, it would destroy jade if she told her that James talked about it and laughed.

"Who, Tori?" Jade repeated as she glared at her. Tori looked down.

"Exactly. You're so stupid!" Jade said to Tori. Tori couldn't take it anymore. She had to tell her the truth.

"No! I'm not stupid because James Carter told me!" Tori shouted. Jade eyes grew wide.

"H-he told you?" Jade said weak. Tori looked at the way Jade grew pale with fear.

"Well not exactly. James was talking about it to his friend Adam. I overheard them." She explained.

"He…he's telling people! No! People….Beck will think badly of me!" Jade burst in to tears.

"No! No, James only told Adams. And trust me if word got out then he'd be in jail right now." Tori reassured her. But Jade cried harder as she fell to her knees. Tori knelled down next to her.

"You don't him! He mocked me after raping me at lunch today! He laughed at me! He's a senior! They'll all think I'm a slut."

"Don't worry. I'll help you through this." Tori whispered to Jade as she grew tears in her eyes too. Jade buried her face in Tori's shirt. 'She knows now. I can't change that. She's kind to me even though all I've done to her was treat her like crap.' Jade thought. Tori wrapped her hand around her.

"Don't tell anyone please!" Jade begged through her sobs. Tori nodded. It's been a very long day. Hopefully tomorrow would be better.

AN- Alright I am done! Sorry I rushed a bit in writing this! I'm leaving this weekend and I wanted this done before I left. So yeah…well Review please! And thank you to all who reviewed :) You all get smiley face!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- I do not own Victorious!

AN- thanks to all who reviewed and again I apologize for the rushing through this, it was not my intention, I've been on a road trip visiting sister's future colleges and this is the first college that has a guest internet cafe… Reade and Review please! Hope you like it!

It was a day full of surprises for Jade. Her worst enemy had found out and despite the fact that Jade treated her like crap, Tori was actually willing to help. And the biggest surprise to Jade was that she allowed Tori to comfort her, she allowed Tori to help her.

Normally, Jade would push away everyone but that's not Jade anymore. When **that** night was over, the old Jade, the mean and violent Jade, was gone. Now Jade doesn't know who she is anymore. It's like her soul and her body left each other. As she lay on the dirt **that** night, she watched her soul exit her body and disappear. She's gone, everything about her is gone.

As much as she just wanted to break down and be weak, to let others heal her, she couldn't. She had to pretend to be the same old Jade. She can't, she won't let anyone get suspicious. Her parents are coming back in a few days, so she shouldn't stress. Her parent's constantly told her _"what ever it is, honey, we will always be here for you. Don't be afraid to tell us anything." _And this was the first time she'll tell them something private. Her dad will help her heal and her mom will help her check for any diseases James might have given her. It'll all be fine when they arrive.

But since that day was far from being near, Jade would have to put on an act. It should be easy, considering the fact that Jade's a good actress. She'll struggle but somehow Jade would do it, even if it kills her she has to do it. No one, especially Beck can ever know. The most important thing in her life was Beck. How would he react to the truth? She couldn't show him her love. They say the best way to prove your love to a guy is you virginity. And Jade was waiting until she was ready to give it to him. He loves her and she loves him. It would have been perfect. But now, now she can't. She had it taken from her by an idiotic bastard. The only thing she could have given Beck was her virginity. But that's impossible now. He would hate her to know she lost it with another guy. A guy she had only known for a week, while she knew Beck for 2 years. It's nearly impossible to get him back now.

She sighed and went to her bedroom. She groaned at the sight of her luxurious bed. How exhausted she was but refused to sleep. Coffee was the only thing that kept her up at night. She sat on it, admiring the silk of her blanket, the comfort of her matrices. But she wouldn't dare to lay down.

She looked over at her nightstand next to her bed. Her phone was vibrating, looked like it was dancing and it scared her. She took her phone to see who was calling. It just had to be him, Beck. She swallowed hard but answered.

"Hello?" Her voice trembled.

"Hey, babe. I wanted to see if you were alright. You left without warning." Beck spoke in the other end of the line.

"Yeah. I'm fine."  
"Look, I know what happened." He said. Jade's heart skipped a beat. H-he knows?

"K-know what?" She stuttered. He took a paused which made her tense up even more.

"That James poured something on you. And everyone laughed at you. It's ok. It doesn't matter, he's a jerk. Don't worry about him. I'm sure everyone already forgot about it." Beck explained. Jade felt relieved. She was terrified when he said "I know what happened" But he meant something different. Her body began to shake.

"Oh, um, thanks." Her voice cracked when she said thanks. Her eyes became watery. She was so scared of him knowing. She thought it was all over in that moment. But it wasn't. And she felt so relived.

"Are you sure you're ok? I could stop by if you want."  
"No!" She answered too quickly. He couldn't come over. It was one hundred percent chance that she would freak out. With him and her being alone…in a house, she would panic.

"Oh, ok then. I guess I'll be going then." He sounded a bit hurt.

"Ok, night, b-babe" She said making her self sound a bit happier. He hung up. She screamed and it echoed around the house. Her anger had gotten the better of her as she threw everything in her sight around. Making it sound as if she was being murdered by someone else. She grew mad with herself. She made it too obvious that she was hiding something. She squeezed her phone in her hand. She squeezed so hard that she could see her veins on her wrist popping out. She let go slowly. She use to cut herself and her veins were very sensitive.

She relaxed a bit. Her body was shaking still. It was probably because she hadn't slept in two days. And she did not plan to sleep this night either. It would soon be Thursday she thought as she looked at her clock. With Tori coming over, it took away most of her time. Tori left around 9 pm. The rest of the time Jade spent thinking. Now it was 11:59. Six agonizing hours left until she has to go to school. Until then she'll just have to figure out what to do. What can she do? She sighed and laid on her bed. It was so comfortable and so relaxing. She closed her eyes for only a second but then she couldn't open them. She fell asleep.

-Dream-

_There she was smiling and laughing with Beck. They were alone in the same house as the party, surrounded by trees. She stopped laughing. Something was calling her to the woods. A little voice was lowering her to the woods. She turned to Beck but he was no longer with her. She looked around for him but he was no where to be found. She swallowed hard. The voice kept getting louder and louder. She decided to follow that voice. It led her down to deeper and deeper in to the woods. Until the voce stopped, she didn't hear anything anymore. She looked around. Where was the way out? She wondered. Then she heard leaves crack, like when someone steps on them. She tensed up and turned to that noise. No one was there. That was when she felt a hand wrap around her waist and she let out a scream. She turned around. At first it was Beck she saw._

"_You idiot, you scared me!" Jade said smiling. But then the face changed. It was no longer Beck but James. _

"_James, what are you doing here?" She asked. James smirked as he kissed her. She tried to push away but it was like she became paralyzed. She couldn't move a muscle. She could only scream. She watched as she was pushed down fiercely. She screamed over and over again but it wouldn't stop. He ripped her apart. She could feel his hands roaming around her body. She can feel they way he looked at her. She felt the way he ripped her apart. She cried and screamed. Once he was done he got up and ran. She laid there crying. That's when she saw Beck. He stood over her. _

"_Beck!" She cried. He looked at her with disgust. _

"_You are a slut," He said. Her heart stopped. _

"_N-no! Please! It wasn't my fault Beck! I swear!" She begged but he only shook his head in disappointment. _

"_You could have pushed him away. You're strong, you could have done something." He scowled. Jade began to cry at his words. How could he say such things? Didn't he know she was hurting? Why wasn't he caring for her? Why doesn't he care? _

_Then suddenly a big light came. She was no longer at the woods but at school in the gym. She laid there on the floor bloody, broken and bruised. All the bleachers were filled with people. The spot light was on her. Beck took a step backwards. She looked at all the students. They stood silent. She was scared. But then sudden laughter filled the gym. Every one laughed at her. She began to cry. They were all pointing and laughing at her. She watched as Beck became like them. He began to laugh. That killed her. That made Jade want to die. No one took sympathy for her. The all looked at her with disgust. They all laughed at her. She cried and cried. She sat up and tried covering herself. When she caught a sight of James. His face burned her. He laughed and announced that Jade West was a slut. Then everyone began to chant "Jade West is a slut". She screamed and screamed but the embarrassment would not go away. The laughter, the chanting, it was all killing her. To see Beck be one of them mad her want to kill herself. James came close to her and whispered, "You know it's all you fault." Her eyes grew wide. What was happening to her? _

-End of Dream-

Jade woke up sweating and crying. She felt it. She felt his hands on her. It was only a dream but it seemed so real. She felt the way they looked at her. She felt the same pain she did when he had raped her. She was shaking with fear. And she was terrified to get out of bed.

All she wanted was to get out of her pain. She just wants to forget. She began gasping for air. It was as if all the oxygen had left her body. She gasped and gasped but nothing would come. Rushing to the bathroom she turned on the water and slashed some on her face. Slowly air filled her lungs. She swallowed hard as she began to go back to her bed. She curled into a ball. Never in her life had she felt so weak, so powerless. And it's all happening now. But why her?

The sunlight brightened up the room. She looked at her clock. It was 9am. She overslept. She whipped away her tears. She was shaking uncontrollably. She tried getting out of bed, but a fear kept holding her back. She couldn't go to school today. She just wanted to cry all day. She just wanted to be alone. This is why she fears of sleeping. She knew she would relive it. Her mind was taken over by James, by everything that happened that night. And that's what Jade did. Jade laid on her bed and kept wishing it all away.

The end of that day came and Jade had not answered any calls from her worried boyfriend, Beck or her somewhat friend, Tori. She ignored all of them. Then she heard the door bell ring. Curiosity led her to the window to see who it was. It was a lady. She had no clue who she was. But she seemed important. Jade quickly gathered herself up and ran to the door. As she opened it Jade took a deep breath.

"Hello." The woman said to Jade.

"Hi." Jade replied.

"Are you Mrs. And Mr. West's daughter? Jade West, I believe." She asked. Jade nodded.

"May I come in?" She asked. Jade let her in and led her to the living room.

"Lovely home you have." She commented.

"Thank you. Sit down if you want." Jade said softly. The woman smiled and sat down. Jade took a seat across from her.

"So, may I help you in some way?" Jade asked. The woman sighed.

"I…it is about you're mother." The woman said. Jade became confused and looked down but then figured it was probably because the neighbors heard her scream insanely. 'Maybe she's with social services or something…and they think my mother was the one who…yeah I get it now' Jade thought. She looked back up at the woman.

"Oh, my mother's in Europe. My father told me she left on a business trip. My grandmother became ill." Jade explained.

"Well, I don't know how to tell you but your father lied." She told Jade. Jade shook her head in confusion.

"Why would my father lie to me?" Jade asked. The woman looked down.

"Monday morning your mother went missing. You're father called us when she didn't show up. We told him not to worry, to wait until Tuesday to show up. He agreed." She explained. Jade looked at her. What is she saying?

"Anyways, Monday night…we found your mother." The woman said looking down once again.

"Where is she then? If she's not in Europe then where is she?"

"I'm sorry to tell you but s-she's…dead." The woman said. Jade grew pale. Dead? No that can't be.

"My dad said she was in Europe! And if she was dead then why isn't my father here because he would have told me this personally instead of having a stranger come and tell me!" Jade exclaimed.

'This woman is clearly lying!' Jade thought.

"I'm sure he didn't want you to know yet. I don't think he is coming back, I'm sorry. A-and that's why I'm here. We're looking for you father." She said.

"Why?" Jade asked outraged of what this woman was telling her.

"He stole money from the bank. We need that money. It wasn't his to take." She said.

"Well I don't know where he is. And I don't want to hear this anymore! Save your bull shit for someone else!" Jade shouted. Jade stood up and the woman took her lead.

"But I need to tell you what you're mother left you in her will. The house is now yours and the money goes to you too. You're father took most of that money. It belongs to you. We need to find him."

"I don't care! Just get out!" Jade screamed.

"An agent will stop by sometime next week to discus where you'll be living. Seeing as you're underage and alone, you can not live on your own." The woman said on her way out.

Jade slammed the door shut.

'My mother is dead and my dad is no where to be found. I…no! They're lying! My mother is in Europe. And any day she will be coming back. Her and my dad will come back. I know it. They can't leave me. They can't leave. I still have to tell them I was rapped. They have to help me get over this. How can they be gone? They can't be. Not yet! Not now! I need them! I-I want them here!' Jade shouted in her mind. She ran to the phone and dialed her mother's number.

"She'll pick up, I know it." Jade said to herself. The phone only rang once.

"I'm sorry but the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected." The line said. Jade dropped the phone as she began to shake. Why is this all happening to her? Was it a punishment for getting raped?

Jade screamed out loud.

"NO! THEY ARE NOT DEAD! I'M DREAMING" she screamed. She was in denial. Her rape, her mother's death and her father's disappearance. It was all too much for her. She couldn't take it. He father is alive but is not coming back. Her mother was gone. Jade went crazy, throwing everything around her. She pulled her hair and screamed. This wasn't her life anymore. This wasn't the way she wanted it. And she is not moving from this house. This is her house. She should be able to stay there. No, it's all wrong!

AN- SO I'm done…in my opinion I think the beginning was a bit rough. So I apologize for that. But any way review please! And don't worry I will make Beck more involved, just later in the story. So again please review and I hoped you liked it. (:

*Worst one hour and a half story….yes I wrote this in an hour and a half so give me credit, I tried at least! .*


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer- I do not own Victorious!

AN- ok I know I'm such a terrible keeper of promises. I said I would update soon but I haven't! First I lost the document, so I had to re-write it. Then I went to the hospital because I broke my arm…): And yes it is still broken. Anyways I'm sorry if this is crap. .'

I've gotten this question twice so I want to let you know the answer.

Question- Are you really going to make Beck and Jade die?

Answer- I don't want to spoil anything but the summary pretty much says it all…except about Beck. And speaking of Beck, he will become more involved in the 6th chapter. Copying George Lopez, I quote "I got this!"

So please be patient and don't stop reading! Review please! I feel so happy to know you guys like it! Thank you!

She sat on her bed waiting for just someone to wake her up from this nightmare. She wanted to shout, to scream but mostly...to bring her parents back to her. She didn't care anymore about James. She could really care less right now; she just didn't want her mother to be gone. Not now, not ever. It's all gone now, his hands roaming all over her body is gone.

Her agent stopped by Friday. Jade refused to open the door. Her last agent had told her that she was not to be left home alone. Jade would have to be removed from her house and into a new custody. Jade made up her mind on that. She was no way in hell moving from that place. Jade will live in that house as if she were emancipated from her parents. For most of her life she's been left alone in that house, her parents always been busy with things. It was her house; no one should make her leave. She's already gone through so much from that bastard James; she doesn't plan to go through anything anymore. It wouldn't matter anyways, right? What else does she have to lose? Her virginity? Gone. Her parents? Gone. Beck? He'll leave sooner or later so that is considered, gone.

And James…well lets just say Jade has put him aside for now. He isn't that important to her. She gave thought about it; she will not let him get to her anymore. Time to suck it up, she tells herself every morning. He will not let her take over her life. She's thought about it, it's been long enough. Dry her tears up and move on with her life. She will not break for his enjoyment. Although she says that now, who knows? Going back to school and facing him once again will be hard. At home she's safe; he can't come to her but at school…its opened land. He can approach her at any time. Jade's thought about it all. He can't hurt her when she's not alone. Even though it kills her to say this but, she'll have to find a friend to be with. Someone…someone like T-Tori…God, just thinking about being friends with Tori gives her the chills. But Tori was the only one who knew, only one who wants to help. And Jade…she can use all the help right now.

Jade's thoughts were carried away by the vibration of her cell phone. She looks at it, gee speaking of a new friend, it's Tori. Jade growled to herself but answered her phone anyways.

"Hello." Jade said roughly.

"Hey, it-it's Tori. Um, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I um, I heard what happened." Tori spoke softly. Jade sighed, of course Tori would know, her dad's a cop. God, why can't Tori for once not know anything.

"I'm fine…" Jade reassured her.

"You sure? I mean I can stop by to talk if you want." Tori offered. Jade wanted to say no but thinking about it, she did need someone to talk to.

"Um, can you come by later on?" Jade asked shyly. This isn't like her to ask people favors but Tori offered, there's a slight difference in accepting offers. She could practically feel Tori smile on the other side of the phone.

"Ok! I'll stop by later." Tori said happily…almost too happy. Jade didn't respond she just hung up on her. Now Tori was coming over…but what for? She already knows about everything! Damn, there's just no way of keeping things from Vega. She's just such a know it all. And for that Jade despites her.

An hour had passed and Jade just starred into space when the door bell rang. Walking downstairs, she opened the door without checking who it was first.

"Wow, you came earlier than expected." Jade said as she opened the door. But her face dropped when it wasn't Tori. It was her agent.

"Hello, I'm Mrs. Kells." The black haired, suit wearing lady said.

"What do you want?" Jade snapped although she already knows why Mrs. Kells is here.

"I'm sure you aware that you are a minor. And as a minor it is against the law to live alone without parental or a guardian living with you."

"I'm emancipated."

"Ms. West, please I know everything about you. And we both know you are not emancipated. So lets just get this over with shall we?" Mrs. Kells spoke. Jade glared at her but let her in.

Mrs. Kells looked around the house, it was clearly unstable. In jade's mind she cursed herself repeatedly. Jade had gone psycho and broken everything. As they reached the living room, Mrs. Kells was taking notes as she sat on the couch.

"So what's going to happen now? Because I am not moving out of this house." Jade spoke up.

"Well, you need a guardian to look after you. Your parents listed two sets of people she wants you with. Mr. and Mrs. Stein or Ms. Dawn." The annoying lady explained.

Jade thought about it. Mr. and Mrs. Stein are from her father side. They're rich, but extremely strict. When Jade spent a weekend with them, they had her followed every where by a guard, making sure she stayed out of trouble .That was the worst weekend she had ever had. Now Ms. Dawn was a good friend of her mothers. She was a fat old lady who was obsessed with dogs and who hated goth children like Jade. On Christmas Ms. Dawn kept complaining on Jade's wardrobe and her attitude towards family gets together.

"So who will it be?" Mrs. Kells interrupted Jade's thoughts.

"Neither. I am staying here. Besides the Stein family lives in FLORIDA! And Ms. Dawn lives on the other side of California. I choose to stay here." Jade argued, she was stubborn and no one will make her leave. Mrs. Kells sighed heavily.

"There is one other option." She said.

"What?" Jade asked interested.

"You can live here but someone, a guardian, must check up on you everyday. They don't necessarily have to live with you but they must make sure that this home is stable, you don't get into any illegal trouble and that you are responsible." She finished. Jade's face brightened up.

"I choose that option!"

"But do you have a guardian that will agree to all the contracts, who is willing to do this?" She asked. Jade looked away. Who could be that person? She could ask Beck's parents but they would insist on her moving in with them. She wouldn't mind but she has such a fear of being alone with Beck.

"I-I can find someone." Jade begged. The agent looked at her with fierce eyes.

"You have until Wednesday to find someone. If not we will pick where you live. Is that clear?" Mrs. Kells said.

Jade nodded eagerly. She stood up and left the house. Jade smiled for the first time. But it soon vanished. Who the hell is she going to stay with? Cat…her family is too crazy. Andre…she never got along with him. What about Robbie? Oh god no! She can't even think how his name came to her mind. But then again…no! No Jade! You will not even think of being with that insane freak.

Jade walked to her kitchen. She was hungry again. Everyday she skipped eating, was now taking affects. She was hungry every 10 minutes. Shaking her head she made herself a sandwich. If she keeps eating like this, she'll gain weight. Jade doesn't care about her weight actually but still it doesn't mean she wants to gain weight.

And once again her thoughts were distracted by the door bell. Walking out of the kitchen she went to the front door. Checking who it was this time, she opened it.

"Hey!" Tori said smiling.

"Hey." Jade could be less thrilled. Tori stepped in looking around. Just before Jade lead her to the living room, Tori could tell that this place was a mess.

"Wow…last time I came this place was neat. Now it just looks like a angry Jade came by." Tori laughed a bit. Jade turned to glare at her. Tori's smile faded and she looked away.

"So…what do you want to do? Or talk about?" Tori asked sitting on the couch. Jade swallowed hard.

"N-nothing. Hey, um have you talked to Beck?" Jade asked. It surprised her as well as it surprised Tori. It just sort of came out.

"Oh, um, well he's really worried about you. He calls me like every day to see if I know something about you. But I haven't told him anything, if that's what you're getting at." Tori explained.

"Ok…I would murder you if you told anyone." Jade threatened. Tori laughed.

"No, I'm dead serious. I would kill you." Jade said with a serious face. Tori stopped laughing. Jade laughed slightly due to Tori's scared expression.

"I was joking." Jade reassured her. Tori half smiled. Tori looked down and saw a paper on the floor. She bent down and grabbed it. On the top it said, "Custody Agreement."

"What's this for?" Tori asked skimming through the paper.

"Oh…it's just…I have to find some adult that will be my guardian. They have to check up on me everyday to make sure everything is ok. But I have no one to do it. I-I'll probably end up moving away." Jade said sadly. Tori's face brightened up.

"Well what about me? My parents can do it! My mom is all about helping other and my dad's a cop. So I'm almost positive who ever is in charge will accept."

"B-but I mean I barley know you. I use to hate you. And I don't even know you're parents."

"Aw, you USE to hate me. That's so nice of you to say." Tori cheered, Jade rolled her eyes.

"I can at least talk to you without having that sudden urge to kill you." Jade replied. Tori smiled at her.

"Come on, it's worth a chance. Unless you want to move,"

"Fine. I'll give it a chance." Jade agreed. Tori's smile got bigger this might work…it's not like there's any other person out there. So why not just give Tori and her idea a chance. It might work.

"so you'll talk to your parents for me?" Jade asked and Tori nodded.

"Sure. So let's go tell my parents."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, you need to get out. We'll tell my parents, and then we'll go out for ice cream!" Tori exclaimed. Jade swallowed hard. Is she insane? Jade hasn't left her house, only for school. Swalloing hard, Jade nodded. After that Jade went to her bedroom to get changed. She put on her black ripped jean with her black shirt with a bloody rose in the middle. She put her eyeliner on and fixed her hair, putting blue strikes in them. She went back downstairs to put her shoes on.

"let's go." Jade said, leading them out the door. Tori pointed at her black convertible. They climber in, putting their seatbelts on and Tori drove off. At the first red light, Jade looked to her right when she heard voices. Her heart stopped when she saw him. James was with his friends, he hadn't noticed her. Before she knew it, the car began to move again.

"Did you just run that red light?" Jade asked Tori. Tori grinned.

"Yup." Jade asked no questions and just smiled. After a while in the car, they reached Tori's house.

Jade followed Tori.

"Hey mom." Tori said as she let Jade in. Her mom was in the kitchen.

"Oh hey sweetie. And hello Tori's friend." Mrs. Vega said walking towards the girls.

"This is my friend Jade West." Tori said, as soon as the last name was said Mrs. Vega's face dropped.

"I am so sorry to hear about you're parents. If there is anything we can do, please don't hesitate to ask." She said to Jade. Jade smiled at her.

"Well actually mom, that's why we're here. Um you see, Jade doesn't have anywhere to go. So um…can she move in with us?"

"Whoa move in? Tori that's not what we agreed on!" Jade exclaimed. Move in with her?

"Actually, Jade, moving in is no problem at all. I would feel so much more comfortable if you did. We have a spare bedroom you can have." Mrs. Vega said. Tori looked at Jade.

"Jade, I know what we agreed on but…I just want you to be safe. I want you to be here. Come on please stay!" Tori begged, Jade was lost. She can't move in with the Vega family, that's…that's just not right!

"Um, why don't I let you girls talk. I'll be out in my garden if you need anything." Mrs. Vega said walking out.

"Tori!" Jade shouted.  
"Look, they don't have to know! Come on just stay! You want to stay in Hollywood right?"

"Yeah…but not here! Not with you! Look I know you're trying to help but this is too much."

"No it's not! Look I'll make it simpler for you. Either you stay or I tell Beck everything." Tori threatened. Jade's heart skipped a beat. Tori wouldn't do that…would she?

"FINE! God but I swear you so much as talk to Beck I WIL murder you." Jade threatened.

"Yey! And I won't say anything. Plus my parents are barley home and Trina is always out too so it'll just be me and you." Tori explained. Jade glared at her. This isn't what she planed at all. This was so much more. But somewhere, inside of Jade, she was relieved. It meant she wouldn't be alone anymore. She would actually be part of some family. It's not her family but still…it would help right?

OK so this chapter wasn't all that great but I had to do something about the custody thing. And I'm sorry.

Also I might delay on the 6th chapter because I type slow with my arm. So yeah…sorry

Please review. :/

Not my best I know…


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer- I keep saying this and I'll say it again! I do not own Victorious

AN- I think I might me losing my touch in writing this story. I had a bit of writers block so sorry if this chapter is a bit "loose". I might not get the seventh chapter up anytime soon because I have to do a lot of things before school starts again. But I will try!

And let me thank you all for reading and reviewing! I really do appreciate everything! Even if you don't review and just read it, thank you so much and I really hope you liked it. And thanks too DimondSunshine for helping me!

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'It's not going to be the same again. Living with people who aren't my family. Living in this house that isn't my home. But what can I do?' Jade thought as she sat on Tori's couch.

This isn't her first time in Tori's house. There's the time when she asked Tori to help her get back together with Beck but that was months ago.

She sat there alone, Tori was talking to her mother. Her mother was sweet and caring; of course she wouldn't mind Jade staying. Tori said her dad wouldn't mind either. But the only one who would care was Trina. Trina wasn't thrilled to have Jade living here but her mother told her to deal with it.

"Jade?" Mrs. Vega said coming down the stairs. Jade looked up at her.

"Tori and I agree on letting you stay here. And I would like it if you were to move in by the end of the day. We have a spare room. It has its own bathroom and everything!" Mrs. Vega explained. Jade half smiled. Her smiles were so empty.

"Um, ok. Then I'll just go pack then."

"Alright. Tori why don't you take Jade home and help her pack." she spoke to Tori.

'Part of me hates Tori for doing this but part of my also loves her for this. It's all controverting.' Jade thought.

Tori and Jade left Mrs. Vega in the kitchen.

"So I'll help you pack first or do you want to stop for ice cream first?"

"I hate ice cream...let's just go pack my stuff." Jade told Tori. Tori just nodded, slipping into the driver's seat as Jade slid into the passenger's seat. IT wasn't that long of a drive, Jade lived about 7 blocks from Tori. Jade's house was part of the "rich" block, or at least that's what everyone else who doesn't live there call it.

Once at Jade's house, they began to pack her clothes.

"Hey are you going to want to take any books from your shelves?" Tori asked pointing at book shelf. Jade sighed.

"Listen Vega, I said I would stay at your house. As in I would sleep there at night. I'm still coming to my house where all my things are. I'm just taking my clothes ok?" Jade hissed. She couldn't help it. She was a bit annoyed with Tori right now. Tori stood silent, not wanting to argue she just continues cleaning out Jade's wardrobe.

"Hey I'm a use you're bathroom." Tori said. Jade nodded and watched as Tori went into the bathroom. Five minutes later, Tori came out holding an object. Her face was paler than usual and her hand was shaking.

"Jade, what's this?" Tori said holding up a pregnancy test. Jade's face dropped.

"..." Jade couldn't find words to say.

"You-you're not pregnant...are you?" Tori asked.

"N-no! Well...I think not."

"What do you mean you don't think?"

"Look, James didn't use a condom...but it's too early to tell if I'm pregnant or not...you can't tell anyone!" Jade yelled. Tori swallowed hard looking at the pregnancy test box and then back to Jade.

"I-I won't I swear."

"OK then...I'm done packing. Help me carry theses bags to you're car." Jade told Tori. Surprisingly Jade only had 3 bags.

After hours and hours of unpacking and settling in, Jade was finally moved in to the Vega's house. It would take a long time to get use to living there but she would have to or else she'd have to move. But why doesn't she want to move? Does she want to stay in Holly Wood Arts? But why? Her rapist goes to that school. Why does she want to stay? She'd be staying in a place full of bad memories, full of hurt and anger. Though it brings her pain to stay, she doesn't want to leave. Something inside of her tells her to stay. If she moves it's like admitting to James that he won. That he had taken over her...it'd be showing weakness. And Jade has shown too much weakness. She has to get strong like before. She already decided she would move on no matter what. James wouldn't get the best of her. She won't allow it.

A distant knock got her attention back to the real world. She looked at the door. She was lying in bed.

"Come in." She said. The door opened. She expected it to be Tori but no it wasn't her. It-it was Beck. He stood there just looking at her. She sat up.

"B-Beck...what are you doing here?" Jade asked quietly but he had heard.

"I came to see you." He said stepping closed. Jade tensed up.

"H-how did you find me?" Her voice was so soft and quiet. It had fear in it.

"I called Tori. I know what happened. I know why you're here. It's ok Jade. I understand why you didn't want me to know." He explained. Her heart sank.

"You know? A-and you're not mad at me?" Jade said. He shook his head.

"I would never be mad at you. I mean it's not you're fault that you're mom died and you're father left you. I get it now."

Jade was confused. That's what he knows...for a second, only for a second, she felt happy to think that he knew everything about her rape. But no he spoke of her parents and that sudden feeling was taken away. She didn't care that he knew about her parents.

"And that's all you know?" Jade asked.

"Yeah and that you didn't want me to know because I would be so worried about you."

"W-who told you?"

"Tori. I can't believe it though. I mean, I thought you hated Tori."

"I needed a place to stay...I mean I-"

"It's ok. Tori told me that too." He said. Jade felt a bit of anger inside.

"What exactly did Tori tell you?"

"That you didn't want to move in with me 'cause you wouldn't feel comfortable. But don't get mad at Tori."

Jade only smiled. Beck walked over to her and hugged her. Jade froze with fear but he didn't do anything. He didn't push her down. He didn't do anything to her. Beck wasn't there to hurt her like she thought. Tears escaped from her eyes and on to Beck's shirt.

"It's ok. I'm here for you." Beck reassured her. While he kept thinking it was about her parents, Jade cried over the feeling of relief that she could once again let Beck hold her without having such fear.

They pulled away from each other. Jade smiled at Beck.

"I should probably get going before Tori's mom gets back." He said. Jade nodded and watched him leave. Only seconds after he left, Tori rushed in.

"What happened? Are you ok?" She asked out of breath.

"I'm fine chill. I'm actually…sort of happy." Jade admitted. Tori smiled.

"Why?"

"Because…I can let Beck hug me Tori! I can actually let him come close to me without feeling scared, without feeling the need to push him away." Jade cried. Tori sat down next to her. She felt happy for her. To most people it would be nothing to let someone hug them but to a victim of rape…it means the world to them. Its like a huge weight has been lifted up. It's a sign that prove this is where Jade belongs. Not hidden in the shadows of her pain but out with reality. That was the best feeling she could feel. And Tori, she couldn't feel but to take a little credit. She was the one who told Beck.

…..

'A month has gone by, the agent agreed for me to stay. And at school I made the excuse of being sick and things went back to normal. My life was falling back in to place. That was until…I didn't get my period. I-I can't understand why though. I should get it. Maybe I'm over thinking it. Maybe its just late…I can't be…p-pregnant right? But I will check tomorrow…I'll go tomorrow morning to my house before school. I'll take the pregnancy test just to reassure myself that I'm not pregnant. There's no way I can have James little runt. But why I thinking I'm pregnant? Jade, you are not pregnant. Stop thinking you are!' Jade thought as she paced around her room. Tori knocked on the door.

"Jade the guys are here! Let's go!" Tori said. Jade had forgotten about that, they made plans to go to the movies. Jade was fine again, being with her some what friends made her feel better. She and Beck had kissed, she didn't pull away. Everything was so right yet it felt so wrong.

AN- And it's a cliff hanger. A very bad one but it's one. So review pretty please!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious!

AN- ok this is the 7th chapter! I know I said it would take me a while but I forgot I already wrote this chapter so yeah, my bad. Please, please review. Good or bad reviews, I take them all.

The movies went fine. Andre, was making jokes, Cat wasn't a spaz as much, Tori was herself, Beck was looking hot as usual and Robbie…well he's just Robbie. But surprisingly I had fun tonight. Now we're on our way back home. Beck is giving Tori and me a ride home. Trina had Tori's car because she was going out with her "boyfriend". I don't believe her but what do I know?

"So someone had fun tonight." Beck suddenly said. I turned to him. We were riding in his truck.

"And someone is going to have to shut up." I replied. I hate it when people point out pointless stuff. It annoys me almost as bad as when a person says "fustrated" instead of frustrated.

"Oh come on, it was…cute. The way you laughed like a little child. I missed that." He told me. I blushed slightly; completely forgetting Tori was sitting next to me. The only way I noticed she was here was when she coughed.

"Not to be rude or anything but I'm also here! And I don't want to hear all romance what not." She spoke up.

I felt myself sink deeper into my seat. Beck stayed silent although I did hear him chuckle. All this distraction made me almost forget about my…possible pregnancy. But as I said "almost" which means I'm still thinking about it in that back of my head. I mean, who could forget about this? Tomorrow a yes or no question will change my life. A simple, stupid and completely unnecessary question will change me. If it's yes…I'm screwed. If it's no…I'll spend the entire week thinking about what would have happened if I was. Either way, it's all about the answer. I'm so anxious right now. But there's another question I keep asking myself. Should I tell Tori? She did say I can trust her. I don't know though, what if she doesn't keep her mouth shut? Tori would be the type to spill if put under pressure. I should know, I mean look at what she did now. She told Beck where I was because he kept begging and asking. A-…

"Jade, we're here." Tori said pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked over to her; she was standing next to the door. I nodded and began to slide out but Beck caught my arm. When I turned to meet him, his lips were against mine. I didn't push away or anything. I just kissed back, enjoying his lips.

After a while I pulled away, breaking the kiss.

"I got to go now. I'll see you tomorrow t school." I told him. He nodded and I got out of the truck looking at Tori. She was already at the front door. I ran up to her.

"I see you're doing so much better." Tori whispered as we took off our shoes. I smiled.

"Yup. And…thanks. You know for helping me." I whispered back. She just smiled and hugged me. God her hugs are death like. She hugs so tight.

"'..Now." I choked out. She gasped and let me go.

"Sorry. Now let's go sleep. It's Monday tomorrow." We groan and head upstairs. I was hoping this night wouldn't end. If it didn't end, there'd be no tomorrow. And tomorrow is a day I am so not looking forward to. And to make things worse, it would be on a Monday. I hate Monday; it's always the first day of the week of school. Gah~ What ever. I'm just going to go to sleep now.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. ..

I stretch as I sit up. Rubbing my eyes open, I remember what I have to do. I do my usual routine but a bit faster. I showered, dressed, put on my makeup and gathered my school supplies. As I walk downstairs I see Tori eating breakfast.

"Oh hey, where are you going? I'm still eating!" Tori said.

"Um, I have to make a stop at my house first. So just go to school without me. I'll catch up later don't worry." I replied.

"No, no it's ok. I'm ready too. Come on I'll drive you. Trina can walk." She told me as she stood up walking towards the door. She grabbed her keys and her bag.

"Are you coming?" She asked. I nod. Crap. I can't take it with her at my house. I'll take to long. I sighed. I guess I'll take it at school then.

I followed her to her car. Minutes later we were at my house. I told her to stay in the car. I ran to my house and to my room. I grabbed the test, placing it in my bag. I ran back to the car.

"Ready?" She asked me, I nodded. We drove to school.

Everything was normal once again. I didn't see James at all, only my boyfriend and friends. I didn't really talk much, I just listened to Cat go on and on about her brother. I laughed slightly when Rex, Robbie's stupid puppet, made a comment saying how no one cares about Cat and her insane family. A bit cruel but funny. Beck wasn't really talking to me, he wasn't mad or anything, he was just busy talking to Andre. And Tori, she left us to go to the library. I stood around just commenting every now and then but I couldn't really focus. And when that bell rang my heart sank. This is it. I said goodbye to Beck and everyone else. I walked as slow as I could to the bathroom. While everyone was in homeroom, I would be alone in the bathroom. A good chance no one would be there when I took it.

I walked in making sure no one was there. I closed the door and put my bag on the sink. I took out the test. This is it. It's now…or never. Just wish I could choose never instead. I swallowed hard. I took the pregnancy stick out of the box.

Pee on the stick and in 3 minutes I will get my results. I felt my legs shaking as I went into a stall. I did what I had to do.

A minute later I flushed the toilet and stepped out. I held the test in my hand. I can't believe I'm going through this. I walked to the sink and washed my hands clean. Placing the stick on top of paper towels and placed it on the sink, I waited for the results. I paced around the bathroom. God how long is 3 minutes? I swear this is the longest 3 minutes of my life.

I took a deep breath and walked to the door, then back to the sink. Come on! I'm so damn anxious right now. I can't even breathe properly. My legs are shaking and I feel as if I'm about to fall. My stomach feels sick right now. It's probably because I'm either hungry, having skipped breakfast, or I'm just nervous.

I look at the sink. It's time.

I walked to the sink slowly. I picked up the stick and held it in my hand. I felt tears running down my cheek. Fuck! This can't be! I am pregnant. My legs got weak and I fell to my knees, holding the test firmly in my hand. No… I felt tears running down my face. I can't have this baby but I'm completely against abortion. I can't be a pregnant, I'm only fucking 16. And what about Beck? How will he react when I tell him…if I tell him? What will he do when I tell him that this runt might not even be his? It'll be over. Then and there, I would be alone. I can't be pregnant, maybe the test is wrong.

God how pathetic do I sound? Entering denial. This is reality, and reality is I'm pregnant. Nothing I can do now.

I whipped away my tears, smearing the mascara on my cheeks.

That's when I heard the door. I quickly stood up. So fast that I actually got dizzy.

"Jade?" I looked at the mirror. It was Cat.

"Jade? Are you ok?" She asked stepping closer to me. I took paper towels and cleaned my makeup off.

"What's wrong?" She persuaded me to speak. I only glared at her through the mirror. Then she looked at my hand. Her eyes widen with shock. Fuck. I had the positive sign on it.

"Y-you're pregnant…" Her voice faded. I gave her a death glare.

"Shut up. It's none of you're damn business!"

"Jade! I can't believe it."

"Leave me alone Cat." I said softly. I push past her and walked through the halls.

"Jade! No come back!" I hear her shout behind me. I didn't slow down. I only ignored her.

"Jade tell me or I'll go get Beck!" She threatens. That's one thing Cat knows about me. Every time she threatens to get Beck, I always end up telling Cat everything. But not this time, Cat can't keep a secret. She would tell everyone and Beck will defiantly be part of everyone!

I turn around and did something I wasn't proud of. I slapped her across the face. I watched as she collapsed and burst into tears. Crap. I'm so sorry Cat. I wanted to tell her but I found my mouth dry when I opened it.

I ran away like a coward. I could have apologized but I didn't. I left her crying.

"Jade! Jade wait up!" I heard another voice. I stopped to look who it was. I regretted it. It was Andre. Without caring I began to walk away. I felt his strong hand land on my arm, pulling me to him.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you hit Cat?" He shouted at me. I don't know. I-I just did. Please leave me alone! I'm pregnant don't you know?

"Jade talk!" He yelled at me. I looked at him, tears threatened to fall. How can I tell him that I, Jade West, am pregnant? He would think I'm a whore. And if I tell him it's not Beck's…

"Jade talk now! Why did you hit Cat? What did she do to you?"

"André…I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hit her." I cried. I couldn't hold back anymore. I began to let the tears fall.

"Then why did you do it?" He asked sincerely. I tried whipping my tears away but they kept falling.

"She…she was g-going to tell B-Beck." I stuttered. He looked confused.

"Tell her what?"

"…T-that I was pregnant." I said softly. His eyes widen. And that's all that I saw before my anxiety began to kick in. My breaths got shorter, I fell to the ground but Andre catched me. He was shouting my name I think. His voice became distant and I couldn't breathe anymore. So I gently closed my eyes and let my self fall. Its all too overwhelming for me right now. I can't take this anymore.

And sudden memories of THAT night came rushing back. He pinned me to the ground, he kicked and punched me. He got his way with me. He took over me. He and his fuckin' hands got what the wanted. And he left me lying on the ground, blood, broken and bruised.

AN- Ok I'm done. In my opinion I think it wasn't all bad, just a few area's on the story that I need to work on. Especially the beginning of the chapters. Anyways Review please (:

Oh and sorry if there were errors I did not catch.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- OK so I just wrote this so please review.

To anonymous reviewer named Aly, thank you for being patient. And to everyone else thank you so much for reviewing. I am trying hard to write but it's a bit hard with school and homework. But on the bright side, I can type faster. My cast is off!

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Andre stood there, outside of Hollywood Arts, with Jade in his arms. Apparently her anxiety had gotten the best of her.

'What the hell am I suppose to do now? Should I just leave her here and pretend I never saw her or should I take her to the nurse. She'd kill me if I made this public but she needs help. But what if she gets mad at me? I don't like the girl but seeing her mad kills me…mostly because she turns violent at me. I think I'll just take her to my place and call Beck. He'll know what to do.' Andre thought. He sighed, lifting Jade up and walking to his car. He put her in the back seat and climbed in the driver's seat, completely ignoring the fact that he'll get detention for skipping class. Before driving off, he got out his phone. There's no way he'd be able to handle Jade alone. And who else be better in handling Jade than her two year boyfriend, Beck.

Andre- Hey Beck, I need you  
Andre- You're girlfriend…she sort of passed out…I'm taking her to my place. Please, please come! I can't handle Jade alone.

Beck- No worries, I'll be there as soon r help man

Beck- What's wrong? as possible. Just please take care of her.

Andre sighed of relief, and drove to his house. 'So Jade's pregnant...damn. I wonder if Beck knows yet. Maybe that's why she was crying when I found her. Maybe Beck didn't want anything to do with her…No. That can't be. One, Beck isn't the type to be like that. And two, he wouldn't care about what I just told him.

Anyways, I don't think he knows yet…damn, I just can't get it into my head. Jade is pregnant, there's a baby growing inside of her.'

Andre parked his car in his drive way. He carried Jade into his house and put her on the couch. He didn't feel like going up all the stairs just to get to his room. He looked at her on the couch.

'Wow, Jade looks pretty cute when she's not all violent.' Andre swallowed hard. He needed some fresh air. AS he walked out the door, he met Beck on his steps.

"Where's Jade?" Beck asked out of breath.

"She's inside." Andre replied following Beck inside. Beck ran to Jade, kneeling besides her.

"W-what happened to her? This morning she was fine."

"Beck, there's something I think you need to know." Andre said softly. Beck looked at him concerned.

"What?" Beck asked, not so sure if he wanted to know. The way Andre said it made the news sound horrible.

"Well….Jade's pre-" Andre got cut of with Jade's moan. Beck turned around and put his hand on her check.

"B-Beck?" Jade said, waking up. She sat up with her eyes barely opened.

"hey babe, how are you feeling?" Beck asked brushing hair off her face. She opened her eyes fully and stretched. Her head hurt.

"I-I'm fine…" Jade trailed off remembering what she had told Andre. She shoot him a look. He knew exactly what she meant by that look. He shook his head. Jade sighed of relief.

Beck looked at Andre and back at Jade.

"Is there something I need to know?" He asked. Jade swallowed hard.

"Um, Sort of…"

"Well, what is it?" Beck asked. Jade looked at Andre, hinting him to leave so he wouldn't screw things out. Andre nodded and walked out of the room.

"Beck, I'm living with Tori now."

"What? Jade you are aware that I already know this right?" Beck questioned. Jade looked down and then beck up with tears in her eyes. It's been a while since she cried over her parents.

"My…m-mom is dead …and my…my dad left me. And I can't get over it…" Jade cried. She buried her face in her hands.

"I know…I'm sorry I wasn't more careful with your feeling babe. I just thought you got over it…" Beck said. He understood now, he understood why she wasn't the same as before. It was obvious something was wrong but he never bothered to ask why. He looked at his girlfriend and hugged her.

"You know, you can stay with me if you don't want to stay with Tori. " He said softly. She nodded.

"I'm sorry Beck. I couldn't tell you…" She said calming down a bit. He shook his head, such worry in his eyes.

"It's ok, babe. I love you." Beck replied. Jade opened her mouth to speak but her phone went on. She picked it up. It was a text message from Cat.

Cat- I won't tell anyone…I swear.

Jade- I know. Cat, can you forgive me? Pleas, I didn't mean it.

Cat- Kay! If you need any help I'm here.

Jade- thanks kitty cat. Now leave. I'm with Beck and Andre.

Jade smiled at her phone. Maybe things aren't what they seem. Andre coughed re-entering the living room.

"Oh hey…um Beck can I talk to Andre alone?" Jade asked, putting her cute face on. Beck nodded and left.

"So you told him?" Andre asked.

"No…Andre I can't! So please don't tell him."

"Jade, he's going to figure it out."

"It's just…you…I told him something else. Well he already knew but I just needed to use that excuse again. And I think you should know too."

"What's up?"

"Andre…my parents…my mom is dead and my dad left me." Jade said. Andre stood there in a bit of shock.

"W-what? Jade, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks…" Jade replied. Andre sat beside her, placing his hand on her lap.

"It'll be ok. I'll help you." He said.

Jade sighed. 'Maybe it won't be so bad after all. Having Cat and Andre help her is…it feels so relieving. Like I can breathe again.' Jade thought resting her head on Andre's shoulder.

AN- Ok I'm done. (: So PLEASE REVIEW!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer- I do not own Victorious

AN- And this is the 9th chapter. I tried not to screw this chapter up so read and review please…(:

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Jade's POV

'I wonder what would have happened, you know, if I told him about my pregnancy. Would he have gotten mad? Probably, though Andre said he'd understand. No one knows that for sure. Beck can be surprising. I love him but the question is, does he love me. Sure he says it, but words are words there is no telling when they're real or not. I mean two months ago I was freaking out about Beck leaving me for Tori. And now I have bigger things to worry about.'

"Jade?" A voice pulled me far from my thoughts. I looked over my shoulder to see Tori standing by my bedroom door.

"Oh Tori…" My voice faded. I need to tell her about…this. She'll figure it out anyways.

"My mom said we can order pizza, since it's just us two." Tori said. Her parents went on a cruise for their anniversary and Trina was camping on a school trip. I swallowed hard before turning to her.

"I need to tell you something." I spoke softly. She raised an eyebrow. I watched her as she entered my room and sat on my bed. I was at my desk, sitting on a chair when I felt a bit sick. I-I...

I ran to the bathroom as quick as possible. And out it went. I throw up.

I heard Tori's feet running toward the bathroom. I flushed the toilet and washed my mouth.

"Are you ok?" Tori said from the other side of the door.

"Are you sick or something?" She asked.

"No. its worse," I said opening the door, "I'm pregnant."

We stood in silent. Her face had grown pale. She must be in shock right now. The silence that fell upon us was very uncomfortable.

"A-and…it's not Beck's is it?" Was the first thing that came out of her mouth. I shook my head.

I breathed heavily.

"Did you take a test?" Her voice was still in a bit of shock, she had a blank expression upon her face.

"Yeah…" My voice cracked. I know what you're thinking, Tori. Are you disgusted by me?

"Have you told anyone yet?" All theses questions coming from her were a bit irritating.

"Andre and Cat know. But that's it. Tori you need to help me please! I'm so scared. I can't have a baby now. Not this way, not with James being the father!" I exclaimed.

I watched her swallow and take a few breaths in and out.

"Ok. I'll help you but you have to promise me something."

"Anything!"

"You're going to tell Beck." She said. I felt my heart skip a beat. Tell Beck? She's joking right?

"No…no…no!" I shouted. I am not.

"He's going to figure it out anyways!" She exclaimed. I looked down. That's what Andre said…

"Not now Tori…I can't. Maybe he won't notice if I get an a-"

"NO! Jade you are not doing that! Never, you understand me?" Tori shouted. She's right though, I wouldn't…no, couldn't go through an abortion.

"Fine…but I'll tell him later." I begged. She glared at me.

"Jade…tell him! Why will you not tell him?"

"B-because! He won't understand ok? He will leave me!" I yelled with tears in my eyes. Tori looked at me and shook her head.

"No, Jade. That's what you think but he won't ever leave you. Jade, Beck loves you. And I should know. I see the way he looks at you., The way he smiles at you…" Tori dazed off. Was she thinking about my boyfriend? I hit her on her arm. She snapped out of thoughts. I pushed past her and went into my room, shutting the door behind me. I heard her scream my name but I refused to open it.

'It's been half an hour of silence. What was Tori doing? Had she given up and retreated? Or is she-' Another knock on my door pulled me away from my thoughts.

"Go away Tor." I said laying on my bed.

"It's not Tori." I heard a rough voice say. It was Andre.

"Open the door Jade." I heard a squeaky voice call. It was Cat. I got up quickly and opened the door. There they stood. One, two and three. Andre, Cat and Tori.

"You don't believe me, so I told Andre and Cat about what you think. They both think you're crazy Jade." Tori explained pushing pass me. Cat and Andre did the same. When I turned around, they were all sitting on my bed, I groaned and grabbed my chair.

"Jade, I agree with Tori. You can't seriously think Beck will leave you?" Cat said I glared at her. She looked away from me. I sighed. I can't really get mad at her now, every time I do, I remember what I did to her. I hit her, I knocked her down.

"Jade, I told you the same thing. Beck loves and will always love you." Andre spoke up. I looked at all of them. Can they be right? Will Beck really understand me?

"What if you're wrong?" I asked. They are all sure of their choices but what if their wrong?  
"I doubt we are wrong but if we are, then oh well. His lost. And we'll all be here to support you. I'll be the child uncle even." Andre said smiling about the uncle thing. I half smiled.

I can't believe something like this would bring us all together. I mean, I would have never talked to Andre if this hadn't happened. And I would have never felt so loved by Cat like I do right now. And Tori…I can't begin to explain her. She's helped me so much…so much that I'm ready. I'm ready to trust her more. And I'm going to tell Beck.

"Ok…You guys win. I'll tell Beck." I said, my voice had a bit of fear in it. I took a deep breath as Cat handed me her phone. I dialed Beck's number.

"Hello?" He said from the other line.

"Beck…it's jade."

"Oh hey babe."

"Um, can you come over? There's something I need to tell you." I said. I can't believe I'm doing this. Pleas ebe right, Tore, Andre and Cat.

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AN- Ok and I'm done. Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer- I do not own Victorious

AN- ok so I really want more review so yes, I updated this as soon as possible (:

Please review! Thank you

Beck's POV

I was on when my phone started ringing. Apparently Cat needed something…again. I get at least three calls from her a week just so she can say hi. Regardless of that, I pick up my phone.

"Hello?" I answer

"Beck…it's jade." The voice on the other side replied. I sighed, but why is she using Cat's phone?

"Oh hey babe." I said.

"Um, can you come over? There's something I need to tell you." Her voice was faded and soft.

"S-sure." I stuttered, please let her not break up with me. The only time she asks to talk is when she wants to break up or yell at me. But she sounded calm and distant…it's a break up for sure.

Although I didn't want to break up, I went to her or Tori's house. My heart speed was abnormal, it was going twice as fast. Jade's been strange lately and I'm worried, I know she's hiding something from me, I just don't know what.

Driving to Tori and Jade's house I noticed that Andre's car was there. It only scared me even worse. What could be going on? I parked my car in Tori's driveway and made my way to the front door. I knocked on the door and Cat opened it.

"Beck!" Cat said happily. Cat's here too? Now I'm extremely anxious to figure what's going on with Jade.

"Hey Cat. Where's Jade?" I asked. I noticed she tensed up a bit but her smile never faded.

"Oh um, she's in her room. Here I'll show you!" Cat said grabbing my hand and dragging me upstairs. Cat opened the door and I saw Jade sitting on her bed with her eyes swollen. I saw Andre and Tori by her side. This really worried me. When I sw Jade she avoided all eye contact with me.

"Well, we are going to leave." Tori said standing p.

"We are?" Andre asked confused. Tori gave him a look that said get-up-and-walk. Andre and Tori smiled as they passed me, Andre gave me a pat on my shoulder. I felt very nervous right now.

The door closed and I jumped slightly.

"Jade? What's wrong babe?" I asked as I went to her. She started crying again. I didn't know what to do. So I just hugged her.

"I need to tell you something Beck. Something that…that will change the way you look at me." She spoke. Her voice so soft. I looked at her.

"Jade, I will always love you no matter what. Just tell me what's wrong?" I said growing tears in my own eyes. Seeing my girlfriend hurt while I can't do anything, kills me. She pulled away from my hug and sat up straight. She had a pillow on her lap. Her makeup stained my shirt and she laughed a bit.

"Sorry, I stained your shirt." She laughed and her smiled seemed to brighten up the mood. I smiled at her. There's nothing more then her smile- and it's gone…

"So what is it that you wanted to tell me?" I asked. She took a deep breath.

"Well…Beck…I-I'm pregnant." She said. My heart stopped. It froze. I-I got a girl pregnant? Wait…Jade and me haven't slept together…

I looked at her in shock. I grew tears in my eyes. She's pregnant with someone else's baby?

"I know…I know we haven't slept together Beck but please hear me out!" She cried. Her tears flooded her eyes. I felt tears escape my own.

"Ok…" Was all I said. I can't believe this is happening to me.

"Who's is it?" I asked.

"James Carter…" Her voice cracked. I bursted into tears. No that bastard! No! Why, Jade!

"But I said no Beck…I told him no but he wouldn't listen to me." She spoke, her voice grew soft again. I looked at her. What is she saying. I knew what she was getting at, I'm not stupid but I didn't want to believe it at all.

"James…he raped me." She said, her face was filled with tear stains. I looked down. He raped me girlfriend. That idiot rapped her.

"Beck…" She called my name. I didn't respond, I don't know what to say.

"Please…Beck." She begged me. I couldn't stand to see her like this. She was broken and I never noticed. I'm a bad boyfriend. I can't believe I never saw.

"BECK TALK!" She yelled.

"And say what? Jade he raped you! He rapped my girlfriend! I don't want to do anything right now but kill him!" I shouted crying. She stood up as did I.

"I can't do this alone Beck. I need to know…will you stay with me?" She asked. Is she insane? Of course I will. I love her no matter what.

"Jade, I love you. I will always love you no matter what." I said. She gave me a hug, she wrapped her hands around my neck and I held her in my arms. I felt her tremble beneath me. But the rage inside was taking over me.

"I have to go see James. Right now Jade."

"Why? Beck you're not going to do something to him are you?"

"No…just teach him a lesson." I said walking away. I opened the door of her room and Tori, Andre and Cat all fell through the door. I looked at them and they just stood up quickly. I didn't bother to stop I just ran to my car.

"BECK! No please!" Jade shouted behind me. But I didn't pay attention. James is going to pay for this.

"Beck!" Andre shouted jumping in front of my car.

"Man move!" I yelled from inside.

"No! If you do this, you're only going to make it worse for Jade." He said. I froze and looked at Jade who was in the arms of Tori crying. Cat ran up to Andre.

"Beck, come on! Please Jade needs you." Cat pleaded before going back to jade. I sighed taking the keys out of the car. I sat there, rested my head on the wheel and cried. This isn't over James. But Jade comes first…

I got out of the car and Andre hugged me. I don't care about James for now. I go up to Jade and she glares at me. She slaps me on the face. I deserve that. She looks at me and then hugs me.

"Don't leave me…" She whispered.

"Never." I whispered back.

AN- Ok I'm done! REVEIWE PLEASE!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- ok I tried re-writing this but I think I failed. So I just went back to the original one and edited it by adding more details and stuff. And I don't know the color of Jade's eyes so I'm just going with blue. Though in some shots the look blue with a hint of green O.o and if I'm way off then I am color blind lol Also i am still on chapter 12 so in the mean time just read this one :)

Beck's POV

Standing outside, in front of the house with Jade in my arms, I felt the wind rush through my hair. Everyone decided to give us some space so they went inside. I looked down at Jade, her blue eyes were swollen. I felt so bad for her, first her rape and then her parents. How much can a person take? And I know Jade, she pretends to be strong but deep inside she's only calling for help. How could I have not seen it? I missed her cry for help this time. But it doesn't matter anymore. I'm here for her now. That's all that matters, right?'

"Beck, what's going to happen now? I can't have a baby. I am no where near ready to be a mother!" Jade cried, I focused my attention back on her. What am I suppose to say to her, when I don't even know?

"I…I'm not so sure. But I'll help you through this. If it does any help, I'll be the father of this baby…" I told her. A father? Am I even ready for this? I mean, I can barely keep my gold fish alive for a week. But it doesn't matter. Jade can't, no, won't go through this alone.

"Beck…" She called my name. She was speechless and I took that time to kiss her. Her soft lips pressed against mine, it felt real this time. Not like any other time where a kiss was just a kiss. This kiss meant something else, something that wasn't there before. And that was just so perfect.

"You know, I had such a fear of telling you. I actually thought you'd leave me."

"I know, I can't believe you'd ever think that." I said smiling at her. She gave me one of her special smiles that only I get to see. And I could have sworn the sun got a bit warmer.

"Come, lets go inside." She said dragging me behind her. This is just like old time, she says something and I follow. And I'm not complaining, having a girl demand me is...hot.

As we entered the house, I saw Tori and Andre in the kitchen talking, it's so obvious that they like each other, and Cat in the living room watching TV happily. I swear I have never seen Cat frown.

"Hey, look! It's Jade and Beck!" Cat cheered. Andre and Tori looked at us.

"Hey." I said as Cat jumped and gave us a hug.

"I missed you so much!" Cat said. I looked at her.

"Cat, we've been gone for ten minutes." I responded, there has got to be something wrong with her.

"I know but ten minutes is like forever!" She replied. I shook my head and felt Jade's hand slip through mine. I looked at her, she was walking towards the kitchen.

Cat was talking to me, though I can honestly say I was not paying attention. I think she was saying something about her brother again. I have never meant her brother nor do I want to.

"So then the pizza man left and I was left with no pizza." Cat pouted. Was she finally done talking?

"Good for you." Was all I could think of, she gave me a look that most girl give that said are-you-listening-to me? I smiled and that seemed to work. She skipped happily to the kitchen where the rest of the gang was.

"Actually, pizza sounds good right now." Andre said, apparently over hearing Cat's conversation.

"Yeah, why don't we go pick some up." I suggested. We all agreed.

"Beck, go with Andre to go get it." Jade demanded.

"Yes Ma'am" I said smiling at her. I know, most relationships would have the guy rule over the girls but we're not most couples. I followed Andre out the door and into his car.

Andre drove his car to the pizza place that was only 10 minutes from the house.

It was when we parked in the parking lot that I noticed a certain car. That same red convertible car that James owned was right there. And a sudden rush of anger came out of me when I saw him laughing with his friends. He was coming out of the pizza place. I glared at him. How can that bastard live with himself? He's nothing but a vermin. A weak, pathetic piece of shit.

"Man, don't do anything stupid." Andre warned me. I shot him a look.

"How can you say that? Andre you know what he did. And look at him, he's just disgusting."

"Think of Jade. She doesn't want anymore drama than what she already has." Andre fought back. I sighed angrily. We got out of the car. We walked calmly to the pizza place…I tried to resist myself from him. It was just so frustrating; I will never understand how he can live with himself.

"Hey Beck, how's your girlfriend, Jade? I heard she…" He laughed and then continued, "That she loves to party. If you know what I mean."

And that did it. That's all it took before my fist came into contact with his face. He fell to the floor but I didn't stop just yet. This is my turn now, to teach him how it feels to be weak, to be powerless.

I kicked him in the stomach repeatedly. I heard the yells of his friends but they didn't dare to touch me. Then James got up and through a punch at my face. I fell to the ground but got right up. I punch his face and this time I aimed for his nose. I saw blood began to drip. I smiled a bit before shoving him on to the floor. I began kicking him again….and again. I was just so angry. He raped Jade…he raped her…and I will never get over that. He took something away from her that she was not ready to give up.

"Beck stop!" Andre shouted at me. He pulled me. I looked at James. He laid there, bloody, broken and bruised. I laughed at him.

"Beck let's go!" Andre pulled me away and shoved me into the car.

"I told you not to do anything stupid!" He yelled at me. I laughed again, had I gone mad? Probably but that's what happens to me when someone hurts Jade. He got her pregnant, and that will never change.

"Andre, you heard what he said?" I yelled back. Andre gave out a small frustrated sigh.

"You could have killed him." Andre said. Oh come on KILL? No, he's exaggerating.

We stayed silent until I realized something funny.

"Hey, you forgot the pizza." I said with a smile of victory in my face. I looked at Andre, he only glared at me. I had gone mad haven't I? And I know he'll come after me. So I'll just be waiting for him.

I closed my eyes and ignored the throbbing pain that came from my cheek, it was where James punched me. I know Jade would murder me right now, but there's nothing I can do. If you were in my position, what would you do? It's just anger took over me, that's all. Plus, if he would have kept his mouth shut then I wouldn't have never beat the crap out of him. It was his fault for opening his big mouth.

I felt the car stop and I opened my eyes to see we where home. I got out of the car and walked slowly to the front door. Opening the door, I saw Jade's smile fade.

"What happened?" She exclaimed rushing to me, I'm sure she's referring to my cheek. Tori and Cat followed her. She grabbed me by the arm.

"He fought with James." Andre said behind me. I was left speechless. I was suppose to say that.

"So does that mean no pizza?" Cat asked. We all looked at her and she put on her innocent face. I love Cat as a sister but sometimes she can be so clueless.

"ANYWAYS, what the hell happened? As in why the hell did you fight when I wasn't there?" Jade hissed. Tori pushed her aside.

"You're both missing the point! Violence is never the answer! And as much as I love the idea of James getting beat up, I don't think that was the best way to settle things." Tori yelled.

"Yeah, Beck you could have just started a war between you two!" Andre snapped.

"No, you're all missing the point! I did what had to be done!" I shouted at them. We all became irritated and began yelling at each other. Ander, saying I was wrong, Cat about the pizza we didn't have and Jade and I about how what I did was right. Even though I know it wasn't…it just felt right to me.

"ENOUGH!" Tori shouted so loudly I think she popped my ear drum. We all looked at her.

"Look, like it or not Beck and Jade, we all know what he did was wrong. BUT what's done is done. Now can we all just shut up?" Tori said. We all looked at each other.

"ok, fine…I admit I may have gone a bit overboard." I announced.

"A bit? You left him all bloody on the floor!" Andre shouted. I looked down when I heard the girls gasp.

"Beck!" Tori exclaimed. I sighed, crap what did I do. But I'm sure I just scared him. I looked at Jade who looked pissed as hell.

"Next time you'll be there." I reassured her with a smile. She shook her head.

"No, it's just…what if what Andre said was right? What if you only started a bigger war? Beck I'm tired of drama. I have other things to worry about other than you and James."

"See, I told you man." Andre bragged. I shot him a look. Cat and Tori looked concerned.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm just pissed ok!" I yelled at her. She glared at me.

"I'm sorry, Jade…" I begged for her forgiveness. She turned away from me.

"Jade, I screwed up! I'm sorry." I said.

"I don't care! I just don't want anymore fuckin' drama, please!" Jade cried. I looked down. Can I promise her that I did not start something with James?

Before anyone could talk the phone rang.

"I'll get it." Tori said walking to the phone in the kitchen. We all waited for her return.  
"Um, Jade? It's for you." Tori told her. Jade made her way to the phone.

"Who is it?" Cat asked curiously.

"I'm not sure. It sounded like a-" Tori was cut off by Jade.

"You left me and now you want to come back? Well go ahead but I'm not going with you." I heard Jade say before hanging up the phone. Her face was drained. She was shaking with rage.

"Jade, who was that?" I asked worried.

"My dad…he's coming back. He wants to be a family. But I know that's bullshit. He wants my inheritance. I told him he can come back but I'm not leaving with him." Jade explained. I expected her to cry but it really looked like she hated him.

"Wait, what?" Cat asked.

"Cat, my dad left me and now he wants to come back for my money! What part of that don't you get?"

"I'm sorry! I didn't know!" Cat said. That's right, she didn't did she? I mean, Jade told me Cat knew about her rape. So does that mean she has no clue yet?

"It's ok to cry." Tori reassured Jade

"I'm not going to cry over my dad. I loath him…" She added quietly. I wrapped my arm around her. Its one tragic after another, isn't it? I just want this to be over, so in the end I can tell Jade it will be ok. So she will never have anything to worry about ever again.

AN- ok so I finished it. And screw it, if it came out wrong. I like it and I'm not fixing it


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer- I do not own Victorious

AN- ok so this chapter is just about her dad. I had to get rid of that problem and I did. So please read and then review.(:

Sunday morning came around, and it was time for Andre, Beck and Cat to go home. Yes, we all spent the night here in the living room talking about my issues. Apparently I need to learn to distress for the baby's sake. I said I would try but today it'll be impossible. How am I to distress while my father will get here? Regardless of that, what am I to say to him? That his own daughter was rape and she got knocked up by her rapist. Gee, that would be the cherry on the Sunday wouldn't it? No…

Anyways I know how to get rid of him. Remember, he's wanted for stealing my money. Sure I still have cash but hey, I want my inherence. And he will give it to me; I don't care if he wants to be a fuckin' family. Family does not leave each other, no matter if they plan to come back. Things would have been different if he were here. I wouldn't have had to suffer as much. But like Tori said yesterday, what's done is done. There's no going back to the past, I'm happy now. Despite, everything that has happened, I'm happy now. And I plan to stay this way.' I looked at Tori from the other side of the room. She and Cat slept on the couch, how? I don't know but they were both skinny enough to fit without falling off. The guys slept on the floor and I took the other couch.

"Morning." Tori said finally waking up. She rubbed her eyes and sat up yawning.

"Finally you wake up." I commented. She shots me a look of annoyance.

"Where did everyone else go?" She asked looking around.

"Home." I answered in one word. She got up and stretched once more..

"Hey I'm going to take a shower, make breakfast. I'm hungry." I told her getting up and heading for the stairs. She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Make breakfast? Why don't you make it yourself?" She hissed. I looked at her.

"Tori, how self fish of you. Having a pregnant teen cook for herself. You know we pregnant people are so tired of carrying a baby in our stomach." I replied smiling at her.

"Oh come on! You're barely a month in!" Tori shouted as I went up the stairs.

"Sorry can't hear you!" I shouted as I closed the door to my room. I could have sworn I heard her say something back but I just ignored it.

I stripped down and headed to my bathroom. I entered the shower, and let the nice warm water begin to soak me. Ah, so refreshing.

I haven't felt this up going since…well I can't remember but it's been a while. A month and a half have gone by since my rape and I am proud to say I'm over it. Not completely but enough to allow myself to smile again. I will not let him get to me; he will never get the best of me. James Carter, he means nothing to me. I don't fear him; I just have a strong passion of hatred for him now. And yesterday when Beck beat the shit out of him, I felt so happy. He deserved that and much worse to. But I can't help to worry about what Andre said. I mean I don't want anymore drama but I can't blame Beck for it. He was only trying to help…though it's a weird way of helping. But still, I love Beck and everyone else. They've been nothing but kind to me.

It's weird, you know. I would have never liked Andre, Cat and Tori. Actually before all this happened, I hated them and found them annoying. But now it's all better. They're my friends now; they've helped me through a lot.

I got out of the shower and dressed my self in black jeans and a black tank top. As I dressed I heard a car pull up in the drive way. Must be Beck again, I assumed. I brushed my hair straight. Well tried to because my hair is naturally wavy, anyways, I went downstairs to answer the door. There was a distant knock on the door.

"Jade get that! I'm cooking for you." Tori yelled as I ran down the stairs. I went to the door and opened it.

"What do you want?" I asked harshly as I opened the door fully. I heard a pan fall from the background. Tori can be such a cults at time.

"Jade, you look…wonderful." My father stated. I glared at him.

"What do you want?" I questioned him.

"Jade, I need you in my life sweety. I need you to get you're bags and come home with me. Our real home."

"You know the answer to that. I'm not leaving with you. How did you find me anyways?" I asked.

He gave out a small laugh.

"You didn't think I'd leave you alone did you? I had one of my friends keep an eye on you. They said you moved in here. All I did was research and now I found you." He explained. I glared at him. Tears threatening my eyes.

"You have no idea what you put me through! You left me!" I exclaimed. I could hear Tori's foot pace as she was walking towards me.  
"I know Jade, but it was a mistake. I'm human too you know. I make mistakes."

"No, a father doesn't leave a child! Especially when the mother is dead! You're a psychologist; you should know what kind of damage you've created." I cried, I tried to be strong but I can't.

"Please, Jade, understand that I had to leave in a hurry."

"yeah because you stole my money."

"Is that what this is about? I have the money. I'll give it all back to you."

"Screw the money dad! All I needed was a father, but you weren't there. And neither was mom. You both left me when I needed you the most. Nothing you do can fix that." I shouted at him.

"Jade calm down." Tori said putting a hand on my shoulder.

"No Tori. I will never calm down, he expects me to just go live off with him. Pretending like nothing happened."

"I'm trying to put this all behind." My father spoke up. Tori stepped in front of me, looking at me.

"Think of the baby." She whispered. In that moment I saw my father's eyes grow big.

"What did she just say?" He asked. I felt like slapping Tori in that moment. How stupid is she to know not to talk about that? I looked back at my dad and pushed Tori aside.

"You heard her, daddy." I mocked, "I'm pregnant…and you want to know how I got pregnant?" I asked.

"No, I know how Jade. You slept with that stupid boyfriend of yours didn't you? You are just like you're mother. A stupid slut! Look at you now! You're pregnant!" He exclaimed. I glared at him.

"Don't you ever call my mother a whore! And just so you know this baby isn't Beck's!"

"Than who's baby is it?"

"MY RAPIST!" I yelled. Tori gasped and my father stood silent. I felt tears run down my cheeks, I couldn't control myself. I looked at him. Has he nothing to say now?

"Jade…" Was all he could say? Yeah, not so nice being told off is it?

"You left me when I was raped. And that will never change. I'm getting over it without you're help! And I'm doing just fine! So if you really want to help me, leave!" He was speechless, just like expected him to be. All he did was look at me and then turn around.

"One day you'll regret having me leave." He said softly. I slammed the door angrily. No dad, one day you'll regret letting me go.

I looked at Tori and I cried again. She wrapped her arms around me and I cried into her shoulder.

"This never ends does it?" I asked.

"It will soon…" She said.

AN- ok I'm done. Please please review! (:


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer- I do not own Victorious

AN- well I have not much to say but to read and review! Please!

Chapter 13

Jade's POV

'My dad came over yesterday; he tried convincing me to go with him. But I denied his demand and I watched him walk away. The first man in my life, the one that I once called my father abandon in me, even after he knew what had happened to me. I didn't stop him from leaving me. Why? Simply because I know one day, one sweet day, he'll realize his mistake. He'll realize that leaving a daughter behind was the worst mistake ever. So there he went, out of my life for good. Did I cry? Yes. Why? Because it hurts watching him walk away, even though I try to pretend it doesn't bother me, it does. And it always will bother me. He made me feel worthless, like I wasn't good enough for him. I wasn't not good enough and that kills me. I was too pathetic. Tori tells me differently. She says that it's his fault not mine. That he left because he wanted to not because I wasn't good enough. And I know that…in my mind I know that. But in my heart…I know I drove him away but I wanted him to stay. How pitiable do I sound?'

I felt the tears running down my cheek again. It's Monday morning and I'm crying already. I woke up 20 minutes ago and I smeared my make up all over me. I whipped my tears away and go to the bathroom to wash my make up off. I have to put my make up on all over again. Great. I heard a knock on my door. It's Tori as usual.

" Jade, ready for school?" She asked popping her head through the door.

"Yeah." My voice crack at the end of that one word, I was still a bit upset from what happened with my father.

"OK, meet you downstairs, Trina's giving us a ride." Tori said as she shut the door. I quickly finish my makeup and grab my bag. I head down the stairs when all of the sudden I feel it again. I rush to the living room bathroom and as usual vomit. This is what I hate about being pregnant. Morning sickness gets to me.

"What wrong with her?" I heard Trina ask.

"I don't know." Tori responded. I washed my mouth and came out of the bathroom.

"You alright?" Trina asked me. I nodded. We walked out the door and I saw Tori give me a look that said are-you-ok? But I reassured her.

We drove to school; I laid my head against the seat and closed my eyes as the nice air blew through my hair. 'If only I could feel this way before, so relaxing. It's like I'm floating in mid air. I feel so light.' I felt the car stop and I opened my eyes. We're at school…great.

"OK, out little girls! I got to go park the car." Trina said kicking us out at the curve of the school. I grabbed my bag and climbed out of the car. Tori pulled me to the rest of the gang. I looked around; I had this strange feeling that I was being watched. Could be my father? Nah, he doesn't care about me.

"Jade, are you even listening to me?" Cat asked innocently.

"No." I said so bluntly.

"Why are you so mean to me?" She exclaimed.

"OK! OK! What did you say?" I asked, yes I just did that to shut her up.

"I was saying that we should all go to the movies!" Cat repeated.

I nodded and said, "Yeah sure…"

I felt Beck tug me on my arm I looked at him.

"Are you ok?" He whispered. I looked down.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I felt the entire gang's eye on me. I looked at them.

"Do you mind?" I asked annoyed.

"Oh, I see how it is!" Rex, Robbie's annoying puppet, said. I glared at them and they took the hint and left.

"I'm fine…it's just…my dad came yesterday." I told him

"And what happened? Is he still here?"

"No…he left me." I heard my voice crack in the last part. I saw the tears fill my eyes. But I bit my lip to prevent myself from crying. I will not cry. I won't…

"It's ok." Was all Beck could say, he hugged me and I felt so safe in his arms. But I just couldn't shake that feeling off. The feeling of loneliness, the feeling of sadness and the feeling of emptiness. After all he was my dad and I could never hate him, no matter how much I try to.

"He just left and that will never be ok with me…" I whispered in to Beck's shirt. He smoothed my hair.

"Aw, look at the perfect couple." I heard a voice say. I know that stupid arrogant voice. It belonged to James. We broke apart and glared at him. He had a black eye and that put a smile on my face. He had it from Beck's punch.

"Nice eye." I mocked. He stepped forward and I tensed up but Beck stepped in front of him.

"Got a problem?" Beck threatened. James huffed and glared at me. I looked down. I heard James footpace as he was leaving. Beck turned to me. I continued to stare down.

"He can't hurt you Jade…not as long as I'm here. But I don't get it, why not press charges against him?" Beck asked me. I swallowed hard to prevent tears from escaping my eyes.

"I can't...I couldn't either way. It's too late for all that crap. I have no proof. It's been a month. Beside's it's his word against mine, who do you think will win?" I explained. Beck shook his head.

"Jade you have proof, the baby. It's that bastards."

"Beck, that won't do anything! They'll all just think I'm making it all up! They'll think that I wanted to sleep with him!"

"How do you know that Jade? What if they believe you?

"Yeah, what if…what if they don't? I'll just be making a fool out of myself! I have no evidence!" I yelled. I felt student's eyes stare at me.

"Beck, I can't and I won't. I'll just lose." I lowered my voice.

"Fine…then let that son of a bitch get away with it. What if he does it to another girl? Why don't you stop that before it happens?" Beck questioned. I looked away.

"You will never understand Beck…I have to get to class." I said before walking away.

"Jade!" I heard him call out my name but I walked faster. I ran into the hallways and made my way to my locker. 'I know he's trying to help but can't he see, just looking at James makes me want to cry. I can't press charges, I fear of losing.'

As I turned the hallway, I bumped into someone.

"Watch wher-" I felt myself tense up. James stood there alone.

"So, you told that stupid boyfriend what happened that night didn't you? Let's not forget you asked for it, sweet heart."

"No…I didn't ask for it…" My voice was weak with fear.

"Really? So I just imagined that you came down with me that night? You could have stayed but no, you came with me."

"S-shut up." I stuttered. He's doing it again. He's making me feel worthless…he's trying to blame it all on me again.

"And what are you going to do if I don't?" He mocked me. I felt tears run down my face. He laughed.

"Exactly." He said as he began to walk away. No! This is not going to happen!  
"I'll press charges!" I said as he walked away. I saw him freeze. He turned back to me with his eyes full of anger.

"Oh really? Where's you're evidence? Jade, you're not that smart to go through with this."

"Oh yeah? Well I do have evidence! I have people that saw my bruises, they can testify, I can go to the doctors, you ripped me apart. You destroyed me…oh but let's not forget the biggest evidence." I spoke harshly.

"And what's that?" He asked.

"I'm having you're baby." I told him. His face went pale. And I smirked.

"I'm done letting you control me. This time, we're playing by my rules." I said as I walked away.

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AN_ ok thank you so much to all who reviewed! I feel so happy (:

Please review! Pretty please and remember I accept anonymous reviews too!


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- Ahhh! Can I just be extremely happy right now? SO my story is nominated for the best chaptered fic! Yey! I feel so happy right now. I don't really care if I don't win but I just feel really grateful that its one of the nominees! Yey! Anyways here's chapter 14 (:

Jade's POV

'I'm terrified right now. Is that normal? God, I'm so stupid. Why would I tell him I'm pressing charges when I'm too scared to do it? I mean what if I lose? I'd just make a fool out of myself. But if I do this, I stop the chances that he'll rape anyone else…and I'd finally get closure in my life. Not a day has gone by that I don't think about James or how much I hate him. He raped me and that will never leave my mind. I feel such anger towards him. I have the right to feel anger at him. He fucking took something special from me. Something I was never willing to give to him. It's just so frustrating seeing him smile and laugh, pretending nothing ever happened when something did happen. And while he laughs and smiled I was in pain, I was suffering and he's just making a joke out of this. And all this makes me want to press charges. And you know what? Screw him and the damn high horse he thinks he rode in on. I'm pressing charges, regardless of my fear of losing.' I took a deep breath in and out. I walked to my improv class and saw Beck and Tori talking. I made my way to them.

"Beck, can we talk? There's something I want to tell you." I said. He nodded and I grabbed his hand and led him into the corner of the classroom.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No, nothings wrong. It's just that I thought about what you said earlier. About pressing charges…and I do. I want to press charges." I said looking immediately down.

"Really? That's good. You can put his ass in jail now."

"Beck…what will happen if I lose?"

"At least you tried. And hell, it'll scare him and he'll leave you alone."

"Yeah but what if he…what if he tries to hurt me again? I can't deal with this anymore."

"I won't ever et him hurt you Jade. Anything that happens with you and him, tell me. And I'll teach him not to mess with you." He said with a smile in his face. I gave out a small laugh. But my smile turned into a frown. I looked back down.

"Will you still love me if I lose?" I asked while looking down.

I glanced up at him and I saw his lips turn into a smile. I felt his arms wrap themselves around my waist. I didn't jump, I didn't push him away. I'm over that because I know that Beck would never make me do anything I don't want to do. And I feel safe when I'm with him. For once in my life I will take control of my life.

"So now what?" He asked me. I look into his deep brown eyes.

"I'm tell Tori's father. He's a cop. And from there…well I'm not sure but I'll get a lawyer. I'll do anything." I explained. He nodded.

"Alright class, settle down. Time for class." Sikowitz said as he climbed in through the window. Beck and I took seats next to Cat and Tori. Speaking of Tori, I have to tell her. I have to tell them all.

The lunch bell rang and Andre, Cat, Tori, Robbie, Beck and I went to our usual table. I sat down in between Cat and Beck. Tori sat next to Cat and Andre and then Robbie was sitting next to Andre and Beck.

"So, um, Tor…I have something I want to say." I said in a low voice but I knew they all heard.

"What is it?" Tori asked. Everyone's eyes where on me. I swallowed hard.

"Well…I bumped in to James this morning." I started.

"Oh my god! Did he hurt you?" Cat asked worried.

"Wait why would he hurt Jade?" Robbie asked. I ignored him.

"No, no. he didn't hurt me but I did threaten him…I told him I'd press charges." I trailed off at the end.

"What? Really? That's great." Tori said and Cat clapped her hands in joy.

"Is there something I need to know? I mean why would you press charges? What's going on, guys?" Robbie questioned. We fell into silence. Robbie is the only one who doesn't know. I looked at Beck and Andre. I was giving them a look that said tell him later.

"Oh come on! At least tell me if you don't want to tell the Robbie." Rex commented.

"Sorry Rex, it's a secret. And everyone knows you can't keep a secret." Cat spoke to Rex. We all looked at her. How can she treat that thing as if it were real? Oh well, that's just Cat being Cat.

"We'll have to explain later." Andre said to Robbie.

"Fine!" Robbie exclaimed.

"So ANYWAYS, I was wondering if I could talk to your dad." I talked to Tori as everyone began to eat their food. Tori nodded and swallowed her food.

"Yeah, my parents are coming home today at night. You can tell him then." Tori said. I nodded in agreement. I drank my coffee and pushed my food away. I'm not really hungry today.

"Babe, you have to eat." Beck said pushing my salad back to me. I groaned.

"I'm not hungry." I mumble. He looked at me.

"Yeah you're not but I bet the baby is. You have to eat something. It's not healthy to skip a meal you know?"

"Wait what baby? There's a baby involved now?" Robbie bursted out, I glared at him.

"Robbie! Shut up! Beck and Andre will tell you later but you can not tell anyone. You got it?" I exclaimed.

Robbie nodded. Good, now he's taken care of. Some part of me wants him not to know but I know he'll eventually catch on. Robbie's not the bright but he isn't stupid. He's like Cat in a way. They both aren't that bright but they're not clueless either. It's a wonder why they are not together. I think that they're good for each other and it is a bit obvious that they like each other. But aside from that, I need to eat…for the sake of the baby.

Andre's POV

'So she's finally doing it. She's finally teaching that bastard a lesson. I hope she puts his ass in jail. But I wonder why now? What made her choose now to press charges? Is it because she's tired of feeling vulnerable? I don't know what it is but I'm just glad she's doing it. Now, what with her wanting to tell Robbie? I mean no offense but I would have never guessed Jade would want Robbie to know something like this. Though he would catch on eventually.' I sat in my seat thinking about all the drama that has been going on when the bells rings or dismissal.

"Aright class, remember to do you're project." Mrs. Jacobs said as students went out the door. I walked over to Beck's locker.

"So you want to tell Robbie or should I?" I asked Beck as I leaned against the lockers besides him. He shuts the locker and stands next to me.

"You tell him. I promised Jade and Tori I'd give them a ride home." He said. I nodded and gave a pat on Becks shoulder before I walked over to Robbie's locker.

"Yo, Robbie. We got to talk, man." I said as I walked over to him. He was putting his books into the locker.

"What's up?"

"It's about Jade." I told him

"You mean the wicked which of the west?" Rex asked jokingly. I raised and eyebrow at Robbie.

"Seriously man? But that thing away. This is serious chiz." I said as Robbie nodded and put the puppet away.

"No!" Rex shouted as Robbie stuffed him into his bag. I shook my head. How does Robbie manage to deal with that thing?

"So what about Jade? Oh, and what's with her and James Carter?"

"Well…James, he uh, he raped Jade…" My voice faded as I looked down. I glanced at Robbie whose face expression was deep in thought. He was shocked…that's to be expected.

"And now she's pregnant with his kid…" I finished. Robbie's expression had not changed.

"So all this time…she's been suffering alone hasn't she?"

"Yeah, her mom died shortly after her rape and her dad left her…" I told him. I saw such sadness in his eyes. He pitted her, like I did. I felt sorry for Jade; she is going through a lot. Her mother's death has scarred her. Her dad's abandonment has left her empty. And her rape has left her traumatized.

"And now she's pressing charges right?" Robbie asked quietly. I nodded. He pressed himself against the lockers and slid down. The students had cleared the halls and gone home. I sat down next to him.

"I know Jade and I aren't really good friends but I mean…this is just unbelievable. I just want to hug her now. And tell her I'm there for her, you know?"  
"Yeah…that's how I felt. That's how we all felt." I said. We sat there just starring off into the emptiness of the hall.

AN- ok so I'm done now. Please review (: if it's possible I would like to get up to 80 reviews. Good one not critical ones.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer- sorry I took so long to write this. I had er have a major writers block and I can't seem to get over it. So here it is, I honestly tried so hard to get it write. Don't judge this is all I could do with writers block.

Jade's POV

'Have you ever felt this way? So scared…terrified of being judged by others? This is how I feel right now. Sitting here with parents that aren't mine, they're waiting for me to speak. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. I can't tell them, what if they get mad? Or worse, what if they kick me out of their home? With such doubt I can not find a way to tell them I was r-raped.' I look over at Tori who's waiting for me to say it. I look at Tori's parents. They have a concerned look on their face.

"There's something Jade wants to say but it…it's not easy to say it." Tori said to them. I looked down at the floor.

"What is it?" Her mother spoke.

It hurts inside of me to speak of it. I'm scared…telling them isn't easy. They're Tori's parents for god's sake. I looked at them again with tears in my eyes. And I didn't see them, instead I saw my mom and dad sitting there. My mom…how beautiful she looked and my dad…

This is how it would have felt like telling my parents. If only they were here but no. Mom's dead and I never said good bye. Dad's gone, he walked away like a coward. I stared a bit longer at my parents. But they leave and in came Tori's parents. I shed a tear; I felt it run down my cheek.

"Jade, what's wrong? You're scaring me." Mrs. Vega said. She's too kind to me. She's my mother figure in my life.

"It's just…please don't get mad." I said softly. I refused to look at her any longer and my eyes wondered with tears to the floor.

"Tori what's happened?" Mr. Vega stepped in. I glanced at Tori who had her eyes on me.

"You can do it Jade." She whispered to me. I nodded. I whipped away my tears. Here I go.

"I-I was…I was," I took a deep breath, "I was r-raped…" I admitted. I hear a gasp and then silence fell upon us. I didn't dare to life my eyes up at her. Then suddenly I felt arms wrap around me.

"Its ok." I heard. Mrs. Vega had her arms around me. Mom, would you have wrapped your arms around me the way she has? I cried into her shoulder and held her tight.

"Please don't be mad…" I said between sobs. She pulled away, and looked at me, tears in her eyes.

"Oh sweetie, no. I would never be mad." She comforted me. Her hand on my cheek as she kneeled on the floor. I looked at Tori who smiled at me.

"I know you're not our daughter but you seem like one." Mr. Vega said.

I felt my heart get warm. Mom, are you looking down at me and thinking I did the right thing? Or do you hate me for becoming a daughter figure to the Vega's? I whipped my tears away.

"Do you want to press charges?" Mr. Vega asked me. I hesitated but nodded slowly.

"Jade, pressing charges is never easy but we're going to have to ask you many personal questions. I'll report the crime. Then I'll take you down to answer some questions." He explained.

I closed my eyes and nodded before opening my eyes again. I took a deep breath in and out. This is it, it's happening. I'm going to fight for justice. I'm going to fight and I'm not going to lose…

Mr. Vega is making the call that will start this war. Mrs. Vega smiled at me and went to the kitchen to make me coffee. I looked at Tori who smiled at me kindly.

"I said you could tell them. And you did. I'm proud of you." Tori told me. I smiled at her. How is it that we started out as enemies and now we're best friends. But my victory isn't over yet…

"They took this well but…how will they take the pregnancy?" I asked softly. Tori fell silent as her mother walked to us with a cup of coffee for me.

"Jade, I know it was hard for you to tell me but did it and I'm proud of you. I know your mother would be too." Mrs. Vega said. I swallowed hard and exchanged looks with Tori.

"What's with those look a girl's? There's not more to this story is there- oh god! Tori please tell me the bastard did not touch you too!" She exclaimed looking at her daughter with fear. Tori shook her head fiercely.

"I-it has to do with me." I said, my voice shaking.

"What happened…it had consequences…I-I'm p-pregnant." I stuttered. My body was shaking. I heard the crash the cup made when it fell to the ground.

"W-what?" Mrs. Vega's voice was uneasy. I heard panic in her voice.

"…" I wanted to say something but I was speechless. I couldn't do anything.

"Jade…" Was what she managed to say. Noticing her expression, Mr. Vega rushed to her.

"Honey what happened."

"Hurry and press charges now! That bastard won't get away with it!" She exclaimed. Mr. Vega looked at us.

"Jade' pregnant dad…" Tori said. I began to cry again. Tori put her arm on me. It's painful…I'm pregnant and it will never change.

"I…Jade how far a long are you?" Mrs. Vega asked.

"About a month…I'm in early."

"Ok, well first thing is we're going to have to get you checked out by a doctor." Mrs. Vega said. I nodded. I sighed. We sat there in pure silence.

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I laid on my bed with Tori and Cat. After what happened this after noon, Mr. and Mrs. Vega went to the police station to report it. Tori called Cat to come over. We sat in my room quietly.

"So you're going through with it?" Cat asked.

"Yeah…" I answered. Silence fell upon us again. Its weird, I feel alone. Even though Tori's here and Cat, I still feel so alone. I feel empty. It's like I can't feel anything but emptiness. I have no emotion. I'm not scared, I'm not sad, I'm not happy…I'm just…empty? I'm not sure how I feel. I just don't feel the same. Its like there's something missing. There's a hole in my heart that wasn't there before. Maybe its my mother. I mean I never accepted the fact that she away gone until now. I'm finally letting go of the hope that one day she'll come back. She's gone…and I'll never see her again. Its been a while since I stopped to think of her. Since her death I've never thought about her until now.

"Jade, can I ask you something?" Tori asked.

"What?"  
"When the baby's born…what are you going to do?" She asked. I sat up and looked at her.

"I…I don't know. I have my mother's inherence money so that will take care of the money issue. But the baby…I don't know."

"I can help take care of it!" Cat said excited. I smiled at her.

"Cat, how do you know how to take care of a baby?"

"I've taken care of my little brother before."

"It's not them same Cat, you're brother is 10. He's not a baby." I explained. She looked down sadly.

"But don't worry, you can still play with her." I said.

"Her? "Tori questioned.

"Huh?"

"You just said her. So you want it to be a girl." Tori asked me.

"No…well yeah I guess. I mean it'd be nice to have a girl but I don't really care."

"Oh! Can I be the aunt?" Cat said.

"Sure why not?" I said and watched Cat get all happy. Cat's like a little child. Its amazing how she can keep a smile on her face at time. Though sometimes I think it's fake, I can never tell.

I feel my phone vibrate. It's blocked, but I answer.

"Hello?" I said. I heard nothing in the other side.

"Who is this?" I asked

"You will lose this fight West. Give up now." That voice…James.

"No, you will lose! I'm never giving up until you're put behind bars." I shouted. Cat and Tori stared at me.

"No Jade. I'm warning you, do anything and you'll pay. I have my ways. No one will believe a slut. Just give up."

"Never, I'm pressing charges and you will never get to me ever again."

"Keep saying that but you don't mean it. Words are words, but I will take action. Look Jade, you're weak and frankly you'll break under pressure. You'll never be as powerful as you want to be. You are so pathetic trying to put me in jail. Ha! Go right ahead, I'd like to see you try. Jade, you're not smart enough to win. You are and will always be weak." He said and he hung up. Just like that his voice banished. I through the phone across the room with anger.

"Who was it?" Tori asked.

"James! He threatened me! He I was weak!" I shouted.

"Maybe…maybe I should just stop fighting. James is stronger then me." I said softer.

"No! Jade that's what he want you to think! He's trying to control you but don't let him! You're stronger then him. He's just talk. He's trying to scare you out of this." Cat said. I felt tears fall down my face.

"I can't Cat…he's right. I should just quit."

"Jade! No, come on, you're not going to let him win are you?"

"Cat you don't understand,"

"No Jade, you don't understand. He's trying to get you to quit because he's scared you'll win which you will." Cat said. I looked down.

"Don't let him win…please." Cat whispered as she hugged me. Tori held my hand.  
"Cat's right, Jade. You can't let that bastard get away with this."

"But…what if I don't win?" I asked.

"Stop it with the "what if", you will win. Trust me." Tori said. I sighed and whipped off my tears.

"Its just, how can James keep doing this?"

"He's a bastard. Don't listen to him." Said Cat. I nodded and rested my head on my pillow. I'm going to win…right?

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AN- this is all I wrote. Please review! And I hoped you enjoyed it! (:


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer- I do not own Victorious

AN- So sorry it took me a LONG time to write this, I've been stuck on writers block and I've been way too busy to write. So sorry but please read and review And i apologize if its not...good. I am not fully over my writes block :/

She use to be so confident in everything she did. She would take pride in everything she did. Regardless of what everyone else said she knew she would out shine everyone. She had courage. But where has all the courage gone? She can't seem to find it anymore. When told her that she was due to her trial in a week, she lost all courage to even go through with it. She had no faith in what she was doing. For once in her life, she was not so confident. She had doubts. She wasn't so sure if she would be able to out shine him. To put him in jail for once and give him what he deserves. She's scared, down right scared and its seems she can't rid of that fear. Beck, Tori, Cat, Andre, Robbie and even Tori's parents keep telling her she's going to win. Oh sure, they can all be so confident but she can't be. They didn't go through what she did. They were not pined down to the ground while someone ripped them apart. They are not going to feel what she feels. So tell her all they want but they will not understand how she feels right now. Mr. Vega probably told her the most terrifying thing yet. He told her that if she wanted to win, she was going to have to tell every little detail of that night. She would have to tell them how she was thrown to the ground so viciously. How he stumbled on top of her that night. How she went to that party with him regardless of the fact that she had a boyfriend at the time. How she agreed to go into the woods with him. How she knew she could have said no but she didn't, instead she took his hand and followed him to the woods. She would have to say all that and all the small details in between. What's worse is that everyone was going to be there. Tori and her parents, maybe even Trina, and Beck. Her boyfriend, the one person that she loves, is going to have to listen to all those horrible details. He's going to have to listen to everything and how she's pregnant. Pregnant with someone else's child.

"Jade?" A distant voice pulled her out of her thoughts. Jade sat up on her bed and looked towards the voice. Tori stood at the edge of her bed.

"Hey." Jade said as Tori took as seat on her bed.

"I know my dad came to talk to you. And Trina finally found out was going on through my mom. I was just wondering if you were alright? I know this is pretty stressful for you."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I don't really mind that your mom told Trina. I knew she would figure it out on her own anyways. She's not that stupid."

"Well I actually meant about what my dad told you. Have you thought of what you are going to say?"

"No, I don't even know what to say. Tori, I can't do this! What am I suppose to say? That I went to the party with him and drank beer and then willingly followed him in to the woods to see a damn lake that I knew really wasn't there!" Jade yelled. Tori only looked down. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"You said no, didn't you? You said no and he didn't listen to you! You can't let him get away with that!" Tori yelled back.

"But who's going to believe me? Where am I going to get the proof?" Jade asked softly.

"I believe you. And there's something called a doctor, eye witnesses and you're having his child. Jade, you have to believe that you will win." Tori said to her. Jade was shaking. She has to at least try to believe that she will win. If not, then there's no point in doing this now is there? Why would she go through with something that she's terrified of and not even believe that she can't win. It's pointless.

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Tori's POV

I walked downstairs after having my talk with Jade. I know she's terrified and stressed out. You can just see it in her eyes. And it makes me feel bad. I want to help her so badly, if only I knew how. But what worries me most, is the baby. She can't keep stressing out like this. She needs to relax. But the more I tell her to relax, the more she stresses. All I want is for her to be calm and to wait until the trial. Because god knows that she will be nervous as hell in her day of trial. The more stress she gets, the bigger the chances will be in it effecting the baby.

I got pulled away by my phone vibrating. It's Andre. I'm surprised it's not Cat. She's always calling me to see if Jade's ok. It's just like Cat to worry for everyone else.

"Hey." I said smiling through the phone. I'm not sure why but speaking to Andre makes me feels a lot better.

"Hey there Tori." He said through the other end of the line.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Oh nothing. I just got bored…and I'm not sure why but I got the sense that you were stressed out a bit." He said.

"I swear Andre, how do you always know what's going on with me?" I laughed. But it's true. He always has a way of figuring me out. It's like I'm his puzzle and he always figures me out.

"It's just intuition...that and Jade text-ed me. Apparently you two talked and when you left she said that you looked worried."

"Oh, no wonder."

"So what's wrong?" He asked. I sighed.

"Nothing I can't handle." I said proudly.

"Ah, see that's your problem Miss Vega." He told me. I raised an eyebrow, not that he can see.

"What are you talking about Mr. Harris?" I questioned.

"You always think you can handle things on your own. But that's going to explode in your face one day. Look, be read in about 10 minutes."

"What? Why?"

"I'm picking you up and we're going for ice cream. You need some distressing." He said. I didn't even get a moment to protest because he hung up. How dare he just leave me speechless on the phone! But maybe hanging out with him isn't going to be such a bad idea. I mean ever since this whole thing that happened, I never really get to hang out anymore. I'm too busy being there for Jade. I'm not complaining, I would never complain, but getting to distress sounds…fun.

I sighed as I went back up stairs to Jade's room. I didn't bother knocking and just went in.

"You told Andre? Seriously?" I asked standing in her door way. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Look, you just need to stop stressing. Take some time to relax." She said, I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I will. But you should take your own advice and RELAX." I said. Hell, if she's going to tell me to relax then she should do it too.

"It's easier said than done." She grinned. Once again I rolled my eyes and walked out of her room. She's can be such a hypocrite sometimes.

I went to my room and got ready. I tossed on some jeans and a white shirt…err, maybe I should changed it to a black shirt. If I'm going to eat ice cream then I don't want to risk getting a stain on a perfectly nice white shirt.

I walked downstairs yet another time and hurried to put my shoes on as I heard Andre honking his horn. I practically ran to the car. He smiled as I jumped into his car.

"Hey there." I said smiling. He pulled out of the drive way.

"So, ready for some distressing?" He asked as he drove to Dairy King. I sighed loudly.

"Yes. I want to but I'm not so sure it'll happen. I mean Jade-"

"Come on! You have got to quit worrying about her. I know we're all worried but if you keep trying to help her, you only stress her and yourself out even more. Right now she needs to worry about herself. As should you."

"I know! But its hard when she's all depressed looking. And I can't help it if I worry!" I protested.

"I know we all are worried. But you are like all up in her case. That's the whole reason she called me. You keep smothering her. She needs to figure things out at her pace. Let her breathe, and let your self breathe too. And of course she's going to be all depressed looking after…what she's been through." We fell quiet for a second. Rape in general is horrible but when you actually have a friend that has gone through that, it makes you hurt a bit too. I sighed, well what is it with me and all this sighing?

"You're right. So lets just get me some ice cream!" I cheered. We parked and got out of the car. We walked into Dairy King and ordered our ice cream. I got my banana split and Andre got his ice cream Sunday. My eyes widen when I saw my delicious ice cream coming towards me.

"Mhm! My ice cream's here!" I said happily as the lady handed me my banana split. Andre chuckled as he got his.

"Somebody's eager for her ice cream." He said as we picked a booth and sat in it.

"Yes, I haven't had a banana split in such a long time!" I said. We ate our ice cream slowly. It was just silence between us. He looked so cute when he's eating his ice cream like that. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Did I just say warm and fuzzy? I'm sounding like Cat more each day.

I laughed at the thought of me becoming Cat. Me…Cat…ha! I laughed loudly and looked at Andre. He's looking at me like I'm crazy.

"Why are you suddenly laughing?" He asked with a small laugh. I shook my head and stopped laughing.

"I just thought of me becoming Cat and how I would be all happy and cheerful. And would be wearing all theses shinning colorful clothes. And I would be so bipolar." I ranted on and on about that while Andre just looked at me confused.

"How exactly did you think of becoming Cat?" He asked. I opened my mouth to tell him that I thought of it while admiring him. But that would be weird. So I just shrugged.

"So…Jade's trails in a week. Beck's going. Are you?" I asked, I can't help it if I start talking about her.

"Um, I don't think its such a good idea for me to go. I mean, its hard enough as it is having to go to trail but having your friends listening to every detail…its intimidating. And she probably doesn't want us hearing the small details of that night." He explained. I nodded. He's right though. I mean, if I had to do that, I wouldn't want my friends anywhere near that place.

"Ander, how do you always have the right answers?" I asked softly. He shrugged and grinned.

"I don't know. Must be because I'm such a smart person." He bragged.

"Yup, you are smart."

"And handsome, lets not forget that part too." He smirked. I rolled my eyes. But he, once again, is right. He has brains and beauty. I felt my self turn red.

"So…now what?" I asked having finished my very delicious and creamy ice cream. He shrugged.

"No sure, we else do you want to go?" He questioned.

"Any where's fine with me." I flirted. He smiled at me and grabbed my hand. He leaned closer to me and for a moment I though he was going to kiss me. But he just whispered in my ear that I had ice cream on my upper lips. I felt my entire face go red as I quickly whipped it away. He laughed, must he enjoy my embarrassment.

We decided to go back to my house and watch a movie or something. As we walked to the car, out of the corner of me eye, I saw James and his posy. I groaned. I guess Andre must have noticed what I was groaning about because he groaned too.

"Look at him! He's laughing and joking around with his friends! Not even feeling one bit of guilt! God, he's such a cold hearted demon." I told Andre as we looked at him. We must have starred to long because James looked right at us. I glared at him and he smirked. He walked over to us, leaving his friends behind.

"So, where's your little friend, Jade I believe?" He asked mockingly. I felt the anger begin to rise. Andre grabbed my hand and began to pull me away.

"Yeah, teach her to keep her dirty eyes away from me, Andre." He said. Andre stopped pulling me and turned around. He glared at him.

"What did you say?" He asked angrily. I swallowed hard and looked at Andre.

"Teach your stupid girlfriend to keep her eyes off me. I know I'm tempting but I'm taken. My girlfriend, Jessica", he pointed at her who was standing with his friends, "Yeah, she doesn't like it when other girls rape me with their eyes. So Vega, keep your raping eyes to yourself." He said. I couldn't keep quiet.

"Rape? Please, I was not the one who raped you! You raped Jade! You destroyed her! You are just a cold hearted bastard! And I hope your put in jail for the rest of your life! I hope you rot in hell for what you did! You RAPED her!" I yelled. His eyes grew wild.

"Shut up!" He said quietly.

"Why? So your stupid girlfriend doesn't hear what I said! So you can pretend that you did nothing wrong!" I shouted. I felt all eye on me and small whispers from passing costumers. James glared at me.

"I'm not afraid of you, James. And you should tell your girlfriend the truth. Before I tell her for you." I threatened. With that, I grabbed Andre and pulled him into the car. We sat in the car for a while as we watched James wrap his arm around his girlfriend waist and puller her away.

"Tori…" Was all Andre could say. I know, it was unlike me to just yell. But he…god! He gets me so mad!

"Tori, that was…" I cut him off.

"I know! It was stupid of me to have yelled at him and to have told him off! It's just he…he pissed me off!" I exclaimed. Andre shook his head.

"No, that was amazing." He said. I turned my head to him, he was starring at me. I smiled as he drove me home. We decided it was best if we just saw each other at school on Monday, I can wait until tomorrow.

He pulled into my drive way.

"Thanks, Andre. For today." I said looking into his eyes. He smiled.

"Yeah…it would have been better if stupid James didn't show up." He complained, glaring at the air as he said James name.

"But…I think that's what I needed. I needed to see James's face. I needed to tell him off, to get rid of the anger." I said softly. Come to think of it, I do feel better. Like a giant weight has been lifted up. I needed to take me anger out on him. Andre was right, I did explode. But it was good.

I focused back on Andre who was smiling at me. This is what I need…

I leaned towards him and hugged him. I wanted so badly to press my lips against his but no. Not now. I said good bye and walked to my house. I opened the door to see nothing has changed. My parents where off at work. Trina was over at her "friend's" house. And Jade…well I'm guessing she's upstairs. I walked to her room, to check up on her. When I saw her she was sleeping in her bed. I smiled. I felt thankful that she called Andre. It was what I needed.

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OK so I didn't intend for it to be all about Tori…it just sort of came out. But I thought that since she's been so involved with Jade that she deserved to have her own chapter. I'm sorry if it wasn't good...it most likely wasn't good but i tried :/

And I will try really really really hard to update! But until then, I would be very VERY happy if you reviewed. And thanks to all who do review and like this story. It makes me really happy (: thanks!

Love

-FallenDarkAngel2

I less than three you all 3 – that's a heart


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- I know I haven't uploaded in a long time and I apologize! My computer broke and I had it fixed. But in the mean time, I wrote on my journal! And I tried to make this really long.

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Jade's POV

Ever woken up with such anger in you heart that it hurts? Well I have and I don't know why but I have this empty feeling inside of me. Its just an empty space that keeps getting bigger and bigger every day. And that empty space is filling up with anger and hatred. All my anger and hatred keeps rising up and all I want to do is scream my lungs out. Scream until my throat burns and I'm coughing up blood. Everyone that comes near me just angers me. I can't tolerate them anymore, not like before. Just seeing them pisses me off, their all happy and smiling. It makes me sick. I get even more sick when I look at the mirror and see my reflection. I look pathetic and worthless. I make it so easy for anyone to touch me, don't I? That's why James raped me, because I made it fucking easy for him. I deserved it, didn't I? I asked for it...and that angers me. I was so, so stupid. Then the sudden rush of anger comes into me again. And I have to bite my lip to stop me from screaming out in frustration. It's to the point where I want to grab the god damn scissors and slit my wrist. But I won't, I will not let my anger take over me...not yet at least. Just let me fight what ever is making me like this. Let me at least try to overcome it.

"Jade, are you ready?" I heard a voice say. I shot a look towards the bedroom door. There she is, Tori Vega. Must be fun to be her, her life is oh so perfect. She has a great family, amazing friends, she's talented and pretty. And it sickens me. Then I feel guilty because she's helped me so much. I should be thanking her but something inside of me wants to hate her. I envy her...

"Jade?" She said, I focused back on her.

"I'm going." I said a bit rough than I meant it to be. She looked taken back but she just smiled and nodded. I followed her down the stairs and into her car.

"I can't believe its the last day of school! I so can't wait until next year! I am so making senior year all about me. And I'll get the lead in every play!" Trina exclaimed. Even she has something to look forward to. All I want to look forward to is death. Wow, I'm becoming more depressed. I thought I was over this stage. I was finally getting back on my feet, I was going to get James in jail...whoa did I just say was? No, I am going to...I will put him in jail. I'm sounding more pessimistic. But if anyone wanted me to be happy go lucky, then they would have to teach me to be happy after getting abused. But if no one can teach me how to, then they shouldn't expect anything from me.

I felt the car stop and looked around. Hollywood Arts, what a nice school it would be if it did not have a rapist as a student. I hesitated before getting out of the car. I walked as fast as I could into the building. I didn't bother waiting for Tori. I just needed to get to class and stay away from all those smiling faces from students who were overly excited that school was going to end. I didn't lurk around in the hallways so I wouldn't risk bumping into James.

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. Tori's POV

Jade hasn't even looked at me at all today. And when she spoke to me, her words were so dull and empty. Before I even turned off the car, she practically ran away.

"What's wrong with her?" Trina asked as we were getting out of the car.

"I don't know...maybe its her hormones." I mumbled, starring at the direction that she took off in.

"Well, word of advice, don't smoother her. Give her space." She said. I looked at her.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly.

"Every time something is wrong with her, you get all worried. And then you start asking her about her problems. You don't let her breathe. Don't worry to much, ok?" She told me before smiling and taking off. It's funny though, one, that was actually good advice coming from Trina. And also that's what Andre told me yesterday. He said to let her breathe. Am I really smothering her? I don't mean to, I just worry. Is that so bad?

I grabbed my bad and walked to the school. I kept looking around for any signs of Jade but I got none. All I saw was students laughing and talking and singing or dancing. Typical things like always. Looking defeated I went to my locker and began to put books away.

"Hey there, Tori" Andre said, suddenly appearing and leaning next to my locker. I groaned and shut it close.

"Someone's in a grouchy mood today. What's wrong?" He asked with a small laugh.

"Jade's acting all strange and moody. She looks all angry and I swear when she walked passed me I got a sudden rush of chills up my spine." I explained.

"She was always like that before what happened to her. Maybe its a sign that she's getting back to being herself again."

"No, I don't think so. She...i saw hatred in her eyes. When she looked at me, I saw nothing but anger and hatred in her eyes. This is something beyond herself." I said trying to convince him something was wrong.

"Well you know, she is stressed out. I mean, she has her trail coming up in 5 days. She's probably scared and nervous." He told me. I looked down and then back at him.

"I guess..." I spoke softly.

"Its either that or its her hormones. She is pregnant you know. And when girls get knocked up they get all moody and start PMSing for like nine months." He said jokingly. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Really Andre? I went to health class too, I know how it works. But I still don't think that's it." I protested.

"Just don't read too much into it." He said. I was about to begin to protest again but the bell rang. I waved him good bye and I went to class. Just as I was about to enter my class, I caught of glimpse of Jade. Or at least I think it was Jade. I just saw a dark shadow turn the corner. The only person who wears all black is Jade, maybe I should go check it out. Just to make sure. Wait, no! I can't, Andre and Trina told me not to smother her so I won't.

I shook my thoughts away and went to class. I smiled as I walked up to Cat and Beck.

"Hey guys." I greeted. They turned to me and smiled.

"Hey, I didn't see you this morning!" Cat said.

"Yeah, I didn't get to see you wither." Beck said.

"Oh, sorry we came her only a couple minuted before the bell. I talked to Andre though but then the bell rang. And now I'm here." I told them.

"Oh, so how's Jade?" Beck asked. I swallowed hard. Should I tell him what I think about her? But I don't want to stress him out. But then again he is her boyfriend so he should probably know. Ugh! This is too confusing!

"Tori?" He said bringing me back from my thoughts.

"Oh right. Um, she's fine. We didn't talk much, she went to class." I lied. We partly lied. Its true that we didn't talk and she might have gone to class, not sure. But regardless of what Andre said, she is not fine. He was going to speak again but Mr. Thapar entered the classroom. So we all got in out seats and the lesson began. He just talked about how we should all study over summer break. But no one could care less about that. And he knew we didn't care so he let us do what ever we wanted to do. It was the last day of school anyways so we won't learn anything. I sort of did wish for him to teach, that way I wouldn't be able to talk to Beck.

"So, I was thinking that we should all go get ice-cream after school! You know, to celebrate school ending!" Cat cheered. Her eyes sparkled in the light. She gets over excited with sweets.

"Yeah, sounds good. I'll text Jade and ask her." Beck said taking out his phone. I heard his fingers clicking the buttons on his phone.

"I'll ask Andre." I told her as I, too, got out my phone and began to text him.

"Ok! And I'll text Robbie." Cat said happily. I nodded and looked at my phone

To: Andre

Hey wanna get ice cream w/ me, n the gang?

I looked back up at them. And then my phone vibrated.

To: Tori

Sure. Meet u after skool

I smiled and shut my phone.

"Andre said yes." I told them.

"So did Robbie and Rex." Cat spoke. We looked at Beck.

"I don't know, Jade hasn't replied yet." He said a bit worried. That's weird, she always replies to him immediately. I looked away, maybe there is something wrong with her. When I looked back at them, their eyes were glued to me.

"W-what?" I asked nervously. Beck eyed me suspiciously.

"What do you know?" He asked. I swallowed hard.

"Nothing. I don't know anything." I replied.

"Yes you do, you always know what's going on. Like that one time, where I asked you where Jade was. You said you didn't know yet you did know where she was." He said. Um...what do I say to that?

"She probably hasn't replied because she doesn't have her phone." I lied. Good one, right?

"She left it uncharged yesterday and it died on her. She probably left it at home charging." I added. Ok so I lied but I..i don't know! I just don't want to worry him. And I know that if I do then he'll go after Jade and she'll get even more stressed out and it would all be my fault!

I heard him sigh.

"Fine, I have her next period anyways, I'll just ask her then." He said. I smiled.

"So, what now? I'm getting bored." I said.

"Oh! One time when I got bored I started singing really loudly. So loud that I broke my mom's vase and she got really angry at me. But then it turned out that I didn't break it and that it was my brother who throw a ball at it and made it tip over and break. So now when I get bored, I don't sing. I hum instead." She explained her story with a smile on her face. Beck and I exchanged looks. There is something odd about Cat but its that oddness that makes her lovable.

We spent most of the time talking about random stuff and time went by. Soon the bell rang and we went to our next class.

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. Tori's POV

I had second period with Andre and Robbie. And again, our teacher let us just hang out and talk.

"So what ice cream parlor are we going to?" Robbie asked.

"Not sure, I think we're going to Ice- Cream Plaza. The one next to the bakery shop. Cat likes that one because they also sell red velvet cupcakes." I explained. I felt my hip vibrate. Its Beck, wonder what he wants.

To Tori: Can't find Jade where is she?

I held my breath for a second and then exhaled. Crap...

"You ok?" Andre said, I looked at them and they were staring at me."

"Who is it?" Robbie asked.

"I-I'm fine. Its Beck, he just wants to know where Jade is." I admitted. I focused back on the phone and pressed reply.

To Beck:

Don't know srry. I dropped her off skool. Haven't seen her

I shut the phone and put it away. Where could she have possibly gone?

"Why the worried look on your face?" Robbie asked.

"It's nothing. Its just that Jade isn't in class with Beck. I-I just don't know where she is, that's all." I told them. My pocket vibrated, it's Beck again.

To Tori:

she won't pick up her cell. R u sure u don't know where she is?

To Beck:

I'm sorry but I really don't. I'll try txtin her

I searched for her number and sent her a quick text asking where she was. As I pressed the send button, my phone got snatched away.

"You're still in school, Ms. Vega, and that means no phones!" My teacher yelled as she walked away with my phone. I groaned. I need it! What if they reply!

"Looks like the evil mistress took her prey!" Rex said. I glared at him...it.

"Don't worry, you can see Beck in class next period. You can talk to him then." Andre responded sounding a bit sad.

"I know! But he really needs me right now! And I really need to talk to him!" I complained. I looked at Andre, he looked down. Did I say something wrong? The rest of the period was spent with Rex and Robbie talking. I kept on looking at Andre. What did I say?

The bell finally rang after a long and boring class. I ran up to my teacher and she gave me back my phone. She was going to give me a "talk" about using a phone in school but I snatched it and I walked as fast as I could to get to class. I forgot about Andre, he's also in this class with me. As I walked into the class room, I spotted Beck sitting on a desk and texting. I sighed in relief as I walked up to him.

"So, she responded?" I asked as I took a seat next to him. He looked up at me and shook his head.

"I'm sending her another text message. She won't respond to any of my messages. I tried calling her and it only rang once before going straight to voice mail. She keeps ignoring my calls." He explained. I sighed, I don't know what to do. The bell rang and class began. But like the rest of my classed we did nothing. I glanced the room for Andre and I saw him talking to Melissa. I frowned a bit.

"Don't worry, he doesn't like her." Beck suddenly said. I jumped slightly when he spoke. I looked at him.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. He chuckled.

"I saw the way you glared at Melissa. But I can tell you that he does not like her at all. He likes...someone else." He said. Is that suppose to be a hint?

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." I replied. He rolled his eyes and playfully patted my head.

Then he looked at his phone and he frowned. Still no reply.

"What about, we go to my house and look for her there? She always goes home when she doesn't want to be here." I suggested.

"Sure, we can go right after class ends." He agreed. I nodded. I have a bad feeling in my gut but I just wish everything to be alright. This isn't like Jade at all. She was doing so well and now she's breaking again. But if she does break, I'm here to pick up the pieces. And Becks here to put the pieces back together. I know, we were never good friends but ever since I found out what happened, we've become close. And I want to be there for her. She needs someone to lean on right now, and I want to be that person. I want her to know that I'm here for her. Ha, it sounds like I'm in love with her. But no, that's Beck's job. I'm just here to be her friend.

"Tori." Beck said. I looked at him.

"Oh, right, sorry." I said to him. But I was too distracted to actually pay attention.

"Your hip keeps vibrating." He said. I took out my phone. It was a text message from Jade.

To Tori: LEAVE ME ALONE

I looked at the phone for a long time in disbelief.

"Who is it?" He asked. I looked at the phone then at him. He should know...

With all my will power, I showed him the phone. I heard him sigh and he gave me back the phone. I wanted to say something but I had nothing to say.

"Beck..." I began. But nothing else came out.

"I need to talk to her." He whispered. I nodded.

"I think she's at home. We'll go right after class." I told him.

"Go where?" A voice from behind us asked. We turned around and saw Andre standing there.

"Oh, um, we're going to my house." I said. He looked at Beck.

"What about Jade?" He asked looking directly at Beck.

"We're going there to see her. She's at home. She left early." Beck explained.

"Oh..." Was all Andre said.

"You can come if you want." I offered but he shook his head.

"Nah, I need to talk to Robbie." He said. I smiled and nodded. I looked at the clock and saw it was only a minute till the bell r- oh wait. There it is. The bell just rang.

I grabbed my bag and walked with Beck through the crowded hallways. As I turned the corner, I bumped into Cat.

"Oh, sorry Cat!" I apologized.

"Where are you going? Sikowitz class is that way." She said.

"Um, we're going to my house...to look for Jade." I explained.

"Why? What's wrong with her?" She asked worried.

"Look Cat, we really need to go." I told her.

"Can I come?" She asked. I hesitated but nodded. We ran to my car before any teacher could see us.

I started the car and drove off.

"So can you tell me now? What's wrong with Jade?" Cat asked from the backseat.

"Beck, tell her. I'm driving!" I said as I kept my eyes on the road.

"Jade is acting all strange. She didn't show up to class and she won't reply my texts. She ignores my calls and she sent a text to Tori telling her to leave her alone." He explained.

"We're just going to make sure she's ok." I said.

"So she told you she was at home?" Cat asked.

"No, we're just assuming. She usually comes home when she's not at school." I replied. IN less than 5 minutes we were at my house. I parked the car in the drive way...wait!

"She's not her." I suddenly say. Beck and Cat look at me.

"How do you know?" Beck asked.

"We keep her car in the driveway because we use my car instead. But her car's gone!" I said. I got out of the car and ran to the house, with Beck and Cat following. I opened the door, everything seemed like it was.

"Let's check her room." Cat said, making her way upstairs. We followed her and I knocked on her door. When she didn't respond I opened the door. My mouth dropped when I saw her room. It was empty. Her drawers were opened and empty. Her bed was all neat and her closet door was opened. I went directly to her closet. It was empty. Her suitcases were gone, her clothes, shoes...everything. It was all gone. I turned around and saw Beck sitting on the bed. He was clutching something in his hand. Cat was standing still by the door. I walked to Beck and sat beside him. I to a hold of his hand and grabbed what he had clutched. It was a letter.

Dear Tori,

_I know you'll probably wonder where the hell I went, but I needed to leave. I can't keep being around you. I dropped all charges against James. He wins, ok? I know I was suppose to fight but I'm weak. I'm not strong like you want me to be. I am not that person. And I don't want to be. I'm sorry. Don't call. I won't answer. Don't look for me. You won't find me. Don't remember me. I want to fade from your memories. _

_Jade_

I closed the letter and looked at Beck. She's gone. And I don't know where she went. Why though? Why would she leave? I could have helped her... I looked back at Beck. His eyes had tears in them. He didn't want to cry, but he couldn't hold it back. His love just ran away from him. Without warning. B

"We'll fine her. Don't worry..." I whispered.

AN- so? did you like it? Tell me? Next chapter we learn what happened and why she left! please review


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- I started working on this once I posted up the last chapter. And I probably won't update any time soon because exams start on Friday. So I need to study if I want to promote to 10th grade. I'll update after exams are finished. So until then, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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. Jade's POV

So remember how I said my anger wouldn't take over? I lied. It did take over. And I hurt her badly. What if I killed her?

Flash Back

_I did my best to avoid people so I went directly to class. It was on the third floor and it was probably empty. No one is up there before school. Barley any teachers are up there, only a few classes are held up there. I went up all the stairs, watching students slowly disappear as I went further up. When I reached the third floor, as I expected it was empty. Except for Jessica, she's a senior. I was in a play with her once but after the play ended I never talked to her. She walked towards me with a smile on her face. I met her half way. _

"_Jade, right?" She asked with a smile. Hm, at least she remembers my name. I nodded and her smile faded._

"_So I have a boyfriend...his name's James Carter. Sounds familiar?" She asked with anger in her voice. Don't say that name, it bothers me._

"_Yeah..." I stated._

"_Well he told me that you're pressing charges against him...for rape." She sneered. My heart beat increased. Stop it, I don't need to hear it right now._

"_He...he d-did." I mumbled. _

"_Really? Because that it not what he told me."_

"_He lied to you." I said with no emotion in my voice. She rolled her eyes and gave out a mocking laugh. _

"_Look, I know you two hooked up and I know he never called you back. Get over it! That does not mean he raped you!" She exclaimed. I felt the anger starting to rise up again. Shut up! You don't know what happened! You weren't there!Don't say it like you know its true! He's lying! He just doesn't care! He wants to pretend this didn't happen and he has you blind. _

"_Nothing to say? Yeah that's what I thought." She mocked._

"_You don't know anything!" I yelled. _

"_I know you're just a SLUT! You practically begged him for sex!" She yelled back._

"_I'm not a slut!" I screamed. I could feel the adrenalin begin to pump inside of me. I bit my lip to stop me from yelling something more. Jessica just move away! _

_I inhaled deeply and walked around her but I stopped when she pulled my arm. So I faced her once again. _

"_You're right, you're not a slut. You're worse than that. You're so much worse that a prostitute is more respectable then you." _

_And that's all it took before I felt my face burn with anger. So I did what anyone would do, I slapped her across her face. I breathed heavily. But it didn't help, she threw a punch at me and I fell. I got up so fast, it amazed me. I punched her on her nose so hard that I scraped a bit of skin on my knuckles. And her nose started bleeding. She slapped me, I felt her finger nails dig deep into my cheeks. When she removed them, it was burning like hell. So I yanked on her hair and pushed her and she fell. She went tumbling down the stairs, that I forgot were there. She kept falling until she hit the wall. And she just laid there. Get up, Jessica! I saw blood flowing out and I panicked. I tried to go to her but my legs were shaking with fear. What did I do? That's when James showed up. He was by her side and he looked up. He saw me. I saw anger in his eyes and I panicked even more. So I ran. I ran as fast as I could through the halls but I heard foot paces coming after me. _

"_Come back here!" James shouted as he chased me. I kept running, turning left and right through the halls. I was running to the other pairs of stairs. I was so close but he was faster. He grabbed my arm and slammed me against the wall. Tears ran down my cheeks. And suddenly I was gasping for air. His hands were wrapped around my neck, pressing hard against it. He was chocking me and I kicked and tried, with all my strength, to get him off. He breathed so heavily on me that it sent chills up my spine. His hot breath on my. His eyes full of rage and hatred. B-but I d-didn't mean to! It was an accident...right? She started it! _

"_Listen and listen well, I won't say it was you who pushed her down the stairs. I'll say she fell and I, personally, will make sure she says that too. See how nice I'm going to be? But you have to do something in return. Drop the charges, **all** of them. And leave. Get out of this town. Run far from here." He said through his teeth. I couldn't breathe but he lightened his grip. _

"_Don't tell anyone anything. Just disappear. Or I will come after you, I will find you and I will kill you. And just to make it even better, I'll do what I did to you to Tori Vega. I'll skin her alive in front you you. Got it?" He asked. I nodded and he let go of me. I fell to my knees and gaped for air. _

"_Run." He said before running back to Jessica. I cried hysterically. Please, god, help me! Please, someone help me! I got up, my legs were shaking but I gathered my things and ran down the other pair of stairs. I escaped through the nearest exit door and I thought Tori saw me turning the corner. But she didn't, or else she would have come after me. I stopped when I was off school grounds. I couldn't breathe and I fell down again. Tears kept flowing out of my eyes. I can't do this anymore. Just end this pain. _

_ After I finally calmed down, I walked to Tori's house. I was relived when her parents weren't home. I opened the front door and ran to my room. I got my suitcases and started packing as fast as I could. I felt my phone vibrate. When I checked it was Beck. I'm so sorry Beck. I love you so much but I can't risk hurting Tori. I need to leave. I love you. _

_I began to cry again. I finished packing and went to the bathroom to get my make up and toothbrush. I took a quick look in the mirror. My cheek had three long cuts running down my cheeks. They were bleeding just a bit. But it burned. I got the first aid kit and placed a large band-aid on it. This is what I have to do. As I went back to my room, my phone kept vibrating but I ignored it. I'm sorry but I have to do this. I love you, Beck. Please don't doubt that. I decided to write Tori a letter, just so she won't think that I was kidnapped or something. I won't tell her anything, I'll just tell her that I couldn't go through with this. I'm a great writer, I can lie through a piece of paper. I got out of that house and loaded my car. And I started to drive. _

_END of FLASH Back_

I drove down the road, not even sure of where the hell I was going. But I had to leave this town. I had to get out of here. I went to a near by bank. I need my inheritance money now. If I take it out somewhere else, they can trace my tracks. And by **they**, I mean Tori and the gang. I know Tori well enough that she'll come looking for me. But she can't find me. She won't find me. So I might as well withdraw the money now.

I drove down to the bank. I parked my car and sat there. My phone vibrated but I ignored it. I went in and ignored all the strange looks I got from people. What haven't they ever seen a person with a big band-aid on their face before? I stood in line and waited for my turn.

"Hi, I'm here to withdraw money from my inheritance." I told the lady. She looked at me like I was crazy. I told her my information and her eyes went wide when she saw the money that I could get. It was $750,000. She looked at me and handed my my money. I'm not going to carry around all this money. I'll just make a new bank account but with different information. That way they can't trace me. I'm smart right? If I'm so smart why didn't I just walk away instead of hurting her?

I felt my phone vibrate, it's Beck again. I collected the money and went back to my car. I sat in the car for a while, I placed my phone on the passenger seat and heard it as it vibrated. I bit my lip in frustration. I was tempted to reply. But I couldn't, I had to be strong. This is my life now. I have nothing left to say to them. I won't cry, I have to learn to forget them...even if it k-kills me.

I turned on the engine and began to go down the rode. He said get out of town, so that's exactly what I'm doing. I'm not sure where the hell I'm going but I need to get out of here. Maybe this is a good thing. I leave this town full of crappy memories. I'll forget that this is the same town I was raped, the same place where I was abandon by my father. And the same place where I found out my mother died...she use to have a beach house. I can go there! I-I'll start all over again and forget about all this...pain. But it's all the way in Oregon which is far from here. I can always fly out but then that would lead on a trace of where I might be going. Fuck. I'll just have to drive. But not now, I just want to sleep. It's only 4pm but I'm tired as fuck.

I went down all the high way until I saw a billboard promoting a near by motel. As I was driving, my phone vibrated again. I groaned and it was Tori this time. So I sent her a message. It was cold and harsh but maybe she'll get the picture.

To Tori : LEAVE ME ALONE

My hand was shaking. But its for her own good. I returned my attention back on the road. This isn't how I wanted it to happen. I was suppose to win the trial and put James in jail. I was suppose to live happily ever after with Beck...and the baby. The baby... shit! I'm having a baby in 7 months! I can't have it, no, not alone. I'm not ready, not now, not ever! I don't-can't go through with this! It pains me in my heart to think about this but maybe its for the best. What if I get an abortion? I-I can't...I know its the best solution if I don't want to have it but, I can't kill it. I'm not that cruel. If I'm not cruel then why did I push Jessica down the stairs? Either way...I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that. But I didn't even ask for this to happen, so maybe I should? Why should I have to go through the pain of child birth when I didn't even ask for this to happen? It's not my fault, at least I think it's not.

It was when I felt tears purring down my face that I had to focus back on the road. I finally found the motel and parked in the parking lot. I grabbed the envelope that contained my money and I got my suitcases out of the car. After drying my tears, I decided to go check in. I'll stay the rest of the night. I'll leave tomorrow morning. I walked in and took out some money. I registered in the front and they handed my my room key. A bellhop took my bags and showed me my room. I nearly had a panic attack when it was just me and him walking through the halls. He suddenly stopped and dropped my bags, I swear I was about to scream. But he just showed my my room instead. I watched him leave and walked in. I dragged my suitcase into the small living room. It had a small kitchen, a living room with a TV, a small door, which I assume is the bathroom and a queen sized bed. I locked the door before sitting on the couch.

So what am I going to do now? I'm underneath all this stress. I left Beck, I ran away without telling him a single word. I left without telling him how much I loved. That phrase that people use to say to me, "its the little things you miss", yeah well I never really paid much attention to it. But I regret it now. I haven't even been gone for a day and I'm already missing Cat's random comments, Robbie and dumb puppet Rex, Andre's insanely beautiful music and Tori's happiness. I never really paid much attention to those things but now that I realized that I am not longer going to hear their voices or see them ever again, it makes me depressed. When my mom use to get depressed she use to drink a lot. Maybe it's time I follow in her foot steps. Like they say, "like mother like daughter." I need whiskey to start drinking my complaints away. I'd probably be better that way, maybe then I could actually sleep.

I know I'm just going to screw up my life at some point, I might as well start now. This is something that I'll never control, so why bother trying? I looked at the clock, 5:30pm.

I swallowed hard and went to the bed. I just need to sleep it off.

.

.

.

Meanwhile- Beck's POV

She left without even saying good-bye. I just want to see her face one more time, to tell her that I love her. She could have at least told me why! She could have asked me to come with her! I could have left with her! I would do anything for her! And yet she doubted that and left me. She left me behind, expecting me to move on. Well I can't...I won't. I need her and I know she needs me. She's just doesn't want me. And when she doesn't want me, it kills me. I have failed to be a boyfriend.

"We'll find her...Don't worry..." Tori said. Her voice is shaking, I looked at her. Tears were in her eyes.

"It'll be ok." She whispered softly. I bit my lip. Not it won't. I won't be ok.

"You don't even believe that, do you?" I asked. She looked down, not sure of what to say.

"Tori's right...we will find her! Even if it takes weeks, months or even years to find her, I won't ever stop looking for her! If I have to, I will spend all my life to find her! I just want my best friend back!" Cat exclaimed through tears. We looked at her, I've seen Cat cry before but the way she's crying now, you can feel her sadness. She was standing so quietly, I barely even knew she was there. But it must be hard for her. Jade was her first friend. It's odd, I know. But Jade was willing to put up with Cat. And they stayed together. It was like they were sisters. But Jade left. Leaving behind broken pieces.

But Cat's right, I'm not going to sit back and wait for her to come back, because frankly, I don't think she's going to come back. And if she won't come to me, then I'm coming to her.

"What are we going to tell your parents? That she ran away, because I know Jade. If she finds out we're looking for her, she'll only run more." I told Tori. She sighed.

"I...we can say she...she went back to live with her...her aunt?" Tori said confused.

"That can work...we just can't tell them she left. Your dad's a cop, he'll chase her down. And she'll run." Cat agreed. I nodded, there's nothing for me to say.

"How are we going to find her though? Won't your parents question where you are?" Cat asked Tori.

"I can always say...that you invited me to a summer camp. I've seen it in movies before, that could work." Tori replied. Cat nodded. I'm going find her. She's my heart and with out it I will die. I'm going on a search for my heart. And I'm not stopping until I find it.

"So, any idea's of where she might be?" Tori asked. Cat shook her head and looked down disappointed. Tori looked at me. And I starred at her. Where could she have gone? I thought about it for a few minutes but it didn't help. I had no clue. I don't know where she could have gone. I opened my mouth to speak but Cat cut in.

"What if she went with her dad? Maybe he came to get her and she went with him." Cat suggested.  
"Yeah, that could be a possibility." Tori said. She ran out of the room and seconds later she came back with a pen and paper. Cat and I looked at her confused.

"What? We need to write everything down!" She exclaimed knowingly. Cat's face brightened up.

"We can be like Sherlock Holmes!" She cheered. I smiled lightly.

"She could have gone to San Jose, I remember one time she said that when she was littler she lived in San Jose for half a year. Maybe she went back there." Tori said. I can't believe that they can come up with places and I can't. The only thing I can come up with is,

"The beach house." I mumbled softly but I knew they heard.  
"The beach house?" Tori asked. I looked at her.

"Her mom use to have a beach house in Oregon. But this was years ago. And she hates beaches so...maybe she's not there." I told her.

"Ok, well let's make a list and since you think she's not there, we'll put that place at the bottom of the list." Tori said. I nodded.

"Hey, Andre just texted me. He asked if Robbie and him can come over. What do I say?" Cat asked worried. I looked at my watch. It was already 2:10 pm. Damn, time went by too fast.

"Let them come! Maybe they can help." Tori said. Cat nodded and texted Andre.

"Anywhere else?" Tori questioned me. I looked away. I can't think right now. My mind is with Jade. Her voice, her smile, her laugh, her attitude, her personality. Everything, I need her now. Why did she leave? I need to know why.

"Beck...?" Tori's voice came back to me. I looked at her.

"Back to her old house?" I shrugged. Tori's eyes brightened up.

"Yes! She can be there, right now! It's so close and she could be packing up more of her things." Tori said.

"You're right! A while back ago, we talked. She said she missed it. Let's go check. Right, now." I urged. Tori nodded and we stood up.

"Wait! What about Andre and Robbie?" Cat asked. We stopped.

"Can you stay and wait for them?" Tori asked. Cat nodded.

"When they get here, tell them everything. And wait for us to come back!" Tori shouted as we ran downstairs. We ran to her car and she turned on the engine. She began to drive. Please, please let Jade be there! I was anxious and my leg was shaking. I need this to work. I need Jade to be there, so I can hold her. So I can tell her how much I love her.

When we got there, Tori pulled into her driveway. I didn't wait for the car to stop completely. I ran to the door. I heard the car turn off and Tori slam the door shut. I tried to open the door but it was locked.

"I'll try the back." I said as I ran to the back yard. I jumped the fence and went to the back door. It was opened! Yes, things are going right. I went in, everything was covered up. All the furniture and it was dusty. I ran to the front door and opened the door for Tori.

**Tori's POV**

I don't think I've ever seen Beck so hopeful. He ran to the backdoor to see it was open. I don't think he's notice but her car isn't here. So it means she's not here. But I don't have the heart to tell him that, he's just going to have to find out on his own.

The front door opened and I walked in. This place sent chills up my spine. It's so empty, just like Jade left it. When she moved in with me, I helped her cover up all the furniture. The electricity is out, no one lives here so why pay for it? They bought the house so no need to pay rent. It's a bit dark in here.

"Tori, you look here. I'll go look in the basement." Beck said as I nodded. He was about to go down the stairs but we heard a noise come from the upstairs bedrooms as if something had been knocked over. Maybe she is here! I looked at Beck, his eyes brightened up. I swear, before he went running up the stairs, I saw a smile on his face. I chased after him and bumped into him.

"What?" I whispered when he didn't open her bedroom door. He took a deep breath and reached for the door knob. He must be nervous to see her. She isn't going to expect us. He opened the door quietly and we entered. But the room was empty. It was just like she last left it. It was gone. I looked at the floor and a mouse ran into the closet. Gross! I looked at Beck. His eyes were empty. I felt so sad for him, a moment ago, you could see the hope and happiness in his eyes. But now its gone. He looked down.

"Maybe she's in her parents room." He whispered as he turned and starting walking to their room. He doesn't want to accept it. She's not here.

"Beck..." I said quietly. I walked towards him. He opened the bedroom door. Yet again, that room was also empty.

"S-she's not here, Beck." I told him. He opened every upstairs door. She wasn't there. But he didn't stop checking.

"Beck, she's not here." I repeated. He went down the stairs.

"She's just hiding in here somewhere!" He shouted from the kitchen. He has to stop. She's not here.

I went followed him through out the house.

"Beck, she's gone! She's not here!" I shouted after him. He turned to look at me. I looked at him sadly. I could see it in his eyes, all his hopes of her being here just disappeared. He looked at me with pain in his eyes. He was reading my mind, it kept telling him, Jade's not here. He walked towards me with anger in his eyes. It scared me but I didn't move. I thought he was going to lose it but he just walked out the house. I let out an uneasy breath. I chased after him only to find that he was running away.

"Beck!" I yelled. I ran to my car and followed him. When I spotted him, I caught up to him. I scrolled down the windows.

"Where are you going?" I asked calmly.

"To get my car." He stated simply. He had no emotion in his voice. It wasn't like before, when he tried to do his best to show that he wasn't hurting. He's doesn't seem to care anymore, he's just letting it show.

"I'll take you there." I said. He shook his head.

"Beck! Get in! Please." My voice trembled. He's hurting, I'm hurting but we can't fight. Not now, we need to stick together. If we're ever going to find her. He stopped and I pulled over. He got in. I drove to school, the parking lot was empty except for his car. School had all ready ended, great way to start summer vacation, right? I parked next to his car and he got out, slamming the car door behind him. I jumped slightly when he did that. He started his car and began to drive. I followed right behind him. This wasn't suppose to happen. Jade was suppose to put James in jail and then be happy with Beck. And her baby. What's going to happen to the baby? Is she going to raise him or her by herself? I don't have her to go through with childbirth alone. She needs someone there with her. Even if she doesn't want to admit it, she need someone there.

We reached the house and Beck parked behind Andre's car in the drive way. I parked my car and went inside with Beck. Andre, Robbie and Cat were sitting on the couch talking. They stopped when we came in. Beck sat down without saying anything. Cat looked at me, I could tell by here eyes that she was asking if we found her. I shook my head and she looked down. Andre starred at me and did his best to smile. He stood up and walked to me. Even though he's here, it still doesn't make me feel less sad.

"No luck, I see." He said. I nodded.

"Well, we came up with a list." Robbie said from behind. I walked past Andre and sat on the couch next to Cat. I scanned the list.

Jade's house

Her dad's place (Seattle, Washington)

San Jose

Maryland, Washington D.C

The beach house

I looked back at them confused.

"Why would she be in Maryland?" I asked them.

"Well, when we were in history class, we were learning about the White house. And she said after she retires from acting and singing that she wanted to move there." Robbie said.

"But..that's too far away! I doubt she'd go there." I protested.

"Exactly! She will go anywhere where she doesn't think anyone will find her!" Andre said. I shrugged. Anything is better than nothing.

"Seattle?" I asked as I looked at Cat. She nodded.

"Her dad lives there. She told me some time ago. She might be with him." Cat said.

"Well we can fly out." I suggested. Cat, Andre, Robbie and I began to talk about how we were going to travel. Beck kept quiet.

"You're all missing the big picture." Beck suddenly said. We all stopped and looked at him.

"She's not an idiot. If she does go to Seattle, she won't fly there. She'll drive there. She knows we can just track her down. Just look at her record, we can see when she goes out of the country." He said. I looked down. But he's right.

"We can drive there." Cat pipped up.

"Yeah, we can catch up to her. It's only one of her so she'll have to stop more frequently to rest. But us, we're a lot of people. We can take turns driving that way we don't waste time." Robbie said.

"And on our way, we can check out the beach house. We have to pass Oregon anyways to cross the get to Seattle." Andre said. We looked up at Beck, as if to ask for his permission. He shrugged.

"Can't you act like you care?" Andre mumbled. I don't think he wanted Beck to hear but he did.

"You think I don't care!" Beck shouted. When Andre stood up, we did too.

"No, it's just that you're sitting over there all quiet and not even trying to figure out where she is! You're not helping! You're just sitting around. Well, sorry to break it to you, but she's not going to come back, We have to find her." Andre yelled.

"You don't get it! You're not in love with her! I am! To see her just walk away without an explanation kills me!" Beck shouted back.

"You guys! Come on! Stop!" Cat pleaded.

"No, just shut up, Cat." Beck said annoyed. He's broken with out her. He's beginning to break.

"Don't tell her to shut up! You're the one who's acting like an ass." Andre spat out.

"I am not an ass! You just don't understand how to love a person!" Beck yelled. Andre rolled his eyes and gave out a laugh.

"Oh really? And you do!" Andre asked angrily.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Beck replied walking towards Andre. I walked to Andre's side, what is Andre doing? I know he's upset but he doesn't have to act like this.

"Where were you when she needed you? When she found out she was pregnant! When she was raped! Where were you? If you really think about it, it all comes down to you and her fighting! And who started that fight?" Andre yelled in frustration. My eyes went wide open. It's one thing to be mad at him but to blame him for what happened to Jade.

"Andre! It's not his fault!" I yelled at him. How could he say that? I know he's hurt too because of Jade and mad at Beck for not showing that he cares, but this is too much. There's something else bothering him, ever since this morning at school. When he was talking to that other girl and when he looked at me a bit annoyed. It still doesn't mean he should say that!

"Both of you, just shut up!" I shouted. I felt Beck push by me and walk out the door. He slammed it and the house fell silent. I looked at Andre and shook my head.

"Why did you say it was his fault? Andre, you know it wasn't!" I said. He looked down. I walked to the door to chase after Beck.

"Yeah, just chase after your new crush." He said. I stopped and turned around.

"You think I like..." I stopped and shook my head. And then it hit me. Does Andre like me? If he does then maybe he was jealous that I spent all day with Beck. That's why he looked at me a bit upset during class today. He was hurt.

"Well maybe if you actually opened your eyes, you would have seen that I like you!" I shouted at him before walking out. I felt tears running down my cheeks. Every things falling apart. And nothing I do can help. I ran to Beck, he was getting into his car. I ran to the front of his car.

"Move, Tori!" He yelled. I shook my head, tears still pouring down my face.

"No!" I yelled. This isn't going to end like this! I don't care what I have to do! We have to stop this, we need to be together if we're going to find her!

"Tori, I'm not joking!" Beck exclaimed. I'm fixing this right now. I don't care how, I just am!

"You and Andre are best friends!" I began. He rolled his eyes.

"You heard what he said!" Beck told me. I shook my head.

"I don't care! Look, we're all fucking hurting because she left! But if we're going to find her then we need to stop fighting and work together! Otherwise, this is pointless! Otherwise, we will NOT find her." I explained. His eyes lost the anger. I fell on my knees and cried. Why the fuck do things have to be so complicated?

I heard him get out of the car and sit next to me. I looked up and he was sitting down, leaning against his car. He didn't say anything.

"Please, I need this to work. Stop fighting..."I whispered. He hugged me and I rested my head on his shoulder. When we broke apart, I saw Andre starring at us.  
"Andre..."I began as I got up. He looked away and shook his head. He walked past me and went to Beck. I froze as I thought he was going to hit him. But instead he hugged Beck. I felt a bit better.

"I'm sorry, man. It's not your fault and I was stupid to say it was. Cat talked to me. She said that if we're going to start fighting then we can't find Jade. And you need to find her. I'm going to help you." Andre explained. Beck nodded and apologized too. I felt my eyes growing swollen. Cat and Robbie came out and Cat smiled.

"Yey! We're all happy now!" Cat cheered. Beck hugged her and apologized for being an ass. But she laughed it off.

"Now, we wait for my parents to come home. And I'll tell them I'm going to camp with Cat, and then tomorrow we can leave." I explained. They nodded. I looked at Andre but he refused to make eye contact with me. I told him I liked him...doesn't he like me too? I sighed and took a deep breath. I'm an idiot/ He doesn't like me. I feel so pathetic now. I was way out of my lead anyways...

AN- So? How did you like it? This is going to be the last chapter until a while from now. I need to focus and study because exams are here. And I wanted you guys to have a long chapter until I come back. Review! Only six away from 100! :D thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, favorites, send alerts and for everything else! I really do appreciate it! :D 3


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious, so sad I know ):

AN- :D! I made it, well WE made it! 100 reviews! Yes! And thank you to LadyBug442 for being my 100th review! Oh, and at the end, when I am don't with my story, I will put up another chapter with EVERY ONE who reviewed! ! :D (see that, that's my very happy face) Ok, I know you can care less about this (lol but we all know its true) so go ahead and read and review please!

.

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. Tori's POV

After all the drama died down, we decided it would be best if every one went home to pack. Beck says his parents won't care, Andre said the same, Robbie told his parents that he would be going to a ventriloquist camp. They trust him so they bought it and Cat is ditching summer camp and staying with me to talk to my parents. One by one the left until it was just me and Cat in my living room. And now we sit and wait.

"So when my parents come home, you stay quiet and agree with everything I say, ok?" I told Cat for the 5th time tonight. She nodded happily. I forced a smile but it didn't come out right. I'm still hung up on Andre and how stupid I was that I admitted that I liked him. I can't believe I actually thought he would like me too because I was so damn conceited. So there goes our friendship, walking out the door. I wish he could at least talk to me. I tried talking to him but he would either ignore me and push by me or just start talking to someone else when he saw me coming towards him. If he doesn't like me he should say it to my face instead of turning his back on me.

"Tori, are you ok?" Cat asked. I turned to her and blinked.

"You look angry...is it because of Andre?" She asked. I wanted to deny it but I couldn't. Cat might act dumb at times but she's not naïve. She's actually really smart, I just don't know why she doesn't act like it.

"Tori?" She said waving her hand in front of my face.

"Oh right, sorry." I mumbled. She stared at me with a serious face.

"It is about Andre." I admitted and groaned as I threw my self at the couch. She sat beside me and kept starring at me.

"Cat! Say something!" I exclaimed. She brought it up and she's staying silent. She jumped a little.

"Ok! Ok! I'm sorry! I was just thinking!" She said loudly. I sighed and leaned against the couch, trying to sink into it if it was possible.

"But I don't get it. Why are you so upset?" Cat asked. I felt the urge to slap myself on the forehead.

"Cat! Have you not noticed that he's been ignoring me ever since his fight with Beck!" I yelled. Just then the door opened and in came Trina with a big smile on her face.

"Tori! Guess what?" She said running towards me. I groaned, I so don't want to hear her right now but she's my sister so I have to put up with it.

"What is it?" I asked as she shoved Cat off the couch and sat in her seat.

"Trina!" I yelled as I got up to help Cat.

"Oh right, sorry Cat." She said before pulling me back on the couch.

"It's ok." Cat said sitting on the other couch.

"Ok so guess what?" Trina asked once again. I sighed.

"What is it?" I tried my best to act interested.

"I got accepted in to The Art Institute of California!" She exclaimed happily.

"Oh my god! That's amazing!" I cheered with her. I was actually not that surprised to hear it. People think she has no talent, and it would seem like it, but she can draw like no other. She designs most of her clothes. So this it perfect for her. She smiled widely.

"I know! Wait till mom and dad get home! I'm so telling them!" She exclaimed.

"I actually need to tell them something first..." I trailed off as the front door opened. We looked towards the door to see mom and dad come in.

"Hi, Mrs. and Mr. Vega." Cat said waving at them. They smiled back and moved towards us.

"Hello Cat. I didn't know you'd be here." My mom said. She looked around and then focused on me.

"Tori, where's Jade?" She asked.

"Oh yeah, I knew someone was missing." Trina added scanning the room. I swallowed hard and laughed uneasily.

"Well...the thing is, she sort of...moved out." I said timidly. She looked at me and my dad walked over.

"What do you mean moved out? She's not allowed to do that without us knowing. I mean we'd have to sign papers to give the other person the custody and all the social workers would have to be involved. And we'd have to go to a mee-" My dad rambled on but I cut him off.

"Dad, there was no need for that. Her Aunt...um, A-Alexandra had custody all along. She just let Jade stay with us to finish up this year. But after wards Jade was going to go back with her." I explained. Please, please let me not get caught.

"This was never in the contract we signed to take over Jade's custody. She could have at least told us about it."

"Well you must have skipped that detail but dad, her aunt took her. And she didn't have a chance to tell you because she had to pack and everything but she told me to tell you...thanks for everything and that she appreciates it."

"So now what about the charges?" My mom asked.

"She dropped them...she said that she's moving so she can start all over again. And she wants to forget so there, all solved."

"No, this is not solved. I want to talk to her, did she give you her information of where she was staying?" My mom asked. I froze for a moment.

"Um, she went to live...in Florida! Yup she went all the way over there and gave me no other information. Now um, can I go to summer camp with Cat?" I tried changing the subject.

"Camp?" My dad asked raising his eyebrow. I glanced at Cat who was playing with her hair.

"Yeah, Cat why don't you tell them about the camp." I told her. She looked confused but then nodded.

"Ok so its this really cool camp to I go to every summer. It's really fun and I want Tori to come. So can she go?" Cat asked. She looked at me and I smiled.

"When and where is this camp?" My mom questioned. Cat froze and I nudged her elbow to continue.

"Its at...um, somewhere in the mountains and we go tomorrow." She explained.

"I don't know, Tori. I mean having you gone for the summer is going to be strange." My mom began.

"Please mom! I really want to go." I begged. She looked at my dad who shrugged. She did a deep sigh but nodded.

"Fine but you must call me every night. And I want to drop you off at the campsite." She stated.

"No you can't do that...we take a bus there, right Cat." I told her. Cat nodded. My mom frowned.

"Mom this will be a good experience. Please let me go." I said looking at her with my begging eyes.

"Fine." She said softly. I shrieked and hugged her.

"Thank you! Thank you! Ok now I have to go pack. Come on Cat!" I said dragging her away. I heard my mom say something but I ignored it and went to my room. I shut the door and locked it.

"Cat, tell the guys the plan is on. I'll start packing." I said as I took out my suitcases. Cat nodded and took at her phone.

"I'll call Robbie." She said dialing the number.

I sighed. My long journey starts tomorrow. It's normal to feel a bit nervous right? Yeah I think it is...

.

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. Jade's POV

I can't fall asleep. I closed my eyes for maybe an hour or two but something woke me up. I keep having doubt in my mind. At least I want to. I want to believe that I didn't hurt them by leaving. I want to believe that they won't miss me. I want to believe that they will move on. Tori, she can be less tense. Every day I notice her become more and more tense and its all because of me. She doesn't want to say anything but I bet she's relieved that I'm gone. As for Beck, he's relieved too. Why wouldn't her be, right? He was going to be a dad for a child that isn't even his. Having me and this unborn child gone will be good. He'll be able to move on and go live to a carefree life again. He can find another girl who causes him less pain and makes him happy and loves him. And Cat, she is always happy. She will bounce back in no time. And she is always looking to make new friends. I'm sure she'll make a new best friend. One that won't abandon in her and will learn to deal with her emotional breakdowns. And Andre we were somewhat good friends. He actually tolerates me. Well at least pretends to. If I hadn't been dating his best friend, I'm sure we would have never meant nor talked to each other. Same with Robbie. Plus me and Robbie were never close friends. Hell we barley even see each other outside of school. Once or twice we've hung out, just the both of us but that was only because we bumped into each other. We never planned to hang out. He'll probably be the one who first forgets me. I'm sure of that.

I wish I could believe everything I just thought. But I can't. I want to just call them and tell them to forget me and move on but I just can't bring myself to do it. Is it wrong to want them to keep remembering me? I'm so selfish. I should want them to live their lives and continue to be happy again. Yet I still want them to keep holding on to me, to keep thinking about me. Half of me wants them to come after me. And half of me wants them to not. They probably are just sitting there and wishing for me to come back. And even if they do come looking for me, they won't find me. And eventually they'll grow tired of chasing me so they'll go to their senior year and never once look back. They'll all graduate together, go to college and become famous. With time they'll forget me. And the day when one of them looks at their high school year book, they'll see my picture and wonder, "She looks familiar...I wonder who she is." They won't recognize me.

As for me...I'll always remember them and keep them in my heart. I'll go one with life. Start all over again and try to move on. I'll always feel empty inside. The small little hole that misses them will keep growing bigger and bigger everyday until it takes over. I'll always feel like part of me is missing but then again I've always felt this way since mom...left. I'll say goodbye to love, watch it go out the opened window and wait for my life to be over. After all, isn't that what we're all waiting for at some point? We live our life to the fullest because we all know that one way or another we end up dieing. Some live their life wisely, others not so wise and others alone. I'll be that lonely person in the world...i decided I'm not having the baby anymore. I-I just don't know anymore! I don't want to kill it but I can't raise it. I can always just leave it in some foster home but he or she will grow up so empty because they'll never have a real family to belong to. I can go through the process of adoption, have the kid and give it to a family of my choosing. But what if I choose the wrong family and my child will be abused and suffer? Then they'll hate me forever for giving them up. I have the money to support it...I'm just a teenager still! I'm not stable enough to do this kind of thing! I was still a fuckin' virgin! I still would be if it hadn't been for that bastard! And if I ever did want to lose my virginity it would have been to Beck! I promised him that he would be the one. That he would be that one guy. Just look how that turned out! I'm pregnant! I don't deserve this...I want to wake up and realize that this is just a horrible nightmare. Why me? Why does it have to be me? Why...why not some other girl?...oh my fuckin' god! I'm going insane. How could I wish this to happen to another person? I-I'm a monster. I'm a fuckin' monster for wishing that. I'm sorry, I don't want this to happen to anyone else. I wasn't thinking right. I don't want anyone to suffer like this. But I don't want to suffer either. This world is so corrupted that I wish I could say this doesn't happen a lot...I'd be lying if I did say that though.

What am I suppose to do now? I need someone to tell me what to do. I'm so lost and confused. I'm so scared...please just someone wake me up from this nightmare. I'm tired, I'm hurting and I'm breaking. Someone just take me out of this misery. Please...

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Please, please review! Every review makes me happy! :D -very happy face.

Oh and can anyone PM me about how to stop your computer from not saving files? Every time I try to save a chapter, it ends up not saving it and it's getting me mad because I have to re-write everything again :(

Anyways thanks so much!


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- Kay sorry I haven't uploaded in a while but here you go :) Please Read and Review 3 thanks!

Oh and I'm not sure if I did mention this before but this whole story was inspired by a line in one song called Dance with the Devil by Immortal Technique. It's just many people ask me if I have ever been through something like this or how I happen to know so much about this type of things. And my answer to that is, no I have not been through any of this (very grateful for that). And I don't know so much about this topic, I just try to position myself in this type of situation. I try to feel what it would be like to go through something like this, though I am pretty sure that words can not explain how being raped truly feels like. And I apologize if my type of story offends anyone out there, I am not trying to make any damage at all.

That's all I needed to say so go ahead and enjoy this chapter please :) Thanks.

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. Jade's POV

Time keeps going by. The hands on the clock keep moving, they never stay still. The sound of the time ticking away bothers me. Tick. Tock. Tick.

Tock. My eyes can't seem to close. I was asleep for what seemed hours but were only minutes. My stomach keeps churning, the feeling of disgust

lingers inside of me. The sun is beginning to rise but I only wish it was still dark. So I would never have to get up from this bed. So badly I want to

fall asleep. But it is too late for that, yet it is too early to be up.

I tossed and turned, trying my best to hide from the dim light growing outside. I nearly had a heart attack when my phone began it ring. I felt

around for it, trying to shut the damn alarm clock off. Groaning I forced myself to get up and head to the bathroom. With my eyes barley opened, I

stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I glanced at my reflection, how disgusting I looked. Heavy bags under my eyes, hair in a

messy ponytail, baggy sweatpants with a baggy t-shirt. I kept my self focus, now is not the time to go all self-conscious on myself. I stripped down

and entered the shower. I soaked in the warm water. It relaxed all my body and my legs began to shake. This exhaustion will be the death of me.

But nevertheless, I am on a mission to get to Portland. And by all means I will get there. I need to get there. I could start listing all the reasons

why I need to leave again but its pointless now. While I was lying awake all night, I kept thinking about how much time I spend a day hollowing in

self pity. It's disgusting and pathetic of me. Yeah my life is crappy, but what ever. Who's life doesn't suck? Oh right,

Tori's...Cat's...Andre's...Robbie's. Well as far as I know, there life is drama less. As for Beck, I keep thinking he'll move on very fast but I know that's

not true. I know he loves me, but I wish he didn't. Look at what I'm doing to him, all this mess because of me- no! No, bad Jade! I am not going to

start that shit again. I'm sick and tired because all I do is keep complaining and keep remembering how every thing is my fault. I'm tired of being

tired all the time. I just want to be happy again. I'll admit, I wasn't always happy but at least I knew what it felt like. Time keeps going on and on

and each day I forget a little more on how it feels to be happy. I don't want to be sad forever. I need to move on...any way I can. Forgetting isn't

easy but it won't help if all I do is think about it. Even though I can hear a distant voice calling my name and wanting me to open up my inner

thoughts and remember all the damage I've done. Sometimes I think that I'll end up destroying myself. Sometimes I think that I'm never going to

be happy because I don't let myself be happy. I keep wanting and wanting but I never do anything to get what I want.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt only cold water hit my body. I must have used up all the warm water. I turned off the water and stepped

out. I dressed myself and got ready for more agonizing hours to come. I decided to drive until night came around. I have 11 hours until I finally get to my destination. But I want to get there tomorrow during daylight.

I grabbed my suitcases and went down to the lobby to hand in my key. I glanced at the clock on my way out, 8 a. m, it read. I ignored the look the

lady gave when I handed her my key. My bruise still hasn't faded but it doesn't hurt anymore. I put my things back in my car and drove off.

My body feels likes its on autopilot. I can't feel anything, really. I can see myself doing things but it feels like I'm not even doing it...does that even

make sense? I don't know nor do I care. All I need right now, is coffee. Something to finish waking me up. You know, some people say that it's

good to talk on your phone when you're driving and really exhausted. Ironic...I use to drive, tired but I would never call anyone yet I had multiple

people to call. Yet now that I'm tired and driving, I have no one to call. I should put this on the FML website and see how many people agree. It's also getting sad at my attempts to try not to think about all the shit that's happening in my life right now. I keep trying to rant on and on about

different things but my stupid mind is hard to escape from. There's just some things that you can't escape from. I know that by leaving, I'm only

making things worse. I should just turn around and go back home...I'd run into Beck's arms and cry silently, whispering to him that I am sorry for

everything. I would feel safe with him and ask him to elope with me... but lets face it, that's only a dream. More like a wish because wishes never

come true for me. Its funny how I can figure out a way to go back and make things better but I still keep driving on and on. I realized, back at the

hotel, that I could still have won the trial, regardless of all that just happened. I could have said the entire truth. I could have accepted the

consequences instead of running away like a coward. I know I am a coward, I should just go back and say everything that happened! But... I don't

want to go back. I know I shouldn't listen to James empty threats but he's not the reason I'm leaving. I'm using him as an excuse but truth is, I

want to do this. I want to leave and never go back. I want to run away and not face my problems. My mom use to tell me that I couldn't run away

for ever, that I had to face everything at one point. Well I don't know when that point is coming but until then I'm running. I don't give a damn

about facing my problems head on. I'm running. It's easier and better to run. James...he can win. I'm done trying and this time, there's nothing

anyone can say to me about it because I'm gone.

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. Beck's POV

I couldn't sleep at all last night. I've been wide awake, waiting for the others to arrive. Robbie and Andre arrived at my RV around 6:30am. The girls

are at Tori's house, waving good-bye to Tori's parents. They're on their way here. We're taking Robbie's grandma's mini-van.

"Hey, the girls are outside. Let's go." Andre said as he poked his head through my door. I got up from the couch and got my bags. When I went

out, the sun was much brighter then it was at 6:30. By now we would have been on the road but the girls decided to take a long time saying

goodbye and we wasted an hour with hugs and kisses. It would have been easier if I had gone by myself but Tori would have none of that crap.

I sighed and watched as the girls put their stuff into the back of the car. Andre grabbed my stuff and put it in the back as well.

"Alright, let's hit the road!" Andre said, a faint smile on his face. He got into the driver's seat, I got in the passengers seat, Cat and Tori slid into the

back seat and Robbie was on the last row. He needed all the space to himself because of his "claustrophobia" issue. We drove off, heading to San

Jose. That's our first destination. Tori went all stalker on Jade and found out that Jade's mom use to own a small orphanage. But it was shut down,

a couple years after Jade was born. Now its just an old building, but its still under the name of the West's. We think she might have been there.

But I can't concentrate on that. There's something inside of me that keeps growing bigger and bigger. I'm getting emptier and angrier. All I want to

do it have Jade in my hands and scream at her. Yell at her and ask her why she left. Did she not even think about me? She could have told me or

asked me to leave with her! She knows I love her, I told her every god damn day that I did! What did I do wrong for her to run away? I feel angry

at her and nothing but hatred at her right now. And it scares me. Why do I feel like this? I love her, I really and truly love her. I just don't

understand why I'm feeling angry and hateful towards someone I'm in love with. It drives me insane! I need to know where she is. I need to hold

her again. Without her, I am lost. Without her, I lose myself. What am I suppose to do?

"Beck?" Andre snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked at him and then glanced towards the back seats. Cat had her head leaning against Tori's

shoulder while Tori rested her head on Cat's head. They were asleep. I couldn't see Robbie because he was in the last row, the girl's seats were

covering him. But I assumed he was asleep too. I focused my attention back on Andre.

"What?" I asked quietly. He glanced at me for a quick second before turning his attention back to the road.

"Jade loves you, you know that right?" He asked. I opened my mouth to reply but I shut it quickly. D-does she love me? I...wait, how can I think that?

"Of course I do." I replied sternly.

"Are you sure?" He questioned again. I frowned at him.

"Yes I am sure." I said roughly. He took a deep breath in and out.

"You hesitated when I first asked you. If you were 100% sure, you wouldn't have hesitated." He explained.

"I am..."I whispered softly. He shifted before speaking again.

"You can't doubt that, not even for a second. Beck, she loves you. The reason she left is unknown. But I am positive that it was never her intention

to hurt you. We are going to find her, I will make sure of it. But you can't stop thinking that she loves you. If you let go of that...then you start

breaking. If you break, then we won't be able to find her. I know it must be hard for you but you're not the only one she left behind. Think about Cat and Tori." He paused.

"You think this doesn't effect them as much as it does to you. Cat has been with Jade since 3rd grade. Jade was the one who pushed all the bullies

away from Cat. They are best friends. They've been together longer than you and Jade. You and Jade met in 7th grade. And Tori...they never got

along at first. But that all changed. Look at all the things Tori did for Jade. She helped Jade move out of the darkness and helped her come forth of

her rape. They are hurting too, except Cat doesn't show it because she's use to being all sunshine and rainbows. Tori's the only one keeping us

together. She left all of us. Not just you, man." He finished.

I kept my eyes forward and kept quiet. What was I to say to that? He was right...I'm not the only one hurting. And what he said about Cat is true.

Cat never shows how she really feels, all she does is keep a smile on her face. She is an extremely talented actor and can fool anyone. That smile

of hers never comes off. Tori, well she's different. She shows her emotion but only on certain times. Yesterday, she broke down and cried. But she

forced her self to get back up and bring us all together again. Without her, we would be lost. She was the reason that Jade beheld the truth about

her rape. What would have happened if Tori had never found out? The things Jade could have done...I don't want to think about it. I just don't, its

too much right now.

My eyes began to close. They re-opened when Andre pulled over on the side of the road. Before I could react, he had gotten off and Robbie took

his place. He looked at me before starting the car again. He drove off and I didn't even fight to keep my eyes opened. I drifted off into a deep

sleep.

I'm not sure how much time went by but when I woke up, we were at the entrance to San Jose. And Robbie was still driving. I looked at my cell

phone and checked the time. It was 12:50, about to be 1 soon. I sat up and yawned.

"Hey..." I mumbled half asleep. I heard Tori and Cat giggle. I turned to them and when they saw me, they burst into laughter. My eyes went open

as I check in the front mirror to see my face. As I expected, they had written on me... I had, in big letters, "I AM A LOSER" on my face. I couldn't

help but to laugh at it. It was funny, I wondered how I could have slept through that.

"Very funny." I said jokingly at them. They smiled and handed me a water bottle and napkins.

"It's washable, don't worry." Tori said as she unwrapped a lollipop. I looked toward Cat and held out my hand.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"I want candy." I said smiling at her. Her face brightened up and she reached into her pig-purse-thing and took out a lollipop for me. She held on to

it until I cleaned my face. Then she gave it to me and I unwrapped it and stuck it in my mouth.

I turned around. My heart is still missing a beat and I'm still hurting. But if I keep thinking about it, I will become depressed. And if I'm too

depressed, how am I going to find Jade? We need to focus and how are we going to focus if we're all lost in our minds, thinking on all the

depressing things? We have each other, for now, and we might as well get close and try to have a bit of fun. That way we won't be so sad

anymore. Plus Cat gives out candy when she's happy...and I like candy too.

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OK I am done (: Well for this chapter at least. Read and Review s'il vous plait. Merci! And I apologize if this chapter didn't come out...good. Thanks! 3


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- So after a really long time of figuring out the ending. I finally figured it out. All I need is to write it in words. This is not the last chapter but hopefully, now that I have it figured out, then this story will end (:

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. Jade's POV

There's nothing left for me to say. After all, the things I need to say are nothing but self pity. And I'm not going to do that.

I've been driving for hours now and the sun is beginning to go down. My stomach keeps churning, not sure if its from the hunger or because I'm about to puke. Maybe both...ah! My luck is somewhat returning because I saw a diner up ahead.

I pulled into the parking lot and got my purse. I walked in. It wasn't anything fancy. It was like a retro diner, you know? It had a long eating both in the front with tables to the side. I looked around before sitting in a table. Barley anyone was here. Two truck drivers and a family that consisted of a mother, father, two little boys and one teenage boy. The little boy in the red looked to be around 6 or 7. The other little boy in the blue shirt look to be 5. And the teenager, he looked around my age. He had black hair, really skinny and looked as if he did not want to be here.

"Can I get you anything, darling?" I jumped at the sound of the voice. I looked up and there was a smiling lady, about mid 30's.

"Oh, right. Um, can I get a burger with fries? And apple juice, please." I ordered. She smiled and nodded before turning away and walking to the front counter to place in my order.

"Aren't you a bit to young to be all the way out here by yourself?" Another voice said. I looked to my right and the truck driver was looking at me.

"No." I said. He chuckled, does he think I'm joking?

"How old are you, 14? Let me guess, you're running away. Right?" He asked smirking. What the hell, is he mocking me? He looked to be around his early 20's. He had brown hair and brown eyes. And he had a New Orleans's accent too.

"I'm 17. And no, I am not running away. I'm simply making my way somewhere for vacation." I explained firmly.

"Running away won't solve anything you know." He said taking a sip from his coffee. He stood up and walked over to me.

"I never said I was running away." I replied, clenching my teeth. He smirked and sat down across from me.

"I'd believe you but your eyes says it all." He said starring at me. I glared at him.

"You're to young to know how life works, kid." He commented.

"I'm not a kid!" I exclaimed. Just then the lady that took my order came to my table and placed down my food.

"Here you go, sweet heart. Eat up, it'll do you good." She said smiling before leaving.

"Yeah you're sure not a kid. Apple juice with a hamburger and fries. Sounds like you just got your self a Happy Meal from McDonald's." He sneered, grinning widely.

"So what, food is food. And I drink coffee." I remarked.

"Ohhhh, so you're trying to be a grown up. Well let me tell you something, grown ups don't run." He said before standing up.

"I'm not a child. And for the last time, I'm not running away." I said eating a fry.

"The way your starred at that family over there, shows that you wish you had a family like that. The way you hesitated at the door, looking around before you sat shows that you're uncertain with your choice. Your choice of leaving the family you never really had." He explained. I said nothing but instead took another fry.

"Word of advice, running away won't solve everything. Take care kid." He said before walking away. Who is he?

"Names Axell by the way. You?" He commented as if reading my mind.

"Jade." I said automatically. Not sure why I said my real name, I just did. I watched as he exited the door. I watched him get in his car and drive away. He was actually...not that bad looking and he was...fun? To talk to. He was just interesting because everything he said...was right. I am running away. He knew it, he didn't believe me when I said he was wrong. It was as if he could read me. But he was still annoying, the way he kept saying I was a kid. I'm not a kid.

"I'm not a kid." I mumbled as I took a bite out of my burger. And suddenly, I wasn't hungry anymore. I swallowed and drank some of my apple juice.

"Excuse me, ma'am." I tried getting the lady's attention. She walked over and smiled to me again. It wasn't those forced smiled either, her smile was a nice and warm one.

"What can I do for you, hun?" She asked, What is it with her nicknames?

"Can I take this to go, please?" I asked. She nodded and retreated to get a container for my food. She came back in less than a minute. She also gave me my bill. I paid the $16.85.

"Thank you." I waved good bye as I went back to my car. I'm...glad that I decided to stop.

It was now night time and I drove away. I kept driving until I found a near by motel that was only 3 miles away from the diner. I parked my car and walked to the window, where it said "Order Room Here".

"One room please." I said taking out my money. The man look half dead as he handed me the key. I paid and returned to my car to get out my bag with my clothes in it. I then searched for the room.

230. That was my room number. I walked up the stairs and searched for my room.

I found it and began to open the door. When I opened it, the room next to mine, opened its door. I look and there he was. Axell again.

"Well what do we have here." He smirked in his New Orleans's accent. I paused.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Could ask you the same question." He replied. I rolled my eyes.

"Alright then. Nice talking to you. Now if you excuse me, I'll be going in to my room now." I said pushing forward the door.

"Night." He told me as he made his way out. I entered and closed the door. I found a light switched and turned on the lights. What is it with this man that gets me all worked out? He's so annoying. And he calls me a child? Please.

I laid my bags down on the couch and walked to the bed. I stripped down and changed into my PJ's. I let down my hair from its bun and laid down. I turned on the lamp on the side of my bed and walked over to the light switch to turn off the main light.

I got in to bed and turned off the light to the side of my bed. I laid wide awake. I'm not tired. I'm not sleepy. I felt around on the floor before I found my purse. I took about my phone. No calls. No messages. It's weird. I sort of hoped that I would have messages from Beck. Maybe he isn't going to look for me. Maybe he just accepted it and is going to move on.

I felt sudden sadness come over me. Wait. What's going on? I was the one that told him not to come looking for me. I was the one that chose to run away and try my hardest to make it impossible for them to find me. And now I want them to come look for me? This is pathetic. I'm pathetic.

I felt tears stains my cheeks. And I eventually got tired. I sighed, by tomorrow afternoon I will be at the beach house and will start all over again.

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. Beck's POV

We drove to the entrance of San Jose. The day was still bright and Tori gave us the address of the orphanage. We made it just in time. The day was not gone yet when we arrived at the location. But my heart sank when we got there. The building. It was gone. It wasn't even there anymore. It was just a big empty space. Nothing was there.

"Beck..." Tori began. I got out of the car and walked to the emptiness. Dirt was all that was left. Where is she? I hoped that she was here. I really did. I just want to be able to hold her and tell her to be with me. I heard foot steps come towards me but I didn't even glance back.

"Hey, we can try the other places." I heard Andre's voice come next to me. I didn't look at him though. What if we don't get to her in time? Then what? It'll be like in Titanic. Rose and James never got to be together in the end. They didn't get to marry each other and live happily ever after...no. No, that is not going to happen to us. I'll find her. And I'll ask for her to marry me. It sounds stupid and cheesy but I want to marry her. I'll spend my entire life chasing after her.

"We can go see her dad." Tori suggested. I didn't even notice her walk over here.

"Her dad is all the way in Seattle." I whispered. I looked at her. She looked down.

"It'll take us days to get there."

"we can also stop at the beach house before we head to Seattle." Andre commented. Robbie and Cat came and stood next to Tori and Andre. I sighed.

"Fine." I mumbled. I began to walk back to the car but Tori held my arm. I looked back at her.

"We'll just be in the car." Cat said dragging along Andre and Robbie. Andre glared at Tori. I couldn't help but to notice that Andre and Tori haven't really been talking to each other like they use to. You could almost feel the awkwardness when they're together. It can't be because of the stupid fight Andre and I had, could it? I focused back on Tori.

"Look, I know you're sad and hurt that she isn't here. But you can't let if affect you too badly. We need your focus with us. Ok?" She told me. I nodded slowly and she hugged me. We pulled apart and smiled .We walked back to the car, her arm wrapped around mine. I looked to the window and saw Andre glaring at us. But when he saw me he look away. I glanced at Tori. She mus thave seen him turn away because she slipped out of out hold and looked down. I stopped her from walking.

"You ok?" She asked concerned.

"I'll be fine. But, are YOU ok?" I questioned. She looked a bit taken back. Bet she wasn't expecting to hear that question.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine." She hesitated. I studied her face closely.

"No, you're not. Does...does Andre have to do with this by any chance?" I asked her. She shook her head, almost to fast.

"No, of course not."

"Don't lie to me Tori." I said. She only looked down.

"We'll be fine. You don't need to worry. Like I said before. We all need our focus here." She said. But it was like she was saying it to herself.

"Its not bad if you let people help you, you know." I said.

"Beck, I'm fine." She protested.

"Just... I'm here for you too, ok? You're my friend and I care about you Tori." I told her. She smiled and gave me one last hug.

"Just so you know, he's crazy about you too." I commented as I began to walk back. I knew if I stayed then she would argue and say she didn't like him like that. But we all see it.

We got back in the car and began to drive. Cat wanted to drive. So we made sure we had our seat belts on. I love Cat, she's like a sister, but I get afraid when she drives. She's easily distracted at times. But we decided that we could all use showers, food and sleep. Comfortable sleep, as in a bed sleep. So she drove to a hotel where we got rooms. Andre, Robbie and I shared a room and the girls shared a room too. We decided that tomorrow we leave at 10 a.m. After a nice breakfast. We all need some relaxing, so we don't get too tensed.

Robbie was taking a shower first. Andre was on the couch with me, flipping through channels.

"So...what's the deal with you and Tori?" I asked suddenly. I watched as he shifter uncomfortably.

"Nothing." He replied, not breaking eye contact with the tv screen.

"Just so you know, when we were talking. She told me she was sad." I explained. He looked at me.

"Sad? Why?" He asked. I held back a smirk. I knew he still cared about her.

"She thinks you're mad at her. And she doesn't like it when you're mad at her. Want to know why?" I looked at him. He nodded slowly.

"Because she's crazy about you." I said. I saw his face brighten up and held myself together from grinning.

"R-really?" He stuttered. I nodded. Just then Robbie walked out of the bathroom.

"Alright my turn." I shouted as I grabbed my clothes and went in. I know I shouldn't get involved between Andre and Tori. But they like each other, its so damn obvious. They just need a push. Besides, Tori needs someone too.

I let the water hit my body. I closed my eyes and began to see Jade. Her smile that she let no one see but me. Her laugh that she use to only share with me. She was flawless to me. She was perfect. But then... I began to see her smile fade. I began to see tears run down her face. She's hurting. I know. And I can see her looking right at me. But she turns away and tries to hide her tears. Jade. I call out her name but she won't hear me. She beings to walk away. Jade! I shout her name but she only keeps walking. Come back, please. I beg but she begins to run instead. And I begin to chase her. I'm so close to her. I reach my hand and try to get a hold of her but then she disappears. She's gone with the wind. I look around for her. She's no where in sight. Where are you? Jade! I shout her name over and over again. Then darkness starts to set in and I'm lost. Everything is spinning and I can't hold on to anything. She's gone. I can't see her. But I hear her silent voice. I don't know what she's saying. But I follow the voice.

I heard a bang on the door. And jumped.

"Dude, hurry up!" Andre yelled. I realized I was still in the shower. I quickly rinsed my hair and began to step out. This is a fight. I'm not losing it.

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AN- Thanks for reading and please review. Peace~


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- Here's the 21st chapter, enjoy. I tried making it really long.

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. Jade's POV

I woke up early, really early. The sun hadn't even come up yet. But I couldn't sleep either way. What would be the point of laying in bed, wide awake and

wasting time? Exactly. I put on my jeans and a lose shirt and stuffed everything inside the bag. This is the day. I'm so close to getting there. But I'm scared.

I'm scared that if I start this life then I will soon forget my old life. And I don't want to forget it. I mean...all the tragic things that happened, I would want to

forget. But I know that I will never forget. Prof of it is inside my stomach right now. Laying in there and taking form. I don't want to forget all the happiness

that did happen. Like when I met Beck, the first time he told me he loved me. The first time I sang and everyone cheered. The first time I performed in a

play, when I got the lead. All those small moments of happiness, I don't want to forget them. Yet what do I have to remember them? Nothing but memories

that will soon fade away.

I walked towards the door and reached for the door nob slowly as if I were afraid to see what's on the other side. Nevertheless, I pulled it opened and

walked out, closing the door very slowly.

"You're up early." A voice came from behind me. I jumped and turned around. And we meet again, Alex...or was it Axell?

"Stalking me?" I replied shifting the weight of my bag on my shoulder. He chuckled but shook his head.

"Nah, I'm headed home. Portland, not too far from here." He said. Portland? This is weird...

"If you live in Portland then what are you doing here?" I asked, curiosity hit in and I couldn't help but to ask.

"I had a job here."

"Had?" I said with my eyebrow raised. He nodded.

"Yup. Had, as in I quit."

"Why'd you quit?" I asked again. I couldn't help it.

"Curious one, aren't you?" He smiled. I shrugged.

"Well, I miss my wife and kid. I don't want to be apart from them anymore. They're my life." He said. He has a kid and a wife? But he looks so young.

"How old are you?" I asked.

"24. My kid is turning 5 real soon. And it's a shame because I don't even know what she's like. I've been traveling so long that I only see her when I have

time. And that's just not good enough for me. I want to live life with her and watch her grow up. 5 years I wasted. I'm not about to waist any more years." He explained.

"Well, at least you seem to be a good father." Was all I could come up with. I began to walk to the front counter downstairs. He was following right behind

me, carrying his bag over his shoulder. I handed in my key and walked towards my car.

"Hey," He called out. I stopped and turned to look at him.

"You want to know how I know you're running away?" He asked coming closer. I rolled my eyes and took in a deep breath before letting it out.

"I'm not. But go ahead." I replied. He huffed.

"Because, you have the same look my wife did when she found out she was pregnant. She was your age, 17...she was in her senior year. And I was only

19. I told her that I would get a job and we would raise our baby together. But she had doubt. She was scared..." He paused and looked down.

"What happened?" I asked so quietly. He looked up.

"She left. She went to live with her cousin in Portland. But I followed her there. Believe me, she was not happy to see me. She yelled at me but I told her I

wasn't leaving. I knew she was scared, hell I was scared. Raising a kid at 19, hopes of going to college was over for us. That's why I went to finish high

school. But then I go and get her pregnant, and I am not the kind that would just walk away. So we had our baby girl but baby supplies...it wasn't cheap.

Truck driving pays. And it was the only job I could get at the time. No one wants a drop out. But now, I have another job back at Portland. Back where my baby girl is. I'm not going to deny that." He finished.

"So I'm telling you, running away won't help. Sooner or later, you're going to face your problems. Just like my wife did. And it'd be a whole lot easier if you

had someone by your side. So, go ahead and get to where ever you're going. But it won't help." He said. I stared at him.

"See ya, kid." He waved good bye as he headed to his truck. I watched as he climbed in and drove off. I stood there a moment before I got in my own car.

I sat in there, just thinking. He's right...running away won't solve anything. And I am scared. His wife, she was my age. I wonder what she would have

done if he didn't chase after her. But I bet she didn't make it impossible for him to find her. And she had her cousin to help so technicality she isn't

alone...ugh. Look at how pathetic I've become. Trying to make my situation worse than hers.

I sighed deeply before driving off. The feeling of anxiousness was rising up in my stomach again. Or was it the morning sickness? Well I found out it was

morning sickness when I ended up pulling over to the side of the rode and puking what wasn't even in my stomach. I felt the warmth of the sun on my back

as I bent down and threw up. I rinsed my mouth and tried to get that disgusting taste out of my mouth. I watched cars pass by and enjoyed the shinning

sun that rose in the horizon. Wonder how it can seem so close yet it's so far. I shook my head clear of thoughts and got into the car and began to drive. I

drove for hours, afraid to stop to any diner for food in case I meet that truck driver again. Though I'm sort of glad I met him. He made me think...? Or maybe

I already knew what I know just needed someone to reassure me...yeah, I don't even know what I'm talking about here.

My anxiety came back to me when I saw the big sign that said, "Welcome to Oregon". And I knew that this time, it wasn't my sickness. It was fear. I

checked my phone. But nothing...then again, why would I expect anything to be there? I drove until hell broke lose and I needed gas. God damnit...I'm so

close too! Only about 2 hours away. I walked into the store to pay for the gas but I went to the bathroom first. I looked...not good. All the marks on my

face have faded, you can still see the lines of the nails but its not too obvious, at least I hope its not.

I payed the man and filled up the tank before driving off again, and eating some chips. They sold sandwiches but I don't trust food in gas stations. Once,

Beck and I were heading Venice Beach and we stopped for gas, and he was hungry so he bought a sandwich and ate it. Even though I told him not to, he

ended up getting really sick and I had to take care of him. But it was one of those moments, that you wouldn't change.

I shook my head clear and rolled down the window, smelling that fresh sent of salted water. I could begin to see the ocean as I drove on the bridge.

Honestly I hate crossing bridges, I always get that "what if it breaks?" question in my head and then I get all freaked out about it. Beck use to make fun of

me because of it, he'd always say, "how can a girl like you, be scared of something like this?" and I'd just hit him or insult in some other way.

I felt a smile grow on my face as I remembered all the memories I shared with Beck. All the laughs we had, all the fun we had, the happiness he gave me...I'll miss that.

Before time could go by and faster, I was already passing by all the other beach houses crowded together. Mom use to hate being so close to other

people, that's why our house was so isolated. Many people thought it was because I was a witch of something but it was actually because of my mom. She

had a huge issue with being around too many people. Which I don't understand considering the fact that she has...had... to be around many people in her

work. So when she decided to build a beach house, she made it as far as possible from everyone else. The house she built was on the other side of the

crowded houses. It was on a small hill, so small you could barley call it a hill (more like a bump), we had the best view to the ocean. It was like any other

house, faded blue house, 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms. A huge deck, a small tower on top (it use to be mine when I was younger, I would pretend to be a

princess and wait for my prince to come) and a garage with...a car in it? What?

I parked right in front of the house, right on the curve. I got out and walked to the front door. I knocked on it, who the hell is in here? I swear to god, if it's

my dad I'll ki-. I stared at the woman who just opened the door. She had blond hair, blue eyes and was in perfect shape. Wow, she's a barbie doll.

"Jade?" She said in shock. I frowned at her. She smiled.

"You probably don't remember me, I use to take care of you when you were still in diapers. But, oh! You've grown so much!" She cheered, eying me.

"Um...w-what are you doing here?" I asked. She looked surprised. Well, ok it sounded rude but this is my house.

"Your father...he rented this house to us. After what happened...to your mother, he said he wanted to get rid of everything that reminded him of her. So he

let us rent it." She explained.

"This is my house, though! He can't do that...wait...us?" I asked, letting her words sink in.

"Oh, yes. Me and my daughter, Lila. She's 14. Um, here why don't we go inside. We can talk about it." She offered, stepping aside to let me in. I hesitated

but entered. Its just like I remembered. The door opened straight to the living room on the left. The living room was still the same. The large screen TV, the

red couch, a black piano and the small coffee table. The doors behind the couch, about 2 yards away, were closed. But behind the door was the grand

kitchen and the dinning room. To the right of the entrance door were stairs. They led to the bedrooms, it was my parents, mine and a guest bedroom. The

extra one, my dad had turned into his study.

I followed her as she moved to the couch. I sat down and she went to open the windows that showed the view to the ocean. Then the doors behind the

kitchen flew opened. And in came a young girl. Blond, just like her mother but she had green eyes. She was dressed all in black, wearing heavily eye liner.

She glared at me and then at her mom.

"Lila, this is Jade. Jade this is my daughter Lila." She introduced her. I smiled lightly at Lila but she only glared at me. Then she ran upstairs.

"I'm sorry...she's been acting out lately. I don't even know why. She's changed so much." She paused and looked at me.

"I'm Karen by the way...so what brings you here?" She asked. I looked down.

"I um...I was planning to live here. This is, after all, my house. And I though it'd be empty." I said. She nodded slowly.

"Oh, I...I don't know what to say. Your father just rented us the house and then he went to go live in Seattle I believe. May I ask you something?" Karen

questioned. I nodded.

"Why are you not with your dad?" I froze for a second.

"I-I got emancipated. And I'll just dropped out of high school. I wanted to live here..." I said.

"Well...I mean this is your house, so I guess...we're just going to have to move." She said, sadness in her voice.

"No. It's ok. I mean, I just came here unexpected. So..I'll just find somewhere else to go. It's fine..." I said. She looked at me.

"But, this is your house and I don't want any legal trouble later on. Besides, where would you stay?" She asked. I stayed silent.

"Tell you what, why don't you stay? Live here." She compromised. I shook my head.

"No. I don't even know you that well." I replied. She smiled.

"Ok then, just stay until you figured out what to do, ok?" I nodded slowly.

"Well then, let's get you settled in, shall we?" She said. She's really nice, I think I might like her. We went out to my car and took out all my bags and went

to my old bedroom. It was just the same. The walls were a calm shade of pink with flowers on the bottom, yes I use to be girly when I was younger. The

bed was the same as well, still right next to the window. It was queen sized, canape hanging over it, fluffy stuffed animals on it. The couch facing the flat

screen TV. And in between was a small clear coffee table. I use to have tea parties on it. There were two doors. One for the bath room and the other for

the walk in closet. I was spoiled as can be. And right next to the couch, was another door. That door was my sanctuary. It had stairs behind it, stairs that

led to the small closed tower. The tower where I would watch the ocean. It had windows all around it and a long couch that leaned against it. I had a

second bed up there...I wonder if its all there.

"I put all your toys and clothes in a box and put them up in the attic, along with you're mothers stuff...so if you ever want, you can...get them." She said

pulling me out of my thoughts. I looked at her.

"Thanks..." I mumbled. She nodded.

"Well, I'll let you settle in." She told me. She was about to exit when she stopped.

"Oh, um, here." She handed me a key.

"Its for the door over there," She referred to the one that led to my tower.

"Lila use to sneak up there and drink so I locked it. But its yours now." She finished and then left, shutting the door behind her. I breathed deeply. This

brings back so many memories.

I walked to the closet and began unpacking my belongings. All my shoes, clothes, brushes. I put my small shampoo bottles that I took for the hotels in the

bathroom, along with my tooth brush and tooth paste.

I sat on my couch, facing at the blank TV screen.

"Who is she?" I heard an angry voice come from downstairs.

"Lila, please...she owns this house! Be damn grateful she isn't kicking us out!" Karen shouted.

"I...ugh!" Lila complained, stomping up stairs. I didn't even hear when she went downstairs...but I sure hear the way the door slammed. Below I could hear

her mothers silent sobs. I frowned. What the hell is that damn girls problem? She should be grateful she even has a mom...

I hesitated before walking downstairs. Her mom was sitting on the couch, drying her tears away quickly when she saw me.

"Jade, is something wrong?" She asked, trying to smile. I shook my head.

"No...But are you ok?" I questioned, her smile, if you could call it that, faded. She nodded slowly.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Lila, she's just acting out and I don't even know why." Karen explained.

"I...I can talk to her if you want." I offered. She stared at me, hope in her eyes.

"Yes, maybe she'll listen to someone close to her age. B-but not now. She already hates me, and making you talk to her will make her even more pissed

off." She said. I nodded.

"Ok. Um, I guess I'll be upstairs if you need anything." I concluded. I turned away and made my way up stairs but before I could step on the first step, I

stopped as Karen said my name.

"Can I ask you something, again?" She questioned. I walked towards her again.

"Sure, what is it?" I replied, almost whispering.

"Why are you here? I don't want to sound rude or anything but... last time I checked in, you were going to one of the best schools in California. Hollywood

arts, it takes a lot of talent to get in to this school. So why would you drop out?" She was curious. I didn't want to answer but its not like she's not going to

notice when my belly starts growing...or maybe I shouldn't let it grow...

"Well...it's just that I, um, I don't want to be in California anymore. Too many memories of my mom there. And like my dad, I want to forget." I lied. She

nodded but something told me she didn't quiet believe me. I guess she just didn't want to say anything. She said nothing so I walked away and went back

to my room. I grabbed the small key from the coffee table and went to the tower door. I opened it and walked up the stairs until I reached the top. It was

just like I remembered except there were beer bottles in the corner. Guess Lila still sneaked up here, probably picked the lock. I looked out to the ocean it

was always so peaceful. The bed was at the corner, the covers undone. Yup she defenetly came up here without her mom knowing. I walked over to the

small couch and laid on it. My mom use to come up here and bring me cakes for me and my friends. When they would come over for sleep overs, we would

sleep up here. I was happy here but then dad got transferred. So bye bye Oregon and hello California. When I found out we had to move, I was only 6 and

I threw the biggest tantrum. Fitting in was hard. Every one would make fun of me because I was new. They would all hate me for being "rich". It got so bad

that one day, they beat me up. I spent all my elementary school being the school's punching bag. In middle school, I decided I had enough and changed. I

changed my wardrobe and everything. Everyone that teased me were then afraid of me. And I took advantage of that. Every one stayed away from me.

For a school play, in 8th grade, I wanted a part in it, it seemed stupid and pointless but my mom was begging me to do it. So when I auditioned and sang,

even I was surprised with my voice and my acting skills. Opening night, the principle of Hollywood Arts came and saw me perform. He wanted me to go to

his school and I accepted. Then I met Beck, Cat, Andre and Robbie. And then Tori came along and all the other shit happened too.

When I snapped out of my thoughts, I realized that I had done what I came here to do. To start over. It just hit me that I will never go back. I will never

see them again...I thought about it all the way while I was coming here but actually being here and thinking about it, its different.

I felt tears run down my face. What's going to happen now?

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. Beck's POV

We were all exhausted and when I got out of the shower, Andre didn't even look at me but instead pushed by me angrily. I looked to Robbie and he only

shrugged.

"Don't ask because I don't know. All I know is that he got pissed off when you and Tori stayed behind. And I don't even get that because he's the one who

sort of blew up at her when you and Andre fought." Robbie said.

"What do you mean blew up on her?" I asked. Robbie looked away.

"Um, never mind. So uh, how was your shower?" He asked nervously.

"Good, now what do you mean blew up?" I asked again. He fidgeted.

"Well, he told her to run after you because he knew she liked you. But then Tori screamed that she didn't like you but she liked Andre. And Andre didn't

believe her and I guess now they're not talking. So I don't get why he's jealous if he rejected her." Robbie explained. I sat down on the bed and sighed.

"He needs to figure things out. Because, I like Tori, a lot bu-" I was cut off by Andre's voice that said,

"I knew it. You did like her!" Robbie and I jumped as we turned to him.

"No I don't." I said calmly.

"You just said "I like Tori a lot!" He repeated my words. I shook my head.

"Well maybe if you had let me finished my sentence you would know that I like her a lot but ONLY as a friend." I explained.

"Right." He replied sarcastically.

"Andre, if you like her then why didn't you tell her that? Instead of going off at her the other day!" Robbie said, I forgot he was even there.

"Because she doesn't like me!" Andre said. I couldn't help but to laugh.

"Wow, Andre...are you serious? Tori likes you! She even told you herself yet you didn't believe her! She's been talking to me about how much she likes you.

But she thinks you hate her. I'm not screwing up, you are." I said. Andre only starred at me.

"Now, you can go think about it while you shower. I'm going to bed. Night." I said getting ready to sleep.

"Wait, why aren't you in there?" I heard Robbie say.

"I forgot my pajama pants." He mumbled, going back to the bathroom, with I assume his pants. I heard the door close and Robbie digging threw his bag.

"Man! Don't ever put me in the bag! Its dark in there." I heard Rex's voice.

"Robbie...put him away!" I groaned.

"Excuse you. Am I depriving Pretty Boy of his sleep?" Rex commented. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at them.

"Rude!" Rex said. I sat up and glared at Robbie.

"If you don't put him away, I will chop him up in to little pieces while you sleep." I threatened. I get cranky when I'm tired.

"Putting him away now." Robbie replied quickly. He walked over to his bed and tucked Rex in. Wow... I think he has bigger issues then me. I took a deep

breath in and fell in to a deep sleep.

I groaned when I felt someone shaking me.

"Beck...Beck, get up. Time to go." Some one said shaking me. I opened my eyes only to be greeted by a puppet so close to my face. I screamed and fell off

the bed.

"Good. You're up." Robbie said, grabbing Rex.

"let's go. Andre went to go wake up the girls." He told me, putting his things in his bag. I got up and glared at him. I went to the bathroom and got ready. Within 10 minutes I was ready to go.

"where's Andre?" I asked.

"I told you, he went to go wake up the girls. He's probably already loading up the car." Robbie said swinging the bag over his shoulders. I followed his lead

and we walked downstairs to meet the girls and Andre who was checking us out.

"Hey." I said yawning at the end.

"Hey, so you sleep well?" Tori asked. We nodded.

"Good. At least you guys did." She mumbled.

"How come?" Robbie asked. Tori looked over at Cat who was smiling.

"She didn't let me sleep at all! All she wanted to do was have pillow fights, eat candy, watch movies, braid each others hair!" Tori exclaimed.

"Duh, it was a sleepover!" Cat defended her self, the smile never fading. Tori glared at her. And now that I noticed, she had bags under her eyes.

"THERE IS SLEEP IN SLEEPOVER! AND YOU DIDN'T LET ME SLEEP." Tori yelled. Cat looked hurt.

"You're so mean to me!" She said before stalking off.

"Ugh. I'll go get her." Robbie said following her out of the building.

"So..." I began.

"What?" She said cranky.

"Sorry, I'm just tired." She whispered leaning against me because she couldn't even stand on her own.

"Ok, why don't we get you in the car and you can sleep there." I told her, half dragging her to the car. Cat and Robbie were sitting in the back seat

because Cat refused to sit next to Tori. Tori stretched out on seat while I put the bags in the back. I climbed into the drivers seat and waited for Andre to

get on. He, after handing the key in, came and got in. I drove off and glanced over at Tori. Not even 10 minutes had gone by and she was already asleep.

Just like Cat who leaned against Robbie. Robbie was too busy listening to music and playing on his game boy to even bother moving her. I looked back to

the road and looked over at Andre who starred out the window. This is so awkward.

"So...lovely weather we're having." I said, mentally slapping myself. Lovely weather we're having? Really? God... Andre raised an eyebrow at me and chuckled.

"Wow, Beck." He replied. I smiled.

"I'm sorry...I was cranky last night. I didn't mean to blow off on you like that." He whispered. I nodded.

"It's cool. I was cranky too." I told him. He turned on the radio but it was on full volume and it woke the girls up with a shriek...Robbie as well. I think his

was the girly one. Andre quickly turned it down.

"I swear! Who the hell turned that thing on?" Tori exclaimed sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Ugh...Andre!" "Beck!" We shouted at the same time.

"That's not nice! I was sleeping." Cat said.

"Sorry, lil red. Just go back to sleep." Andre told them. I stayed quiet and glanced as Tori laid back down and Cat leaned back on Robbie, who didn't say

anything and just went back to playing. Soon they were back asleep and Andre made another attempt to turn on the radio. I glared at him and he backed

his hand away.

"Don't wake them up. Girls are soooooo cranky if you wake them up." I reminded him, referring to Jade. When she would sleep over, I would wake her up for breakfast but she would be so cranky and throw things at me. I would always laugh as she pouted and whined because she was tired.

I don't know where you are, Jade...but I promise. I will not stop chasing you.

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AN- OK so there you go. Again I tired to make it long because I already know my ending (: And it will be tragic, just letting you know now. And well this is a tragic story so...yeah. Please review. Thanks!


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- thanks for being patient. Tried making it lone again because I want to end the story. So please read and review.

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. Jade's POV

Sometimes we do things without fully understanding. We say we get it, we know how it is but do we actually know? Words are just words, the can

be empty and hold no meaning to them.

"Jade?" I heard a voice calling from downstairs. I paused before going down to the living room where I saw Karen. She was holding a box of pizza

in her hands and walking to place it on the kitchen table.

"Hey, I ordered food. I thought you must be hungry and well, my cooking isn't that well." Karen said. I smiled at her as I followed her to the dinning

area where Lila was sitting.

"It's about time. I'm starving!" Lila said. She was going to say something more but she noticed my presence.

"Guess you're still here." She told me.

"well I'm standing here. So obviously I still am." I replied. She glared at me. The room was filled with awkward silence until Karen's phone went off.

"You girls go ahead and eat, I'll be outside." She said as she answered her phone. I sat down and allowed Lila to get the first piece.

"Why are you here?" She suddenly asked. I looked at her and saw pure anger and hatred in her eyes.

"Because I just am." I said.

"You're not welcomed here." She snapped. I tried to hold back a chuckle but failed.

"To your mom I am." I told her as I took a bite of my pizza.

"My mom doesn't know anything. She's stupid." Lila sneered. What the hell is this stupid little bitch's problem?

"You seriously need to give her some respect." I told her but she only rolled her eyes.

"Have you forgotten that she's the one putting a roof over your head? Or that she's the one who paid for this pizza you're eating? Or the fact that

she let's you out. Because if I were in charge, I'd lock you up in your room and let you rot." I said. She clenched her teeth.

"You're depressed, I get it. But that doesn't mean you have to go around and make everyone else deal with your shit." I exclaimed. Her head

looked like it might explode with anger but she kept quiet.

"What, don't have anything to say? Why? Because you're not use to having someone talk back to you?" I continued.

"You don't know what I'm going through!" She exclaimed. I rolled my eyes.

"That's what everyone says when they have nothing better to say. And I'm not going to know what you're going through unless you tell me. And

maybe then I can understand where you're coming from and maybe I can help." I said. She looked down.

"So what's it going to be?" I asked. She continued to look down but after a few minutes, her head shot back up. And all the hatred and anger was

gone from her eyes and replaced by pain and hurt. She was a tough girl, so she wouldn't cry in front of me. But when she goes back to isolating

herself, she lets it all out and cries. She'll put on an act that makes her feel tough but she's not tough, she's broken. And she'll deny help even

though she knows she needs it.

"I'm here all the time. So when you're ready. I'll be waiting." I said. She opened her mouth to speak but the front door opened and Karen came in.

"So, how's it going?" She asked with a smile in her face. I wonder, does that smile ever fade? Or is it only there when she's around people. Does everyone hide behind a mask?

Lila excused herself in a low voice and grabbed her plate before heading to her room. I didn't reply but just starred at my food.

"I'm sorry if she said something. I...I just don't know what to do with her sometimes. I mean, a mother does everything to keep her child safe. Yet I

feel like I failed every day." She said. I couldn't think of anything to say so I just nodded.

I excused myself after I had finished eating and headed back to my room. I paused in front of Lila's room. I wanted to talk to her but I decided not

to. When I opened the door to my room, I was surprised to see her sitting on my bed. She looked at me and I stayed in my door way.

"You want to talk." I assumed. She only nodded. I walked slowly in, closing the door behind me and locking it. I was worried she would do something.

"So..." I started, taking a seat next to her.

"Have you had sex before?" She asked bluntly. I held my breath.

"Y-yes..." I whispered, though would it still be called sex even if you were forced?

"Did you?" I asked. She dropped her head but nodded slowly.

"I...i got pregnant." She whispered so low that I almost missed it.

"But... I did something terrible." She continued. I shut my eyes, thinking of what she did.

"I had an abortion..." She said. She broke into tears and I didn't know what to say or do. I just held her shaking hand.

"But... I-I'm not s-sad that I got it." She spoke again after a few minutes. I looked at her and she raised her head. She took in a deep breath and held it before letting it out.

"Then why our you sad?" I asked. She swallowed hard.

"Because I'm..relieved I had it. I'm happy that I didn't have to go through with it. And it makes me sad that I'm not sad about killing it..." She said.

My heart skipped a beat. Is it really possible to feel that way? Wouldn't they at least feel a bit of remorse?

"Does your mom know?" I questioned in a shaky voice. She shook her head.

"M-my friend's cousin works at the clinic. She's a doctor there and she helped me get rid of it...but you can't tell my mom! My mom w-will hate me! Please d-don't tell her!" She begged. I hesitated but nodded.

"I won't... the doctor...where did you go?" I asked though I was not sure why I asked. It was just empty words that came out without warning.

"Um, it-it's down town. I, um, have her number if you want to get-"

"No. I-I'm not pregnant. I just want to...investigate." I lied. She whipped away her tears and nodded. She stood up and reached into her pocket to take out her phone.

"Here's the number." She said handing me the phone. I went to my drawer and took grabbed my phone. I copied down the number and gave her back her phone.

"Are you..?" She asked. I shook my head, knowing what she was going to ask.

"If you need anything else...I'll be here." I said. She smiled, she looks better when she smiles, and walked out of my room. I took in a deep breath.

I have the number...but should I? I mean she doesn't feel sad or remorse. And maybe I won't either. Maybe all my thinking is wrong. Maybe I won't even feel bad. I'm just being paranoid, that's all.

I just need to take a walk, and forget about this.

I walked to my closet and took out a pair of shorts and a black plain t-shirt. I changed my clothes and searched for my sandals. A walk in the beach won't be bad, besides I need air.

I grabbed my clothes and headed downstairs where Karen was sitting on the couch and typing in her laptop.

"I'm going for a walk." I said. She smiled and nodded.

I stepped into the warm weather and felt the warm breeze hit my body. I searched for the hidden path I use to take down to the beach when I

was little. I stumbled down and reached the sand. The hot sand sank into my sandals as I took them off. I felt the sand between my toes and

began walking to the shore. I was surprised to find the shore empty. Most people were on the other side, swimming and laughing and having fun.

Only a few couples were walking around here.

I went to the edge of the ocean and let the water crash into my feet. I watched as it left shells on the sand before dragging them back into the

water. The water isn't as warm as I remember. It seems colder now, not even the warmth of the sun can do anything about it. I reached into my

back pocket and took out the phone.

That question still linger in my mind. I have doubts and fears but I have hope. I don't know what to do... raising a kid by myself. I have the money

but not the experience. I don't have any support. Karen would probably kick me out, she's protective of her child and she probably wouldn't want a

pregnant teen to influence Lila.

I opened my phone and went to my contact. I stared at the mocking number. This isn't a problem that I can mess up and just try again later. This is

a get it right or get it wrong and there's not turning back type of thing. If I do this... I won't have to go with the pain of child birth. A-and I can go

to my senior year in another high school. And I can go to college. I can become what I always wanted to be...and I won't have to deal with a crying

baby. I won't have to watch the baby grow up and have them question about where their dad is or who he was. My life would be less

complicated...right?

I looked at the ocean, it looks so peaceful. The sound of crashing waves and birds floating above. The sound of laughter from the other side. I

looked back at the phone number and dialed it. My hand was shaking as I put it to my ear.

"Woman's Special Clinic, sectary Daisy speaking. How may I help you?" The other voice said. I wanted to speak but words could not find there way out.

"Hello?" Daisy asked.

"S-sorry...h-how can I get an appointment?" I asked. My heart sped up with every second that went by, my legs were shaking and was it me or did the water get so much colder?

"Well, ma'am, you'll have to come down and take a number. When your number is called you go in and talk to a doctor where he or she will give

you a date, a time and any other information you want. Or you can just come in and take a look at our brochures before you decide." She explained.

"T-thanks." My voice came out weak. I hung out and before I even realized it, tears were coming down from my face. I don't want to...but I feel like

I have to. And I know that if Beck were here he would tell me what to do and to be strong but he's not here. I pushed him away. And now I'm lost

and scared. I don't know what to do anymore. Please, Beck...I need you.

I refused to listen to my thoughts. I'm not going to have this baby and that's it. Even if I have doubts. I am not going to listen to them. I've already

thought of the good things that would come out of not having a kid so, there. That should be good enough.

I walked back to the house and went straight into my rooms to grab my car keys. I rushed back out of the house and to my car, ignoring what ever

Karen said. I sat in my car for a while and went to Google Maps on my phone. Thank god for internet. We'd all be screwed if it didn't exist, honestly

I don't know how they use to live before internet came along. I searched for Woman's Special Clinic. It was only 15 minutes away.

I drove down there, passing all the stores that I use to go to. The bakery "Lil Annie's" use to be my favorite. Their chocolate cake tasted so good. I

was a regular customer. I even had my own table. They reserved it just for me. Ms. Anne (AKA Annie) owns the shop, her daddy named it after her

when she was little. When she was my age, she use to babysit me. My parents always going to fancy places, and Anne would always watch after

me. She was the best, we would stay up late, she would always sneak my a slice of cake from her daddy's shop and give it to me. One time we

stayed up all night watching movies. And when my parents came home, they didn't even care. They just said goodnight and went to bed. They

were always to tired to say something. I should stop by later, after I come back from the Clinic.

I went to the building and parked my car. I waited until there was no one in sight. I don't want to be seen, even though I don't know anyone.

I walked as fast as I could into the small building. I saw only 5 other woman sitting on the chairs. One of them was filling out a paper and the rest

were either texting or reading a magazine. But there was one that caught my attention. She had blond hair, wore an oversize sweater and

shades. She sat in the corner and her leg kept shaking.

"Can I help you?" A voice said that made me jump a little. I turned my head to the counter and nodded as I walked in.

"I-I'd like to make an appointment, please." I told her. She nodded and handed me a number, along with some paper.

"I need you to fill this out." She said and she eyed my carefully. I could feel my legs shake.

"If you're under 18 you need to have parent or guardian's permission." She said steadily. I nodded.

"I'm over 18." I whispered before taking the clipboard and sitting down next to the nervous blond.

"They lie, you know." She suddenly spoke. I looked at her.

"You don't have to be over 18. Hell, they don't even ask for your real age. They just want an age. So don't worry about it." The blond said. I

nodded. Her voice seemed anxious but not a hint of fear. It was like she just wanted to get rid of what was in her body.

"So how old are you, really?" She asked again as I began to fill out the paper work. I glanced up and then at the counter lady who was too busy

on the computer.

"17. You?" I replied. She nodded and looked around the room.

"19" She said, "Name's Jessie by the way."

"Jade. C-can I ask you something?" I asked as I put the clipboard aside.

"Sure. What's up?"  
"D-does it hurt? I mean...how does it feel after wards?" I asked. She sighed. Just as she was about to talk, the sectary called for "Kelly". And then

a ginger walked into the hall. Only 4 left, including Jessie.

"It's different for everyone. For me, the first time I had it done was easy and quick. I didn't really feel anything after wards. It just went back to

being like I was before I found out I was knocked up." She explained. I nodded.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine." She said. As in cue, her name was called. She winked at me before getting up. I watched her disappear around the

corner. I got up and handed my paper in. She took it from me and I sat back down.

Time went by and I watched as the others walked in. I waited and waited to see Jessie walk out but she never did. I held my breath when they

called my name. I stood up and felt like just running out the door and never looking back. But I followed the lady through the narrow hallway. A

door opened and a doctor walked out. I glanced in to the room and saw Jessie lying on her back on a hospital table. My heart sped up and the lady

tugged my shirt. I began walking after her but I wanted to burst into Jessie's room to see if she was ok.

"Wait here, Doctor Mill will be with you in just a moment." The lady said before gently shoving me into the office. I sat on the chair and my leg

began to shake up and down. I looked around, trying to focus on anything. But it was all so dull. There was no paintings, just empty spaces of

walls. The desk was really neat, only my information sheet and a portfolio on the desk, along with a computer and a name plate. Not even a

picture. Nothing. It was like this office had no personality. The door behind me opened and I heard the doctor's foot pace come around me. The

doctor seems really young, maybe late 20's or early 30's. She smiled warmly at me and sat down.

"Hello, Jade. My name is Patricia Mill. So you want to set up an appointment, is that correct?" She asked, typing in her computer.

"Y-yes." I stuttered.

"Ok, so let's talk first. Any questions? Any concerns?" She asked looking straight at me. I wanted to ask so many things but I just couldn't put them into sentences. So I just shook my head instead.

"Oh, well, ok. This is a safe procedure, not too many complications. You won't feel a things, we'll put you to sleep so don't worry about that. As for

the aftermath, you may feel a bit sore. A bit discomfort but nothing too serious. Advil works great for the pain. The emotional part of this, is very

serious. We offer group therapy for any who needs to talk about this." She explained. I nodded in agreement.

"So, how far along are you?" Dr. Mill asked.

"I'm 2 months in." I replied softly. She nodded and smiled.

"Well that's good. Perfect timing. We usually don't do it anytime after 2 months. It could harm you. And the baby hasn't taken form yet." She spoke.

I flinched when she said that word. Baby...I can't hear that word.

"How much does it cost?" I asked. She gave out a small sigh before responding.

"Well, we charge $350 but if you are interested on getting therapy for this, it's only $20 more."

"No...I just want i-it g-gone." I stuttered. She nodded.

"So can I get an appointment anytime soon?" I asked. She looked surprised. Did I look like I was going to back out?

"If you really want to-"

"I do." I cut her off. She sighed but smiled.

"You'll have to pay the same day you get it done. Right before, ok?" She asked. I nodded in agreement.

'Then let's take a look, shall we?" She told me as she pulled up her schedule on the computer.

"I have an opening...Tuesday, which is two days from now. What time would be good for you?" She said.

"I- uh- it doesn't matter. Which ever one." I said. She took out a pink card and put on the date and time of my appointment.

"Here you go. And I will see you Tuesday at 8 a.m." She handed me the card. I gave her a weak smile and took the card. I shook her hand and

walked out of her office as fast as I could. My heart was pumping so loud I could hear the noise run through my ears.

I walked to the car and sat at in it for a moment. I stared at the card. Am I really going to do this? Ugh! Why can't I just drop it already? I just need

to get through two more days and I get rid of this problem. That's all it takes, I just need to hold on just a little longer.

I began to drive and as I had promised myself, I stopped at Lil Annie's bakery shop. When I stepped in the aroma of sweet chocolate treats and

fresh bread came to me. The shop was crowded with people looking around for what to buy. I walked to the counter, waiting in line for everyone

to pay. When it was my turn I saw the same face that took care of me.

"One slice of Chunky Chocolate Cake, please" I ordered. Her eyes met mine and a huge smile came upon her face.

"My, my! If it isn't Jade West! Oh darling, how have you been?" Ms. Anne asked.

"I'm good. Just coming back and visiting for a while." I replied.

"I heard about your mother...I am so sorry for your loss. That women was just so amazing. She was so kind and caring." She said. I tensed up a bit when she mentioned my mother.

I didn't want to talk about her. I know that if she was still here, she would have yelled at me for even considering having an abortion. But I rather not think of that.

"Wait over there and I'll have them give you your cake. And don't worry hun, this one is on the house." She said. I smiled at her and nodded. I

stepped away and let others get to the counter. I waited for a while before getting it. Ms. Anne waved good bye as I left happily with this delicious

cake. I was tempted to eat it but I saved it until I got back to the house.

By the time I got back home, the sunlight was fading and nightfall was about to take over. I walked inside and saw no one was there. I went

straight to my room, not wanting to talk to anyone. I shut the door and turned on the light. I went up to my tower and sat on the couch. I watched

the way the waves rose up before crashing down. The way the birds suddenly disappeared. And how the light diminished. I opened the cake box

and inhaled the chocolate sent. I could feel my stomach growing for it. I took a bite out of it and out of the corner of my eye I saw the first star out

tonight. I wondered if the whole make-a-wish-and-it-comes-true thing really works. Or if it was just a stupid thing that parents told their children to

get their hopes up and make them look forward to something. Thinking back, I don't remember ever trying that... I wonder...No, no,no! Jade, you

will not try some foolish trick.

I refused to wish on a star so I just enjoyed my cake.

.

.

. Beck's POV

We traveled down the streets of California for what seemed years. Hour after hour we had to stop for some reason. We either had to get gas for

the car, or we got hungry or Cat needed to use the bathroom. Jade was right when she said Cat had the bladder of a squirrel.

My eyes wanted to drift off, I had been driving most of the time. Except now the wheel was given to Robbie. And I was afraid to fall asleep and

wake up in a hospital bed. But the more I resisted in falling asleep, the more tired I got. So I let my eyes close for a moment. But as soon as I did

that, I felt the car stop moving and Robbie pushed against the brakes hard, and I sat up quickly when I leaned forward. But the seat belt kept me

in place. I heard Tori squeak with Cat and Andre (who rode all the way on the back) fell out of his seat as he was lying down and sleeping.

"Hey! What happened?" Tori asked. We all turned our full attention to Robbie.

"Well...I don't know!" He replied. I frowned.

"What do you mean you don't know? You have to know! You're the one driving." Tori said. I leaned over to Robbie's seat and saw what was wrong.

"Did you not see you needed gas? You were suppose to stop and put in gas." I told him firmly.

"I know! And I was going to! There was a big sign that said "Gas station two miles ahead" he said quoting the sign.

"But we ran out before I even got to it." He whispered. I tried to hold back a remark. This is just wasting time, when we could be on the road and looking for Jade.

"ok well how far are we from the gas station?" Cat asked.

"Like maybe 10 minutes...with a car." He guessed.

"Ok. So why don't we just go there and bring some gas back to put in the car. That way it will work." Cat said implying a "duh" sound at the end.

"Cat...how do we get there?" Tori asked trying to get Cat to realize the problem.

"Take the car! Duh." Cat replied. I watched as Andre and Robbie shook their head. And Tori slapped her forehead. I bit my lip and said nothing.

"H-how are we suppose to do that if the car isn't working?" Tori said through annoyance.

"Oh...oh! Well we can just walk!" She cheered.

"That's true...and we can just put some gas in a soda bottle or something, bring it back here and fill it up." Tori added.

"Yeah, yeah. And once we get it working we can just go and fill it up more." Robbie said. We all agreed.

"Wait, hold on. Why don't me, Tori and Andre go to the store while Robbie and Cat stay guarding the car. You know, just in case anyone tries to take it." I said. We all agreed except Andre.

"Do you really think it's a good idea to leave Robbie and Cat alone...with a car...?" He asked. We exchanged look at them. Robbie was fighting with Rex about the car and Cat was twirling her hair and smiling.

"Ok so how about you stay and Tori, Cat and I will go." I said. Andre hesitated but nodded. I pulled Cat along and we began walking to the store. Andre said that it would take at least 15 to 20 minutes walking. So we had to hurry up.

"I'm so glad it's a nice day today!" Cat suddenly said.

"Yeah, it's not that bad." Tori agreed. We fell silent for a while. I had nothing to say really. Cat would say some things to start a conversation but it never worked.

A car honked at us and made us jump. It pulled over about 7 feet from us and I could see two large figures inside.

"Who are they?" Tori asked as we paused.  
The windows were tinted and I could not make out a face.

"Don't know. Just stay close." I whispered as the doors of the car opened. We watched as a tall man stepped out of the car. He was big and had a lot of muscle. I stepped forward and put Tori and Cat behind me.

"Hey, where you kids heading?" He asked in a rough voice.

"To the gas station." I replied. He eyed Tori and made a move to get closer to her but she backed away.

"Can we help you?" I asked.

"No. Just wondering why three kids were walking on the streets. That's all..." He said glaring at me.

"Say you got any cell phones on you?" He asked. I shook my head and was going to reply but Cat pipped up.

"I have one! See! It's pink and has-" She didn't get to finish showing her phone because he snatched it and threw it onto the streets where a tuck had passed over it and crushed it. She gasped.

"Hey!" She exclaimed. He smirked and looked down at my shoes.

"Nice shoes...what size are you?" He asked. And it was then that I realized that he was going to steal from us. I didn't answer but instead grabbed Tori's and Cat's hand and began to walk away.

"Is he following us?" I whispered to them.

"No. He's just looking at us." Tori replied in a low voice as we continued to walk.

"Ok. If he starts walking, we run." I said to them.

"Beck...I think we should start running now." Tori told me. I glanced back and he was walking fast to us. I felt as Cat and Tori slipped out of my hold and began to run. I hesitated but caught up to them.

"Is...he...behind...us...?" Tori said while running. I glanced back and he had stopped running and just watched us run.

"No. But don't stop running. Look, we're almost there! I can see the sign to the gas station." I said as we ran.

We got to the store and tried catching our breaths. I ignored all the strange looks we received.

"You ok?" I asked Cat as she was practically hyperventilating. She only nodded and finally caught her breath.

"Let's just get the gas and go." Tori said. I nodded and bough a litter coke drink. We went outside and drank some of it but spilled the rest of it out.

"Let's fill it up." Cat said. I paid the lady and she eyed us as we filled up the bottle.

"God, I can't wait to get back." Tori said. I nodded as I carried the bottle. We began walking back but we paused when we saw that the car was still there. Except it was turned off and the two men were gone.

"What do we do now?" Cat asked.

"Don't know...call Andre." I told Tori. She nodded and took out her phone. I glanced at the time and it read 4:49 p.m.

She had him on speaker and we listened as it rang. He picked up on the 4th ring.

"Hey. Are you guys on your way back? Robbie here keeps annoying me with his puppet." Andre said. In the background you could hear Robbie yell "he's not a puppet."

"We might have a problem." I said.

"What kind of problem?"

"well...two men are like stalking us I guess. And we can't get past them. I see there car but no them. So..." My voice trailed off.

"Look just stay on the line with me and walk by. Keep the girls right next to you and walk as fast as you can." Andre advised.

"We're not defenseless you know! I took Karate when I was 8. And my dad's a cop so I know how to pin someone to the ground." Tori exclaimed.

"Sorry..." Was all Andre could think of. I did as he said and I had them walk side by side me. We approached the car and my heart beat got faster.

"Going somewhere?" I heard a voice from behind us. Then the phone was taken from my hand and thrown. We turned around and saw a man but

this was another man. It was not the same one as before. The pushed Tori and Cat behind me. I glared at him and suddenly I heard Cat's scream.

I turned around and looked at her as she was pressed against the first man's chest. He held her tight and wrapped his arm around her neck. She tried to fight him off but he was too strong. I held Tori's hand and held her tight.

"Let her go!" I shouted. But he only smirked. The second man pushed past me and stood by the first man. I wondered how no fucking cars could

see this! For god's sake, there were cars passing by every second! Why would none of them stop and help? This just shows how corrupt the world is.

"You don't give the orders. Now why don't you two empty out your pockets." He said. I glanced at Tori and then back at Cat. I had no choice but to do as I was told. I took out my wallet, which he snatched away, along with my Ipod and phone.

"That's it." I said.

"And what about you princess?" He referred to Tori.

"I have nothing else. You took my phone. And that's all I had." She stayed calm.

"Yeah right." The second man said as he stepped towards us. But I stepped in front of Tori.

"Don't touch her. And let my friend go!" I yelled. He shook his head and grabbed me by the shirt.

"No." He said as he threw me to the ground. I heard Tori shout my name. I tried to get up but he kicked me and knocked the breath out of me.

"Leave him alone!" I heard Tori cry. But I just felt the increasing pain on my stomach. After a few more kicks, it all stopped. I tried to get up but he picked me up by the shirt and held me to his face. Then I felt his fist connect to my face. And once again I fell to the ground.

Everything began to fade away as I felt warm liquid run down my face.

I woke up to someone calling my name. I tried sitting up but I was pushed back down.

"Beck?" I heard Andre's voice. I opened my eyes and saw my surroundings. I saw Andre and Robbie around me. I was lying on a soft bed.

"W-what happened?" I asked. But only moments after I remembered.

"Cat! Where is she?" I asked panicking.

"Don't worry. She's fine. They didn't hurt her. They just scared her and Tori. They mugged you guys and then left. Tori's with Cat in the other room. They're just relaxing." He said. I was able to sit up and felt sore and my face hurt.

"They didn't break anything. Just a bruise on your stomach and a messed up lip...and a black eye. But that's all." Robbie said.

"What time is it?" I asked looking around, what seemed to be a hotel room.

"It's 9. Andre knew something was wrong when he heard the phone go dead. So he went to go look for you guys. He was there in time to see the

two guys run off. Then he sent Cat and Tori back to me. We got the car working, picked you two up and found a hotel. We stopped at a store to

get some bandages." Robbie explained. I nodded and yawned. But it hurt to make any movement at all.

Even though this pain I'm feeling right now is bad, I wonder if it'll be much worse to Jade when she has the baby. I mean, I know that childbirth

hurts like crap, I just wish Jade didn't have to go through it. But it will bring us a baby. A baby that we will raise together. A baby that I will love

and protect. I was having doubts about being a father but I think I'll just have to deal with it. I am not giving up on Jade.

"Wait," I said after realizing something, "How long have we been in this hotel room?" I asked.

"We thought you needed rest and treating to. So after we got you and stopped at the store we came to the nearest hotel possible."

"But Jade! This is time we are wasting." I exclaimed.

"Beck, you're hurt right now. And right now it's best if you just rest for a while. We'll hit the road again tomorrow morning. And besides, we can get

there by Tuesday morning." Andre said but I shook my head. That's two days to wait! We could have been there by tomorrow night, Monday night!

And now because of this we're going to get there Tuesday. No, we need to go now.

"No. Get the girls, We're leaving. We need to find Jade." I told him.

"Beck! Stop. You need to rest." Robbie said. I ignored him.

"No! We need to go to the beach house and check. She might be there! We need to go now." I yelled. Andre looked a me concerned.

"Look, you're hurt and right now you need to take care of you." He replied in a calm voice.

"No!" I shouted.

"Beck, for god sakes, listen to your self!" Robbie suddenly exclaimed. I frowned at him.

"I know you love Jade. But you're hurt and you can barley move. Can you at least think about your self for once? I know we're on this trip to find

Jade but you have to take care of yourself too. You're in bed, barely moving without pain and all you care about it finding Jade. I know you're

worried about her and you love her with all your heart...but you need to think about how you are." Robbie concluded his speech.

"Yeah, Beck." Andre agreed.

"Robbie has a point. Look at you man, you are obsessing over finding her. It's a good thing you want to find her and we will but please...just stop and breathe for a moment." He said.

But how am I suppose to do that? I just want to be with her! Yes I am in pain but none of this is compared to what she's going through. She's

alone and pregnant. She needs me just as much as I need her. They just don't understand...

I stayed quiet and made an attempt to get up but Robbie pushed me down. There was a knock on the door and then Tori came in. I saw her smiled at me and wave. But it was a weak smile and a forced wave.

"How's Cat?" I heard Robbie ask.

"She's asleep. She was crying... she was so scared and it just got to me. Seeing her cry herself to sleep was just awful! She's so innocent, that shouldn't have happened to her. Now she has to go around with a big bruise on her face." Tori spoke to them.

"Bruise? You said Cat was ok." I said to Andre and Robbie.

"Oh...uh, um, She...they just hit her but she's fine. She's just scared." Tori quickly recovered, sparing a sorry look to Andre.

"Why don't we just go to sleep and talk about it tomorrow in the morning." Tori said as she left the room. Robbie and Andre exchanged looks.

"She has a point. Let's just get some sleep." He said. I laid back down and let my eyes close again.

I am fine...I'll be fine when I find Jade. And then we'll start our family. Then we'll be happy...

.

.

.

AN- Soooo? Good, bad? Yes, no? Please leave a comment (:

Thanks!

I added the ending because I needed them to get delayed so Jade can get the appointment done. But will she do it? I don't know...I'm not that cruel...right? (: review please 3 oh and I MIGHT be able to post up another chapter next week b/c it's spring break :D but i'm not sure yet, I have to see if i'm going on a trip of something (: Happy...spring? (:


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- Here you go (:

You know what to do, thanks 3

.

.

.Jade's POV

Monday morning came around, I had slept in most of the day. When I woke up it was already half past noon. I wonder how tired must I have been.

I heard no noise at all. I went downstairs and found Lila sitting on the couch with the lap top on.

"There's breakfast in the kitchen if your hungry." She said as I stood on the last step of the stair case.

"She left to work?" I asked.

"Yup. She'll be back by 7 p.m. I usually get dinner started." Lila told me. I nodded, though she couldn't see it. I headed to the kitchen and saw a

plate with two pancakes, two bacon strips and sausage. It looked so good but I couldn't eat it. I was hungry, my stomach was begging for food

but when I thought of eating it, it made me sick.

"You know, Dr. Mill came by this morning." Lila spoke. I froze but tried not to show any sign of fear.

"Who's that?" I asked, trying to act as if I didn't know.

"Don't act like you don't know. She wanted to check up on me, on how I was doing. She came after my mom left to go to work...And I told her

about you. When I said your name she looked surprised. She didn't tell me directly that you made an appointment with her. She only said that she

had met you already. So I'm only assuming." She explained.

"Yeah I met her. But you assumed wrong." I sneered. I walked over to her and sat next to her. Silence fell upon us until she dared to speak.

"Who's Beck?" She asked. I could feel my heart beat go faster and anxiety build up.

"He's called you several times. And you never pick up." She said.

"How do you know that?" I questioned. She reached into her pocket and pulled out my phone.

"You dropped it. I found in in the hallway." She answered handing it to me. I snatched it out of her hand and glared at her.

"You should have given it back! Who the hell do you think you are, going through my phone!" I exclaimed. She shrugged.

"I got bored. So if he like your ex?" She asked.

"This is my personal things! And I want you to stay the hell away from my stuff!" I yelled. She smirked.

"Someone had a bad break up. So why'd you guys break up? Did he find out you got pregnant? Does he even know your getting an abortion?" She

asked while smirking. I felt the urge to slap her but kept myself together.

"One, he isn't my boyfriend. He never was...and second of all, I am not pregnant and there will be know fuckin' abortion because I'm not a stupid

slut like you who opens her legs to any guy! So you need to stop all this non sense!" I screamed.

I didn't care how hateful I sounded. I don't need her invading my personal life. I don't want anyone to know because then they try to get inside my

mind and try to figure me out. Well I don't need anyone to figure me out.

I watched her storm out of the living room and go upstairs. I suddenly felt bad for yelling at her like that. It's just something about Beck and the

abortion made me snap. I don't want to think about Beck. I don't want to love him anymore. But I can't help it. He's perfect and I love him and I will

never stop loving him. Which gets me so pissed off because I know that I need to let him go. But how? How do I let go of someone that I've been

with for more than two years. Tell me because I can't figure it out.

I went to my room and laid down in my bed. I shifted and turned but I couldn't relax because Lila had her stupid music all the way up. When I

banged on her door and told her to lower the volume, she put it to the maximum. So I did what I had to do and went outside to the power box.

And I turned off all electricity. The music went dead and I heard her let out a frustrated scream. I walked back into the house and went to my room.

I heard nothing coming from that girl's room and worried. But I decided not to do anything about it. She's probably sulking in there after what I

said. I should feel bad, but I don't.

I went back to my bed and laid down. I can't keep living like this. So screw my plan. Tomorrow I get my abortion, get the cash and get the hell out

of this house. I'll just go stay at a hotel and then look for a house to buy or some shit. It would be better to isolate myself, sort of what Emily

Dickson did. She spent her life in her house and just wrote poetry. And now she's remembered as one of the best poets. Maybe that could be me

in years. I'll live alone, one day they'll find my dead body in the house and find all my work. They'll publish it and I'll become famous. I'll be the

famous dead girl. Ha. The irony...wait...is that irony? No, I don't think it is. God I swear if I keep talking to myself, I think I'll go insane. But hey,

maybe if I do then I'll be put in a mental ward. Then it'll be me and four walls. No one else to give me stress.

I sighed and sat up. I wasn't tired. Not even a bit, should be expected since I slept most of the day. So what do I do now? Maybe I should walk

around...but I'm sort of too lazy to go out. I remember when I use to get lazy, Beck-...

I held my breath in. Maybe I should go out. I need distraction anyways.

I got out of bed and slipped into jeans and an old t-shirt that belonged to Beck. But I didn't care at the moment...that and I just didn't feel like

changing. I walked out of the house and heard no noises from Lila's room. I wanted to just go back but went against my will and got into the car. I

drove into town center, usually something I going on. Sometimes performers show up and put on a show for the little kids.

As I parked I saw a huge crowd gathering around the huge field. Must be a game going on. I walked over to the crowd and slowly pushed my way

to see what was going on. But they weren't all looking at a game, they were looking at some protesters. And of course, they were protesting

abortion. Are you serious? Its like every where I go they just won't let me ignore it. I made up my mind...

I watched as they talked but I couldn't hear so I decided to move closer, until I was at the front row.

"These are innocent child's your killing! They haven't had a chance to live because all you stupid women are killing them!" A lady yelled into the

microphones. But it wasn't just her, standing alone. It was more, maybe 20 other woman.

"How do you think they feel when you let them get sucked out? What if some sharp shit was sharped through you while you were in your mothers

womb? You trusted your mother to keep you safe until birth but what do some of you do? You betray your child's trust and have a doctor rip your

child out!" Another one said. I felt a bit sick. I tried not to think of it, but instead I stayed put. I should have just walked away but something was

keeping me there.

"Stop killing babies!" Another woman said. Then the first one that spoke was holding a baby. He was so cute and adorable, it made most of the

crowd go "Awe".

"This is what you are killing...please. Ladies, stop it. Let them live! Give them for adoption! Anything is better than abortion. For all you teenage

girls out there that got an abortion, its your own fault! You should have kept your legs crossed! If you get pregnant, then oh well! It's your

mistake! You deal with it!" She said. I bit my lip so hard I felt a bit of blood come out. And I felt as if every one where starring at me. I began

rubbing my arm, it was like every pair of eyes were on me yet no one was looking. Or so I thought but when I looked ahead, a lady that was

protesting was looking directly at me.

"Think before you choose. If you are cold heart-ed, you would do it. But prove to us that you're more than that." She said into the speaker while

looking at me. My legs began to shake and I stiffened up. I avoided her eye but I knew they were still on me. So I left, I fled like a coward. I left

just like always. I pushed by people and walked in no particular direction. I just walked and walked until I was at the board walk. It was right at

the edge of the ocean, so people could walk past during the days or at night with their loves. I whipped away the hint of blood that was on my lip.

I walked casually through it. Not many people were walking, most of them (I guess) are at the protest.

I walked around, sat and walked again until it was getting late. I ignored my hunger and went to my car. But somehow I ended up on the other

side of the town center. So I had to go through all that walking again just to get to my car. When I finally got to my car, I was exhausted. My legs

were too tired. Yet somehow I found my self parking in front of the house again. Karen seemed to be home already. I walked in and saw her in the

kitchen cooking. Her face was angry and when I shut the door, she looked up at me. She didn't smile at me though, she only glared. I didn't want

to speak.

"H-hi." I said trying to make my way up the stairs.

"Jade. We need to talk." She said in a firm voice. I nodded and made my way to the kitchen. What the hell did Lila do?

"Yes?" I asked.

"I came home early. And I found Lila crying." She explained. I titled my head slightly.

"I asked her what was wrong. And do you know what she said?" She asked. I stood up straight and shook my head. She took in a deep breath

before continuing.

"She told me that you called her a whore and that you threatened to tell everyone in town about how she sleeps with guys. And the fact that she

says that and you weren't here, that says something!" She raised her voice.

"I was in town yes, but I wasn't talking to anyone. And I didn't threaten her to anything!" I told her.

"Oh but you don't deny calling her a whore is that right?" She asked in a mocking tone.

"She went through my personal things! And yeah, I did call her a whore but she pissed me off!" I exclaimed.

"This is my house and you are living under my ruff! You do not call my daughter a whore! Do you understand that?" She yelled. I glared at her.

"No, Karen! This is not your house. It's mine! I own it! And I can sure as hell kick you and your stupid daughter out if I want to!" I screamed. Her

face dropped and I expected her to say something but she didn't. After a minute of silence passed by she finally spoke.

"You're right. This is your house and you can kick us out." She said softly. I wanted to reply but she didn't let me.

"Lila is at her aunts house. I don't want any legal trouble so don't worry. By the end of tomorrow, this house will be yours. I'll have Lila come in the

morning and pack her things. We'll stay at my sister's house until we find a new home." She told me.

"Karen-" I began but she shook her head.

"No." She whispered.

"Look, I'll move. You bought the house so..." I tried to tell her but she just shook her head. She ignored my attempts and left to her room. I felt like

just ripping off my hair and screaming. I wanted to throw everything that was in my way. I waited until I heard her door close before going up

stairs.

I shut the door behind me and let out a small frustrated scream. That stupid brat! Ugh! But..I can't blame her. It was all just a big trap. I should

have known to keep my mouth shut! I should have flipped over it! Maybe I can talk to Karen before I leave tomorrow...I almost forgot my

appointment was tomorrow.

I grabbed my PJ's and went to the bathroom. I needed a long and relaxing shower.

.

.

.Beck's POV

I woke up earlier than ever. Andre was still snoring and Robbie was huddled up next to Rex, mumbling about something. I wanted to wake them

up, but I couldn't do that. They needed rest. Just like I do but I can't help it if I worry. I keep thinking that Jade's alone and lost. I wonder if she's

out on the streets or sleeping in shelters. I...what if something happened to her? I just need to know how she is. If she doesn't want me to be

with her then ok. But I need to know how she's doing. And where she is. I won't even bother asking why she left, I'll just tell her that I don't care

and want to be with her. Jade, that's all I ever think about. I know that it's not healthy to keep thinking about her all the time like this. Because

then I get all depressed. Though I can't help it. And Andre...well he wants me to realizes that I shouldn't get too pressed but he doesn't

understand. If it were Tori in Jade's place, I'm sure he'd be the exact same. Its one of those things that you have to experience before can actually

talk.

Im not sure when I woke up, all I know is that when I did, the sun was up and bright. I jumped when I heard the door pounding. I sat up and

nearly fell when I went to go open it.

"Tori? What are you doing up so early?" I asked. But she had a panic expression on her face.\

"EARLY? It's 10 a.m! We were suppose to leave 3 hours ago." She explained but she got really quiet and turned a bit red when she looked at me. I

looked down and realized that I was only in my boxers.

"Shit. Just meet us downstairs. We'll be ready." I said as I shut the door on her face. I apologized through the door but she only mumbled

something I couldn't make out.

"Andre, Robbie" I began but Andre cut me off.

"We heard. Just hurry up!" He said as he put his pants on. I did the same and stuffed everything in my bad.

"Shouldn't we do the beds?" Robbie asked as Andre and I were heading out the door.

"No, just let the maids do it. But leave a tip." Andre told him. We walked downstairs and saw Cat turning in the keys.

"Hey. Where did Tori go?" I asked as I handed in my key as well.

"She went to go get the car." Cat said yawning. I lifted my bad over my shoulder and helped Cat with her bags too. We walked outside and Tori

honked at us.

"Hurry!" She shouted. We climbed in and then I realized that in less than 10 minutes we were all ready to go.

"Dude, that's the quickest time I ever spent on getting ready. Ugh, my hairs a mess." Tori said as I climbed into the front seat.

"Want me to drive?" I asked. She raised her eyebrow at me.

"No. I can drive well you know." She said. I put my hands up in defeat. She only smirked and began driving down the road.

"UGH! I'M HUNGRY!" Robbie shouted after 20 minutes had passed. We all groaned at his comment, expect Cat who had fallen asleep on Andre's

shoulder.

"Well, we'll get something to eat when we're closer. If you guys had remembered to put the alarm on then we would have time to stop." Tori said.

"Hey! You could have done that." I replied in defense.

"You guys always do it so I got use to it! Besides, I'm actually surprised you woke up late, Beck." She told me.

"I know. So am I. I remember waking up earlier but then I don't even know when I went back to sleep. I guess I was just really tired. And I have a

massive headache so I think that's enough for my defense." I explained. She only playfully rolled her eyes at me.

"Can we please just get something to eat?" Robbie whined.

"Alright already! Just wait until we hit a place." Andre said trying not to move so he wouldn't wake up Cat. Because when she wakes up...she gets

cranky. And a cranky Cat is something we don't need.

I shut my eyes and tried to ignore the main that come to me.

After about half an hour more of Robbie's whining, we finally got to a gas station. While I put gas in the car, Tori and Robbie went to the store to

get coffee for everyone, including a sleeping Cat, and some donuts or whatever food was available.

By the time they came back Cat was awake and Andre was stretching his shoulder.\

"Damn lil' Red, you may look small as hell but your head weighs a lot." He said.

"It's because I'm smart." She replied.

"Sure..." He mumbled sarcastically. She took offense and hit him. It was my turn to drive and we headed back on to the road.

"Finally I got food." Robbie commented taking a bite out of his...breakfast sandwich? I took a sip out of my coffee.

"I don't know how you can drink coffee." Cat said sipping her drink.

"Then what are you drinking?" Andre asked suspiciously.

"I gave her hot chocolate. I'm not letting Cat drink coffee while we're traveling. She's already hyper without it." Tori explained.

It was taking ages to get there. There was so much traffic and it made me wish I had a flying car like in Harry Potter. That was I could just fly out of this traffic.

As we kept moving, we were getting close to the reason of traffic. There was an accident up front but I couldn't see what had happened. I only

saw ambulances, and police cars on the scene. I caught glimpse of the smashed car and it just happened to look a lot like Jade's car. I held on to

my breath and gripped the wheel so hard that my knuckles turned white. I know it's not her but I could imagine if it was. And I would never get to

see her. Or what if something like that already happened? I would have no way in knowing. I hope and pray that she's safe. I wouldn't know who

to take my anger on. That bastard James for causing this. Or me for letting her go.

A loud honk brought me back to reality.

"Beck, go!" Tori said motioning for me to drive again. I checked my mirror and saw an angry man honking at me. I drove past the accident and

focused on the road again. With a quick glance at Tori I knew she was wondering what was wrong. If she doesn't ask then I won't say. Even if she

does ask I won't say so it doesn't really matter. I know they're a bit annoyed about me talking about Jade all the time. I could understand if they're

worried about me but I don't want to understand. I just want to get where we're going.

As we grew closer to the boarder to Oregon, everyone was complaining that they were hungry again. It having been 5 pm already. I pulled over at

a nice diner and parked. I watched as everyone got out of the car and stretched.

"Hey, aren't you coming?" Cat asked walking up to my side of the door. I lowered the window just a tad bit and shook my head.

"Nah. Not hungry." I told her with a small smile. Cat rolled her eyes and opened my door.

"Up. You're coming with me Mr." She said as she unbuckled my belt and began pulling me.

"Ok just let me get the keys." I said as I stepped out of the car.

"No! Now!" She told me pulling me away and shutting the door.

"CAT!" I exclaimed trying to open the car door.

"What's going on?" Robbie asked walking towards us, Tori and Andre right behind.

"He's mad because I pulled him out of the car." Cat explained.

"No! It's not that! Cat, you shut the door with the keys in the car!" I told her. Cat sighed.

"Then just open the door." She told me as if it were that simple.

"It's locked." I sighed. I heard her gasp and she ran around the car to see if any other door was opened. But of course, luck is never on my side so they were all locked.

"Ok, ok, let's not flip out." Andre tried calming us down. I glared at him.

"Cat, Tori and Robbie, go get food. And Beck and I will try to open the car." He explained. We all nodded and I watched as the three of them left.

"Why does this always happen? We keep getting delayed." I commented as Andre tried observing the car. As if by starring at it, it would open.

"We'll get there. Just...don't get your hopes up. You know she might not be there." He said in a low voice. I think he was hoping I wouldn't hear. I

wanted to make a remark but I knew he was right. I wish he weren't but there is still a chance she might not even be there. After all wasn't I the

one who said it would possibly be more likely that she wasn't there? I was the one who said that she hates beaches so if she hates beaches she

shouldn't be in a beach house? Especially since her mom owned the house. It would be to much for her to suppress all those memories...but I

know she's not weak. I keep thinking of her as if she were weak. As if she needs me to save her but truth is... she probably doesn't want me to.

She left for a reason, she told me to leave her alone, she doesn't answer my calls. Maybe she's trying to get away from me. Am I too much? What if

she actually does want me to leave her alone? She means half the things she says but the other half she doesn't mean. So what half does want

me to leave her alone?

"There!" I heard Andre's voice yell with relief. I looked at him blankly and he was smiling at the opened door. I didn't bother to ask how he did it, I

could probably just guess. He was holding a stick in his hand and the window was a bit cracked.

"Do you think she would prefer me to leave her alone?" I suddenly asked. His face went from happy to serious in a blink.

"Are you seriously even considering that?" He asked. I looked down.

"Look man, I haven't been together with a person for more than 2 years but I'm pretty sure it's impossible to love someone so much and then just stop for no reason." He explained.

"Then why'd she leave?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"Don't know. But she must have a pretty good damn reason." He said. I was about to reply but I saw Tori, Cat and Robbie come back with food.

"Yey! It's fixed...and it only took like 5 minutes!" Cat cheered.

"Try half an hours lil red." Andre murmured.

"She was playing pac man in there while we were waiting for our order. The lady in there is nice. And they have nice women bathrooms too."

Robbie said. We all stared at him when he commented about the women bathrooms.

"What? The men bathrooms was busy. And I needed to pee." He explained casually. I held back a comment and just got back into the drivers seat.

"No. It's my turn to drive, you can eat." Robbie pushed me off and got in instead.

"You go all the way in the back. I call the front seat now!" Cat ran to the front seat. I sighed and went all the way in the back, leaving Andre and

Tori in the middle. I grinned to myself as Tori handed me a burger and soda.

We began driving again and we were finally at the boarder to Oregon. There was a big bridge where the ocean swam under. Andre had to take

the wheel because Robbie began to freak out with his "What if the bridge falls?" To be honest, I never really liked to wonder that while crossing. It

freaked me out too. He was now sitting next to Tori...and practically squishing her too. His eyes were shut and he was holding on to Tori as if his

life depended on it.

"Robbie! Stop embarrassing your self and be a man!" Rex said. Robbie pulled away from a very flushed looking Tori.

"I am a man!" Robbie told Rex.

"Yeah, barely." Rex replied. I heard Tori groan as she laid back into her seat.

"The bridge is collapsing!" Andre suddenly yelled. Tori and I sat up quickly and Robbie shrieked.

"I'm joking!" Andre said as he broke into laughter. I frowned at him.

"Not cool Andre!" Tori exclaimed. But he only laughed harder while Cat giggled to herself.

I closed my eyes and sunk deeper into my seat, if it was possible and tried to block out Tori's words to Andre and Robbie's shaking body.

It was getting night fall when we finally got past the traffic on the bridge and entered Portland. I gazed out the windows and saw the colors of the

lights of the stores we passed by. There were so many people walking around at night and entering different shops.

"Why don't we stop and get some sleep? That way tomorrow morning we can go find the place and we'll be all nice and fresh." Tori suggested. As

much as I wanted to deny her, everyone else agreed. So I was out voted. We checked into a nice and welcoming motel. After getting our rooms,

we were escorted to our rooms. They were nice to us and made us feel comfortable.

"I'll go take a shower first." I said as I only took off my shoes and threw my bag on one of the beds. They grunted in response and I took out my

clothes and went into thew shower.

I'm so close to knowing the answer. And even if she isn't here, I won't stop looking. She has become my new obsession and I don't know if it's

dangerous or not. But either way, I'm not so sure that I care. I just want to see her again. That's all.

.

.

.

AN- Hope its good (: I'm working on the next chapter now so in the mean time I hope I didn't disappoint. Thanks for taking your time and reading! Now go ahead and review :D

Oh and I'm not sure if I have spelling mistakes in there that I missed, for some reason my spell check is acting weird. So I'll go fix that. But anyways yeah... (:


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- the moment has come...not the ending but close to it (:

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.

Monday came and left and nothing changed. I woke up early in the morning, before the sun fulling rose. Birds were too lazy to sing and the sounds

of crashing waves were heard. I moved my hand around to find my phone and when I found it, I looked at the time. 6 am, it read.

I remembered the way Beck would always drag me out of bed.

I felt tears in the corner of my eyes. God, there is just this feeling inside that I can't explain. And it's always there. No matter how hard I try to get

rid of it, I just can't. Whenever I remember him or something good from my past, it just comes again. Its just there and I don't know how to get rid

of it. I-I just don't know why it won't go away. I'm trying hard but maybe not hard enough. Its almost like something inside doesn't want me to be

happy. All the pain I've held in for so long is coming out and I'm starting to break apart. But I can't...no, won't, fall apart. Not yet.

I shut my eyes closed and held in the tears. I wanted to go to sleep but then I remembered I had to talk to Karen. I got up so fast that it made me

dizzy. I made my way to the living room to try to catch up with Karen but when I was there, she was already gone.

I walked to the kitchen, in hope that she was there but nope. She was completely gone. Though she did leave a note.

_ Dear Jade,_

_ Don't worry, my sister allowed us to move in with her. Lila is coming by to get her things this morning around 7:30am so she won't have to see you. If _

_you have any questions, you know my number. Other than that, don't call me. And if Lila tells me you did something to her while she was there, I swear_

_ you won't hear the last of me._

I crumbled the note and threw it in the trash can. She's defending that child even though she's nothing but rude and arrogant to her. If that were

my child and she ever disrespected me, I would lock her up in her room and never let her out. Or I'd just ship her ass off to boot camp. But my child

won't be like tha- that because I'm not having it.

I took in a deep breath and drew myself a bath. I need to relax and just count the agonizing minutes that pass by until 8 o'clock gets here. Just

hold on Jade, only 1 and 56 minutes left. And then you'll be rid of this problem.

The warm water hit my body and I rolled my head back. I watched the white ceiling that seemed to be growing and growing.

I don't know how or when it happened, but I found myself standing in front of the clinic. The streets were empty and so was the parking lot. Not

even my car was there. As in autopilot I walked in. The same lady that took me to see the doctor, escorted me to a room. She had me remove my

clothing and put on a blue sheet over me. She said something to me but I could not make out the words. She held a huge needle in her hand and

that's when panic started. I was crying and shaking my head. "No" I kept shouting. She only smiled and shoved it into my veins. Was it suppose to

make me go numb? Because if so, it didn't work. I need more, I tried to say. But my mouth wasn't moving and words couldn't come out. Then Dr.

Mill came in wearing glove, goggles and her blue clothes. I saw a big needle and thought that she was going to give it to me but instead she

placed it somewhere else. I felt the sharp pain burst through me. I tried screaming and kicking but my body stayed still and my mouth kept shut. I

felt the cold metal enter my body and twist around something inside of me. I felt warm liquid run down my legs. Please stop this! It hurts! I

shouted but they couldn't hear. I heard something crack inside and then the cold metal thing was coming out of my body. AH! It hurts so badly.

Stop...please... Tears were running down my face. And the pain was never ending. Then Dr. Mill held the bleeding lump in her hands and put it in a

container. I watched as they left and I was bleeding on that table.

My eyes went wide open and I gasped for air. At some point, don't know when, I fell asleep. I looked around and was still in the tub. I got out of

the tub and quickly changed. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me for thinking such horrible things. I walked into my room and began to put

on my clothes, sweat pants and a loose shirt. I glanced at the clock and it read 7:30. I should be leaving and Lila should be here any time so-

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the front door open loudly. I groaned, damn her. I grabbed my keys and phone before leaving. But

stopped right before reaching the handle. I was so close into forgetting my money. I got the money and then headed downstairs. It would have

been funny if I forgotten it.

As I went downstairs, I saw her lying on the couch and watching TV.

"Aren't you suppose to be getting your things and then getting the hell out of here?" I asked in my bitchy tone. She jumped at my voice.

"I thought you were sleeping... but obviously not. Going out this early? Let me guess, abortion time?" She mocked. I walked up to her and

snatched the remote away from her. I turned off the TV and she stood up.

"Do not push me. Because I swear I am not afraid to beat the crap out of a little girl." I threatened. She smirked at me.

"What ever." She said. I pushed her and watched her tumble onto the couch. I walked out of the house, slamming the door behind me. I know that

bitch will do something. But you know what? I don't really give a shit right now. It's too early in the morning to be fighting with her.

She just ruined my morning but I guess it was better that way. It gave me something to focus on other than...yeah, that.

.

.

.

The moment I stepped into the clinic, my heart started speeding up. I was breathing heavily. Like the way you breathe after you've finished a mile

run. I looked around and got surprised that there were many women here. I thought that since it was so early, no one would really be here. I

stopped starring at them when most of them turned and looked at me. This lady was wearing all red and was glaring at me. She leaned over and

whispered words that I could not hear to the other. They both looked at me with disgust. But who are they to judge? Are they not here

themselves?

I moved away from the door and signed in. I took the seat next to the corner. My hands were sweating and my legs could not stay still. My hand

kept twitching and oh god I don't feel so good. I saw others stare at me but pretended not to notice. I took my phone out and pretended to be

texting. But that didn't help. My legs were still not still, my hand kept twitching and I still felt like I needed to throw up, though I'm sure that

throwing up won't make this any better.

"Jade West?" The sectary asked, scanning the room. I stood up and made my way to her. She didn't smile nor greet me. She only led me to an empty room.

"Undress here, you can keep your bra on but everything else, gone and put on that gown. The doctor will be in here to explain the procedures and

then take you to the lab." She said with pure boredom. Before I could let out the breath, I didn't know I was holding, she was gone. I took in a

deep breath, I can do this. With shaking hands I began to undress and I put the gown on. My legs were shaking and I could barely stand. I just

want this to be over. I don't want to deal with it anymore.

"Jade?" Dr. Mill's voice was heard on the other side of the door. When I made to speak, the words were trapped inside. But I forced myself to

answer. And she came in with a bunch of papers and a pen.

"Hey, you ready?" She asked with a gentle smile. I nodded and did my best to smile but failed miserably. Instead it looked more like a lip twitch.

"Y-yeah." I whispered in a tone so low that the noise of a pen dropping would be louder.

"Are you sure?" She asked. I nodded.

"Ok then. I just need you to sign these papers. It's a contract that says you give all rights for me to make this procedure and you will not hold

anything against the company if something goes wrong." She explained. Wait, if something goes wrong? What?

"N-nothing goes wrong, it's really fast and simple but on some really rare occasions it happens." She added quickly. I hesitated before getting the

pen. I signed the papers.

"Aren't you going to read it first?" She asked with a small laugh at the end. I shook my head.

"No. I just want this to be...over..." I said. She nodded and I handed her the money. She put it away and explained me the plan of how it works.

But I don't want to hear.  
"So if you'll just follow me into the other room, we can get started." She told me as she began to walk out the door. I followed closely behind her.

We entered into another room. My chest began beating even faster when I saw the tools. She had me lay down on the bed and prompt my legs up

onto the board. I felt so self conscious opening my legs up like that. Then another nurse came in with a needle in her hand. I could feel my entire

body shaking.

"It'll put you to sleep. Don't worry, you won't feel a thing." She said. I panicked and wanted to scream and kick her but it was too late. The sharp

and sudden pain came into my veins and I couldn't move anymore. My body grew weak and I could barely...

.

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.

I felt cold and empty. Like all the warmth in my body was gone. There was a sharp pain that was inside of me. I could still feel that pain even

though my body was numb. I felt like my body was filled with ice. And I felt more alone than ever. I was shaking but trying so hard not to move.

When I moved it made the pain so much worse.

I let out a small moan of pain. I could still feel it, I could feel that metal thing go in and destroy what I had inside. I could feel it drag it out of my

body and the warm liquid running through my legs. I could see the way it was taken out. My heart stopped beating, I could feel it. My eyes were

shut and I was asleep, suppose to be numb. But I could some how still feel it and see it. The worse part, that made me want to kill myself was that

after I woke up, I heard a small cry. The gentle whimper of a baby that was alone and dead. I could see the innocent creature crying and asking to

be held.

When I opened my eye and took in my surrounding, I realize that it was not a nightmare. I was lying in the bed. The doctor smiled and smoothed

my hair, she told me it was over. The anesthesia would wear off in a couple of hours, I shouldn't be in any pain but she gave me Advil just in case.

She allowed my to stay put for as long as I needed, my clothes would be on the chair beside me. I watched her leave and I burst out crying. The

emptiness was too much. There was just an empty space inside that I could never fill ever again. But its all over now, So why don't I feel happy?

This was suppose to fix things. I think this made it worse. Just being in this place gets to me. Its not like I imagined. I kept thinking that it would

solve all my problems, it would all leave me alone. Instead its taunting me. Something inside is taunting me and making me realize what a stupid

mistake I just made. And like I said earlier, this is the type of choice that if I get it wrong, there's no going back.

I cleared my tears away and sat up. I ignored the aching pain and got dressed. I didn't bother saying anything to Dr. Mill as I passed her in the

hallway, I just walked as fast as I could to my car. When I got in I was crying again like a pathetic dumb ass. I checked my phone and looked at the

time. It was 10:30. I guess I must have been in there longer then I said it would take.

I drove home slowly, cars were passing me and honking at me. But they could not understand that pain I was in.

When I finally arrived home, I saw a mini van parked outside. Probably Lila's aunt coming to pick her up or something. I parked the car in the

garage and made my to the front door. As I stepped inside what I saw was the most painful yet happiest thing I've seen since I got here.

"Beck..." I whispered. There he was... standing in front of the couch and starring at me. Tori, Cat, Andre and Robbie were standing right behind me.

"I missed you." He said softly, he was smiling but had tears in his eyes.

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AN- (: KK sorry it took me a while to upload. I just couldn't get this right... I hope I did.

Please let me know what you think (: thanks!


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer- Don't own Victorious

AN- Sorry for the wait, I'm trying to post up a new chapter at least once a week. You know, so I can end the story quicker. So um, here you go. (:

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"Beck..." I whispered. There he was... standing in front of the couch and starring at me. Tori, Cat, Andre and Robbie were standing right behind me.

"I missed you." He said softly, he was smiling but had tears in his eyes.

I held my breath. Maybe this is just my imagination. There's no way he's actually here. Y-yeah, that's just it. I just need to relax and walk to my room and sleep it off.

I moved pass him and walked up the stairs as calm as possible. I didn't turn back, I just kept walking.

"Where is she going?" I heard, my imaginary Cat ask. Before my other imaginary friends could reply, I shut the door to my room and locked it. I

moved to my bed and laid down, just sleep it off Jade. I heard foot steps come up the stairs. No, just relax this isn't real. It's just the aftermath of

my... my a-abortion.

I heard a knock on the door and I sat up.

"Jade...please, open the door." I heard imaginary Beck say. He is just my imagination right? There is no possible way he could be here. I mean, I

only showed him this place once in my entire life. He shouldn't remember. Unless he did remember and this is the real Beck. Why must my mind play

tricks on me?

"Jade, open the door or I will kick it down! I'm tired of playing games, I just need to talk to you!" His voice ran through my veins.

"Fine, I'll give you to the count of three to open this damn door!" He exclaimed. I tried to relax but things only got worse until I heard Tori's voice.

"You can't break it down!" She said.

"I'll pay for it later." He replied.

"Wait, just let me talk to her. Maybe she'll open the door to me." She whispered. I moved to the window, maybe I can just escape and never look

back.

"Jade, please open the door. Look we've come a long way just to find you. And honestly, it's pretty shitty that you left like that. Do you know how

much damage you've done to us...to Beck!" She exclaimed. There was a long period of silence. I didn't speak, maybe my imaginary friends are

gone.

"Jade, open the god damn door already! Stop being like this!" She yelled. Nope, looks like they are still here.

I took in a deep breath and slowly moved to the door. My hands were trembling and I couldn't get it to stop to unlock the door. But I managed

somehow. I backed away and watched as it slowly opened. Through a small crack of the door, Tori slipped in, shutting it right behind her. She

locked it and faced me.

"H-hey." She greeted. I grabbed a near my pillow from the couch and threw it at her. The only problem was that the pillow didn't go threw her.

"It...you're real?" Words came out of my mouth. She looked puzzled but nodded.

"Of course I'm real! A-are you high right now?" She asked stepping closer.

"No!" I shouted. Wait...that means, Beck is real. And Cat, and Andre and Robbie. Shit.

"You! You're not suppose to be here!" I said.

"Jade, we came looking for you right after you left! Did you honestly think we would just move one without you? Or that we could just let you go

like that?" She asked. I fell to my knees and just stayed like that. I heard her sigh and she sat down next to me.

"I-I hoped you would..." I whispered.

"Even for you...that's pretty stupid. Jade we can't forget you. And we weren't about to let you go. And Beck... he wasn't going to let you go either.

He was going to keep searching his entire life just to find you." She paused for a second.

"You should have... he should have. I didn't want you to come." I spoke. The look on her was too much. She looked hurt, and broken.

"Fine... then tell me again. Tell me, and Beck and everyone else that you want us gone. Tell me that you never want to see me again. That you

want me gone. Tell me right now and I will walk out the door with them and never come back." She explained keeping her brave face on.

I swallowed hard and tried to let those word out. Yet they were stuck in my throat and refused to come out. I need them gone. That's why I

came here in the first place. They are just ruining it! This...but didn't I hope they would come? Wasn't I the one being selfish in the first place? I

wanted them to come. So here they are. Why am I trying tp push them away if later on I'm going to wish they were here?

"Just tell me one thing." She spoke again. I looked up at her.

"Why? Why did you leave Jade? You had us, and you had the trial. And James-"

"No," I cut her off, "I-I just wanted to get out of there. That place, it has to many memories. Tori, I just want to forget." I lied.

Well not completely, its just not the entire part. And there is nothing wrong with keeping things to yourself. We all deserve a secret, and this is one

of mine.

"This is something that you can't forget. I'm sorry but this...you will never be able to forget because this is part of you now. You can get over it, you

can recover but it will be a scar that is engraved into your soul. And its something you will never forget..." Her voice trailed off.

I began to cry because what she said it true. I will never forget, all this time I wanted to believe that I could just forget but she's right. Tori is

right, she's always been right. I know I can't always be right. She tells me things that I'm not sure of. Truth is, I need her. She helps keep me sane.

And my sanity is the only thing I have left.

"Jade, your time is up. You need to talk to Beck..." She whispered. I shook my head but she ignored it and walked out the door.

I stood up and tried to stop her but it was too late. She was out the door and I could hear her voice calling for Beck. I needed to breathe.

Just when I heard his footsteps getting closer to the door, the sharp pain inside my stomach began to rise up again. I cringed in the pain and sat

down on the bed. It felt like a knife was stabbed into my stomach and it was ripping me apart. It burned like hell. It just felt like my skin was being

opened. I bit my lip to stop me from screaming out in pain. I didn't even notice that Beck was already in the room. I pushed aside the pain and

focused, or at least tried to, on Beck.

"We need to talk." He said.

"Don't have much of a choice do I?" I replied quietly, biting my lip as the pain got worse.

"Jade...I-I honestly have no idea what to say right now." His voice trembled. He slid down the door and just sat there and watched me.

"You know, all I kept thinking while I was on the road trip here, was that 'I can't wait to find Jade and hold her and tell her how much that I love

her'... but now...Now I'm not sure if that's such a good idea." He explained.

I looked at him hard trying to read him yet I could not tell what he was feeling inside. I could not tell what he was feeling.

"It's like you can't stand me anymore. I want to hold you though I know you'll just push me away. I'm afraid to come near you and have you run

away from me. Jade...what you did hurt me." He said. The sudden pain that came was gone now. I don't want to push you away. I want you with

me. So why can't I tell you that?

"It's not too late Jade. We can make this work. We can start our lives here if that's what you want. Just please don't push me away. Because I

won't leave." He paused. I looked away.

"I know you don't want to have the baby but you'll have me. I'll help you threw it. A-and we can have the family we never really had. That child

isn't mine but I don't care because I will raise him or her. I will love that baby as if it were my own." He explained.

I let the tears begin to fall. No... I can't tell him. I can't tell him what a cruel person I am. What I did... I can't.

"We can raise him or her. We can watch them grow up. Jade this can be a fresh start. Me, you and the baby. I'll get a job and we can live here if

that's what you want. I can start the nursery and...Jade this can work. It-"

"Beck, stop! T-there is no baby!" I yelled. I covered my mouth but it was too late. He looked at me confused. He slowly stood up.

"What...so you aren't pregnant? The test was a lie then?" He asked. I let more tears fall out as I shook my head.

"No, Beck... I-I... I, um,... I killed it!" I blurted out. I tried to stop myself but I couldn't.

"I killed it. I had an abortion today. When I came home I was coming home from the clinic. Ok? There is no more baby! Because you know what, I

killed it! I'm a cold and heartless bitch!" I screamed. I watched him as he stood there in shock.

"I'm sorry...I just couldn't keep it. I didn't want it, Beck." I whispered through tears that seemed to never go away. I stood up and walked to him

but before I could reach him, he was out the door and walking downstairs.

I fell to my knees and cried so hard that I thought I would drown in my own tears. I know I was wrong! But that's not good enough! Like I said

before, this is my mistake that I will never be able to fix! Not unless there is a time machine and I go back in time! I'm pathetic I know! What I did is

unforgivable... I just need Beck to understand that I regret it. I need him. I'm so sorry Beck.

"What happened?" I heard Tori's voice ask as she bent down to me. I shook my head and she helped me up and pulled me into her arms.

"It's ok..." She whispered. Sure she says that because she doesn't know. I pulled away from her.

"He hates me..." I said. She looked at me in confusion.

"No, he would never hate you. Just tell me what happened." She said. I shook my head as if saying no yet my mouth began to move.

"I got...there's... I had an abortion!" I told her. I heard her gasp. She pulled away from me and stepped away from me. She looked angry, confused and sad.

"Jade... no...no, no!" She repeated.

"I-I'm sorry...Tori, I'm so sorry. I regret it." I explained but she raised her hand to silence me. I heard another pair of footsteps come up the stairs.

I turned to look and I saw Cat there with tears in her eyes.

"How could you, Jade?" She asked. If she heard, than everyone else did. I just shook my head as this house became the house of tears.

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. Beck's POV

I found her. She rejects me. And now she tells me that she, that she killed the baby. I know I shouldn't have just walked away like that but I just

can't. I can't see her right now. No, not like this. How...why? God! If I only gotten here earlier! I...we should have arrived yesterday! Then we could

have stopped her! But god damn it! We were just too late! Fuck!

I didn't know where I was going, I just kept walking until I reached the water. I heard someone panting behind me. I turned around and Andre

was standing there.

"Beck..." He began. I turned away from him and let my own tears fall. I don't cry for anything other than Jade. And now, this entire week she has

me crying more then I have ever cried my entire life.

"She..." I tried telling him, I just couldn't find a way to tell him. He's my best friend but this is something that isn't so easy to say. Not even to him.

"I know what she did...I heard her tell Tori...But Beck, you need to understand-"

"Understand what? That she killed an innocent child! Andre, how can I possibly understand that?" I exclaimed facing him. Tears ran down my face

but I couldn't care. I can't understand what she did!No, I just can't! Not right now, and not ever! No!

"Beck! It's her body and she can do what ever she wants with it. You can't stop her!" He replied.

"You...you think what she did was right?" I asked. How dare he? He..he of all people! I would expect something like this from Tori but not from

him!

"No! Of course not, I'm as angry as anyone else! But try to see it from her side! How do you think it feels like to find out your pregnant by the guy

that raped you? By the guy who destroyed your life? It's bad enough that she was raped but having to be reminded every day...I wouldn't be able

to handle it. Would you?" He explained. I hesitated.

"No, but I wouldn't have killed it." I replied. I wouldn't have. I would have kept it and raised it even though it'd be hard as shit. I would never kill

something. This is a human being for god's sake!

"Answer me this, do you love her?" He asked. I stood their in shock when I heard it. Does he think I don't?

"Of course I do!" I said.

"Then what the hell are you doing? I know what she did was wrong and she knows it too. She regrets it but what's done is done and she can't fix

it. This is a mistake that will haunt her for the rest of her life. And she knows it. She needs you now more then ever. And what your doing it a poor

way to show that you love her!" He told me. He sighed and closed his eyes for a second.

"Just... think about it." He finally said before walking away.

Think about it? About what? She...she killed the baby. But...I don't know! I'm angry as hell right now! What does he want? For me to go to her

and say that its ok to have killed the baby! Well its not ok!And...and she knows that already. Crap... she knows it and it's killing her. But what do I do

then? I don't have the answers like I thought I did. My whole, I'll just hold her and tell her that I love her plan it all gone now. Now, I have nothing

left. I know that holding her won't be the same anymore. I still love her, no doubt in that, yet there is still something that will never be the same

again. So what do I do?

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AN- End of this chapter! Thanks for reading and hope I did a good job. Please be so kind and review (: Tell me what you think because honestly I love it when I go to my email and see I got a review. It just makes me day a whole lot happier. And I know what I'm writing is a bit dark and I don't really know how to write it but I try.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer- Don't own Victorious

AN- I know, I'm a terrible person for not updating. So sorry, just been busy. School, teachers loading us on work because H.S.A week is now over,

So no more test! Except Finals... gah I dislike school. Anyways, enjoy! And thank you so much to all of those who read, review and favorite my

stories. Every time I see that I have a new review, a sudden rush of joy goes up my spine. And I really enjoy that feeling -wink wink- ha, so review.

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. Jade's POV

They all look at me with disappointment in their eyes. Shame is all I can see in them. If only they knew the burden I carry, they did not kill that

unborn human being. I did, so why is it that they judge more? I did not ask to be judge, the mistake I made is my own and no one else should

have a say. If they were truly friends, they'd be comforting me, not judging.

"Jade, we need to talk." Vega's voice spoke from behind me.

I glared at her, her eyes swollen with tears. If it hard to say that she shed more tears than I? Could it be that she cares more than I do? Is

it that I am too heartless to feel saddened by my action, or is it that I can no longer seem to focus on the emptiness that lingers inside of me?

I waited for her to continue as I walked over to the couch and sat down. She followed after me, taking a seat next to me. Cat moved her

thin hips over to us, kneeling before me. Her eyes were with no tears, just swollen like Tori's.

"We, um...you can't expect us to... I mean, its just...-" Tori stumbled over her words. I bit my lip from making a rude comment because I know what

she's going to say. '_Jade, we can't support you for what you did. You messed up big time and we will never be able to forgive you.' _I could almost hear

her words before she even said it.

"Jade, she's just...having a hard time understanding why you did it. But I-I get it. I mean, we expected you to carry a child that you never wanted,

a child that would remind you of pain you went through. And I can understand what it must feel like-" Cat began but I cut her off.

"No, Cat. You can't understand, you will never be able to understand. I did it because I wanted to. I was scared of having it. Sure you can

understand the reason why I did it, but you will never know what it feels like." I explained. She looked away.

"You're right... you are right, I will never know what it feels like. But I know it is hard for you. And I want to help you. I need to help you. Jade,

you're my best friend. What kind of a person would I be if I left you here? You know me, I would never leave a friend behind." Cat said. It was my

turn to look away, and then I felt weight on my shoulder. Tori rested her head on my shoulder.

"We- I didn't mean to come off like that. I was wrong. So, let... lets just try to get over this. But I need to know that you will allow me to help you. I

can't keep helping you and have you end up leaving again." Tori's voice was no longer trembling, a bit of stuffiness in her voice but it wasn't rough.

"So are you going to let us help you?" Cat asked. I sighed before nodding. I don't want pity, I don't want someone to heal me, I just want

someone to listen and help me get on my feet so that I can heal myself.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and I glared threw the door, I don't want to see Beck. I don't want to see his face ever again. How can he

have walked away? He left, so you know what? He can just stay away! They all got mad at me, but he was the only one who fled like a coward. I

know, I caught him off guard, but what about staying with me till the end or all that bullshit he said about wanting to stay with me. All those things

he said, did they all vanish when I told him the truth, that there was no longer going to be a child. Beck never had much of a family, and he was

delusional with having one with me. But no, not like this. I didn't want a so called family, I never wanted a family that would remind me day after

day of what happened. Even though its not the child's fault, it still would suppress me with unwanted memories.

The footsteps stopped in front of the door and a soft knock was heard. Cat moved quickly and peaked out the door. She sighed with relief and

moved aside as she fully opened the door. And the same afro, puppet loving, Robbie came in with Rex. He smiled uncomfortably as he moved over

to the couch, but left a good distance between us.

"Um, so... hey. How are you?" He said awkwardly. I heard Cat giggle from behind him as she pushed him forward so she could take her spot on the

floor again.

"Hey, Robbie." I greeted.

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. We fell silent, there was nothing to be said and nothing to be heard.

Tori occasionally would open her mouth to speak but always closed it. Cat would try to bring up a random story about her brother but it never

seemed to work. And Robbie...well he was just Robbie, he tried making Rex say something but Rex would refuse to speak, whispering quite loudly

to Robbie that he was not going to speak unless he was told what was going on. In which led to even more awkward silence.

"So..." I began, and all eyes were on me, as if anything I would say would be so interesting.

"How was your road trip?" I asked curiously. They shared glances before mumbling, all at once, "fine, good, fun, exciting." and other words I could

not make sense of. I glared at them suspiciously.

"I want details. Where did you stay? What did you guys eat? Anything interesting?" I questioned. Once again they shared looks before we all

landed our eyes on Cat. She smiled nervously.

"Well ,we stayed in hotels. We stopped in diners and yeah that's pretty much it." She summed up.

"Are you sure? That sounds pretty lame to me." I pressured her.

"Andwealmostgotmugged." She said quickly, I frowned at her, not being able to understand a single word she said. Tori moved away slightly,

removing her head from my shoulder as Robbie took a step back.

"What was that?" I asked.

"She said, that we ran out of gas! And that we almost got our car taken away by the police people car things." Tori answered for her. I was about

to reply when Robbie's pants began to vibrate really loudly. He reached for it and we watched his eyes scan the tiny screen.

"Who is it?" Cat asked.

"Oh um, just my mom. She wants to know if I'm homesick. I told her I was going to go to an all boys camp." He explained. I raised my eye brow.

"And she believed it?" I asked in disbelief.

"Hey! My mom believed me when I told her Cat invited me to her sleep away camp." Tori said. I shook my head with a small smile.

"Wait...so all of you are suppose to be at camp right now. But instead you came here. For me. And now that you are here, are you going to go

back?" I asked.

"Yeah and you're coming with us...right?" Tori spoke. I looked down.

"You are coming back, right?" She asked roughly.

"Tori...I can't. I-I can't. I need to stay here." I told her.

I can't tell her what I did, I can 't tell her why I'm here in the first place. If she knew what I did, things would never be the same. And if I

did come back... she would be in danger. She's done too much for me and if anything ever happened to her because of me, I think I would just go

on a psychotic killing spree and destroy everyone who hurt her. And no, I don't care if she ended up being ok. Its just, no one is going to suffer

because of me.

"Jade... you said we can help you. How can we help you if you refuse to come back with us?" Cat asked sadly. I shrugged.

"Look, I have to stay here. Going back...it will only bring me into further depression. I want to get over this and just going back will bring back a lot

of painful memories. No, I just need to stay here." I argued. Tori sighed as she shut her eyes. Cat bit her lip and looked at me sadly, while Robbie

just stood there looking down.

"You're more then welcomed to stay here for the summer, you know, so you won't have to go home and explain to your parents that you decided

to come home early from camp." I tried.

"We just want to help..." Robbie commented.

"And if this is what you want, if you want to stay here then fine. We can't force you to come back. So we'll just have to take your offer and stay

here for the entire summer and just try to have fun. Try to forget." Tori said.

"It's something I will never forget. But trying to move on is better then forgetting. If I forget, there is always a chance of remembering. And when I

remember, those thoughts will come twice as hard." I replied quietly. Once again, no one said anything anymore. But before it got to complete

silence, I spoke up.

"Why don't Cat and Robbie go get your things while Tori, you and I can start preparing the rooms. Um, Tori, Cat you guys can sleep in here. And

I'll sleep up in the tower. And well the guys can just see who shares a room or one can just sleep downstairs on the couch."

"Whoa, wait...the tower?" Cat asked. I nodded as I pointed at the door.

"It leads to a small tower that looks out to the ocean. There's a bed up there." I explained. I saw her eyes sparkle.

"oh! Please, Jade, can I please sleep up there! I always wanted to be like a princess that gets locked up in a tower! Can I sleep up there?" Cat

asked hopefully. I laughed a little as I saw her facial expression.

"Sure." I agreed. She let out a happy squeak and practically tackled me when she hugged me.

"Cat, go get the stuff from the car." Tori said, helping me get Cat off. She nodded and followed Robbie out the door. Tori stood there smiling to

herself.

"Ok, so since you're staying here, I guess you can have the bed, I'll take the couch," I said, walking to the closet and searching for fresh blankets. I

frowned as I found the blankets, they were all hideous. Most of them with barbie plastered all over them or the Disney princesses, I use

to be such a preppy girl. I sighed as I began to take them out.

"Its out, I'll take the couch. I don't mind, real-" She stopped speaking when she saw the blankets.

"I always knew you had a girly side in you. I just never realized how obsessed you were with with barbie." She mocked jokingly. I stuck my tongue

out at her and set the blankets down.

"Come on, Vega." I told her as I walked out the door. She followed behind me. We walked down the hall and stopped in front of a huge door, like

the ones you see when you enter a mansion. Not sure why we needed such a big door but we had one.

The room was big, about twice the size of my room... maybe a bit smaller but still pretty big. The walls were burgundy, a queen size bed against

the center wall. A white silk couch a yard from the bed and faced the plasma screen TV. A balcony was next to a door which behind was a grand

bathroom. And many paintings around the room by Da Vinci, my mother use to love his work. And the biggest center piece was the black piano in

the corner. My dad use to play the piano, he even taught me how to play it. Its funny though, I always wondered how they got that piano up here.

Maybe they shoved it through the door...but how would they manage to bring it up here? I never knew. I asked my dad once but he told me it was

magic.

"Damn..." Tori whispered taking in the room. I smirked as I moved to the walk in closet. I found a blanket and took it out, seeing as Karen took

everything except the things that were already here. As I got the blankets, I noticed that there were a bunch of boxes piled in the back. I walked

to them and began to read the labels. They were filled with my parents belongings. My moms clothes, her jewelry... everything she ever owned

that she left behind.

"Jade?" I heard Tori's voice call. I walked to the door and came out. She helped me but the blankets on.

"You were so lucky to live in this house... and now you are! So why are you staying in that room when you can have this one?" She asked as we

headed to the other room, Lila's room.

"This one belonged to my parents. And well, I just liked my old room instead." I replied opening the other room.

It was about the size of my room, just a bit smaller. It had a twin sized bed, a black leather couch, a small stereo, which was in the same place as

the TV and a desk, where the computer was. But unlike this one, it had no bathroom, though it was only across the hall.

Tori went to the closet this time and pulled out the blankets,.

"I would never want to leave this house." She admired as she covered the bed up. I shook my head as I began to walk back to my room. I heard

Cat and Robbie coming up the stairs, Cat complaining that the bags were heavy and Robbie saying that he had to carry Rex too. I met them half

way and helped them move the bags to my room.

"Ugh, damn. What did you guys bring?" I asked dropping them.

"That was all Cat's. The rest of us only brought one bag." Robbie said. I sighed,

"Well I guess you can pick your room and just have Andre and...Beck share a room." I told him, saying Beck's name softly.

"I suggest you get the room at the end. It's huge!" Tori whispered to Robbie.

Robbie nodded and dragged his bag to it. We heard him gasp as he opened the door. We heard a set of shoes climb up the stairs and I

braced my self, knowing it could only be either Beck or Andre. But when I saw Andre's face and not Beck's, all my worries just got bigger. So what,

Beck doesn't want to see me, is that it?

"Um...hey Jade. Beck wants to...um, talk to you." He said walking to me and giving me a slight hug. I was surprised at first but then anger came.

"Oh so NOW he wants to talk? Now that he feels like it! Well no! I don't want to talk to him! I don't want to see him!" I exclaimed. They all backed

away slowly and starred at me. I cringed in pain as that sharpness in my stomach came back to me. I pressed my lips together and sat down,

trying so hard to hide my discomfort.

"Ok...I'll tell him that." Andre said walking out the door. Tori moved to me worried.

"Are you ok?" She asked. I shook my head, the pain getting so much worse. I cried out and bit my lip even harder.

"What's wrong?" Cat asked as she sat beside me. I clenched on to my stomach.

"I'm. Fine." I clenched through my teeth. I breathed heavily.

"No you're not. Here, just lay down." Tori said, shoving Cat off and helping me lay down. The pain decreased but it was still there. It was like sharp

nails clawing out from inside my stomach, something trying to rip my insides a part.

I took in deep breaths and shut my eyes, he wants to talk to me. After running away, even Tori and Cat stayed behind. They didn't leave...but

Beck, oh he left. He didn't even hear me out. Well now, I won't hear him out.

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.

. Beck's POV

I stood there watching as Andre walked away. His words still played in my mind. He had a point, how is it that Andre understood more than I did.

How could he possibly understand her better then I can? Aren't the roles suppose to be the other way around. I'm the one who should be more

understanding. But instead I left her alone when she needed me the most. It's like the more I try to make things work, the more I mess it up.

I ran as fast as I could to catch up to Andre. I almost tackled him to the ground when I saw him.

"Ow, dude!" He complained, fixing himself and I held onto his shirt.

"S-sorry." I breathed heavily. He waited until I fully caught my breath.

"I need to ask you a favor." I said. He nodded, motioning for me to continue.

"Can you please, tell Jade to talk to me? I need to talk to her." I told him. He sighed and shook his head.

"No. I know you want to talk to her but-"

"I NEED to talk to her."

"Now isn't the time. She's going to be pissed off at you. Hell I would be if my boyfriend ran out on me like that after I told him I had an abortion of a

kid that I had because of my rapist." He explained.

"Andre...I know what I did was stupid, but I just need to talk to her!"

"Man, you are getting obsessed with trying to help her! You keep trying to get close to her, to try to heal her but believe me, you need to put your

self together before you try to put her together." He said.

"You don't understand-" I began but he cut me off.

"I understand that you keep trying to help her but you make everything so much worse. And I'm sorry, I really am sorry to tell you this but it's true.

You made her take James to trial, but she backed out because she was scared. You wanted her to have the baby, a baby that would remind her of

the darkest time of her life. And you wanted to make it all up to her and move here! But look! You ran away when she told you she had an

abortion! What else do you think she might do? What if she says she doesn't want to be with you? Then what? Will you just explode in her face?"

He exclaimed.

A part of me shattered into millions of pieces. He was my best friend, shouldn't he be telling me to chase after her. Yet all the things he said was

true. But I am not broken, I only want to help her.

"Andre...please." I begged. He sighed, giving me that did-you-not-understand-what-I-said face.

"Fine...but she won't want to talk to you. I'll tell her to meet you here, do not go anywhere." He said as he walked away.

I stood there anxiously, waiting for her. I paced around in the sand. What will I say? I can tell her I was an asshole and she has every right to be

mad at me but that still doesn't make up for running away. How could she ever trust me again? I- maybe Andre is right. Maybe I need to figure

myself out before I can figure her out. Jade, she's becoming like my drug addiction. When I close my eyes all I see is her smiling face. When I try to

relax all I want is to be by her side. She's becoming all I think about. Even when I try to focus on something else, I always end up thinking of her.

"He's right...Andre was right. I am becoming obsessed with her." I whispered to myself. I sat down and starred into the crashing waves. I wish I

could be like the waves. Letting the wind guide me where ever it wants to go. I wouldn't have to worry. Just going with the flow.

I heard footsteps walking towards me. I didn't look back, I waited until they came around me.

"She-" Andre began but I shook my head.

"I know...you were right. She doesn't want to talk to me...so what do I do?" I asked. He looked away and then looked back at me.

"Give her time. You can't expect her to do anything. Stop trying to heal her, she's tough. Jade's strong, last thing she wants is to be put back

together. She came here because she wanted to. No one forced her, she was scared. And I guess you should just let her be." He explained

holding out his hand. I took it and he pulled me up.

The sounds of the crashing wave against the sand echoed through the day. The sun shinning bright in almost a mocking way, and birds chirping

happily, living life care free. If only I was that bird. Living life carefree.

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AN- Sorry, but I shall update when I can. Please review and sorry if this chapter was... not as good. Personally I think it wasn't my best, mostly

because I don't think I spent too much time with it. Please tell me what you think. And the ending...well let's just say it will be more like a thinker. (:


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer- I do not own Victorious

AN- Ah! I finally am writing once again. I'm multitasking right now, just doing all my summer homework so I don't have to worry about it later (: So here you are, enjoy!

.

.

. Jade POV

I still hadn't seen Beck, I stayed upstairs all day with Cat and Tori. We just talked about random things and for once none of that related to anything that has happened with me. By night fall, I was exhausted. I fell asleep to the feeling of suffocation, they were all feeling the need to smother me. Sleep is suppose to be a type of escape from your mind, so you can refresh your body. Yet when I woke up I felt more tired then ever. I dreamed about all the tears shed yesterday and about the unborn baby that never got to feel what is was like to have a life.

I opened my eyes and felt the sudden sting of the bright sun that darted into my eyes. As I sat up I looked at the clock. 8:19 a.m. I groaned realizing it was too early to be up. That's what I hate about myself. I sleep late but always wake up early! Ugh, I just want to wake up late one day. Well, there is no point of me laying here awake. I stood up and walked carefully towards the door so I wouldn't wake up Tori...and Cat? I thought she was sleeping in her fairytale tower. Hm.

I shut the door quietly and made my way downstairs. Everyone is still asleep form what I can tell, and knowing them, they'll be asking for breakfast so I'll make some food. It's the least I can do. Righ-

I froze when I entered the kitchen. His back was to me and he was cooking over the stove. I held my breath and began slowly moving backwards.

"I know you're there." He said as I was turning around. Where has my slickness gone? I turned back at him but his back was still towards me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in an exhausted voice .

"Making breakfast." He replied. I let out a deep sigh and moved to the counter next to him.

"I mean what are you doing here? Why didn't you just stay back home?"

"Because you are my home."

"Please don't go all soft on me right now. It's too early in the morning." I said. Beck turned off the stove and turned to me. Before I could say anything, I was in his arms and I don't know why but I just burst out crying into his chest. He held me tighter.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered into my ear but I didn't want to think about it. I just want him to be back with me. I don't want to hate him. I could never hate him.

He waited until I calmed down. But even when I did, I still didn't want to talk about. It's just one of those things that it's better off pretending it never happened and just moving on.

"So what are you cooking?" I asked with a stuffy nose that made me sound sick. I pulled away from him and he only laughed.

"Food...but I burnt most of the pancakes." He mumbled under his breath. I could feel my eyes swollen from tears but I still managed to smile at him as I pushed him away and began making them myself. Beck was never much of a cook to begin with.

By the time we were finished, the kitchen was a mess and everyone else was beginning to wake up. Andre, Cat and Tori came down stairs.

"Mhm, something smells good!" I heard Cat speak while they were coming downstairs.

"I'm gonna go clean up. I'll be back." I told Beck. He nodded and gave me a small peck on my cheek.

I moved out of the kitchen and passed them. Confusion struck them three as they saw my hair in a messy bun, my shirt stained with pancake mix and a bit of flour on my face from when Beck let the flour fall on the floor. I waved as I passed by.

"Was she-" Tori's confused voice spoke.

"I think." Andre replied.

"But when did she get-"

"Don't know."

Their voices faded as I reached the top of the stairs.

"Hey- whoa... what happened to you?" Robbie asked as he came out of the room without his puppet.

"I made breakfast. I'm just coming to change. I'll be down in a couple of minutes, I really want some pancakes." I said.

"Oh! Yeah you'll be getting a lot of cravings because of your pregnancy. When my aunt was having her kid, she would have me run down to the stores just to get her food. But Beck has a car so he can just drive." He said with a smile but it soon faded when he realized what he had said.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" He began but I forced a small smile and shook my head.

"Don't worry. It's fine. I'm going to go change now." I told him as I moved past him and went into my room. I bit my lip and begged for tears not to come. I breathed through it and pushed my tears away.  
It's ok, it's ok, it's ok. I kept reminding myself but truth is it's not ok.

"Jade, you did this. So deal with it." I told myself as I began to change into a different shirt and pair of sweatpants. I cleaned my face with my fresh wet paper towel and fixed my hair.

I made sure I had no signs of tears or sadness before I made my way downstairs with a fake smile.

"Hurry up Jade! We're waiting on you." Tori shouted as I came down the stairs.

"You didn't have to wait, you know." I said as I sat down next to her.

We began to eat and then we began talking. Nothing really happened. Although I could feel Robbie's eyes on me. I tried talking to him about his puppet and why he wasn't here. Robbie just gave a short reply. Three word reply. He's upstairs sleeping. He was more quiet then usual and I was not the only one who noticed it. I put all my money down on the table that it has to do with what he said to me in the hallway upstairs. He shouldn't feel bad, he forgot and I understand that. I mean, sure it did hurt like hell and it did feel like someone had just burst my moment of happiness bubble but it's nothing to feel...bad...about. After he spoke everyone else began to quiet down until no one was speaking.

I could begin to feel the silence start up. No one was speaking, only chewing and looking at their plates as if they were afraid to look at each other. I cleared my throat before speaking.

"So, um, we should go out." I began. I looked at Tori with pleading eyes that shouted help me out. She gave me a confused look at first but she finally understood what I meant.

"Y-yeah. We should explore the town and go to the beach." Tori spoke up.

"Beach! I love the beach. Lets go there first." Cat agreed.

We all agreed to get ready and meet up in half an hour. Everyone left to their rooms and I was heading to my room as well, when I saw Robbie stay behind and begin cleaning up. I took that time to break free from everyone else and followed him into the kitchen.

"You know I'm fine right?" My voice must have scared him because when the first word came out he shrieked in the most girlish voice I have ever heard, even I had a deeper scream than his.

"S-sorry. You- you um, scared me." He panted. I nodded and watched as he caught his breath.

"You know I don't really feel like going to the beach as much. I think I'll just stay here."

"Robbie, you can't just stay here the entire day."

"Oh no, not like that. I'll go out with you guys after you come back from the beach. I just don't want to go. That's all." His voice was calm and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Robbie, what's the matter with you? Is it because of what you said upstairs? Robbie I'm fine. It was a mistake, I get it. You shouldn't feel bad. I am fin-"

"Stop saying that, Jade!" He said looking right at me. I shut my mouth and just starred as he fidgeted with the end of his shirt.

"What's wrong? We both know you didn't mean to say it. It's not that big of a deal." I told him. He shook his head.

"But it is! It is a big deal and you know it!"

"No its not. Rob, I'm fine."

"Stop saying that!" He exclaimed. I jumped slightly at his all of the sudden deep voice.

"We both know you're not fine. I know you long enough to know that something is wrong with you. I know you have feelings Jade!" He began walking closer to me.

"I know I have feelings too...?" I was confused but he kept talking.

"You had a freaking abortion yesterday! And now you're here like nothing ever happened and you're all cheery now! No, Jade that's not fine. Especially after what I said up there. And you dismissed it! Just like that you brushed it off and put on your fake smile." He exclaimed. I looked around, hoping no one could hear him.

"Robbie-"  
"H-how can you still say you're fine? I just don't get it." Robbie whispered. I sighed and leaned against the counter.

"Ok, fine. I'm not ok. But what do I do about it? What _can _I do? I can sit here and weep and just pity myself. Or I can just... move on." I told him. He looked at me with uncertainty.

"I know it makes me a bad person. Like you said, I had an abortion yesterday and the fact that I'm not sitting around and mourning over it just makes me feel like shit. But I can't give up my life for it. Yes, I should show more like I care. But I can't do that. I don't want to show that I care b-because if I care...if I care than I break down. And I am not going to break down anymore."

"You can at least...I-I don't know! It just got to me because it seemed like you didn't give a crap about a baby you killed. And I'm sorry, I really don't want to bring it up again because it was your choice to have it but I- it didn't seem right with me that I brought the topic back up and you ignored it like it was nothing."

"I do care, you need to understand that."

"I do."

"But you also need to understand that I am not going to spend my life crying for something that can never be fixed again." I said. He nodded and hugged me.

I couldn't help but to tense up when he touched me. I wanted to push him away but I didn't. This is Robbie I'm talking about. He would never hurt me. If I start to distrust the people that most care about me then what would I have left?

"Let's just go have fun. We came all the way here so we might as well just make it worth wild." He said shoving me slightly out of the kitchen. I smiled and headed up stairs to change.

Now I could act like it affected me and I could begin to cry. But I'll stay strong. I'm not going to break again, not for them to see. Its my turn to pick up after myself. As I opened the door, Cat and Tori were already done changing and just sitting on the couch talking.

"Hey. What bathing suit are you taking?" Tori asked when I walked in.

"Oh, I'm not wearing one. I don't want to get wet..." I said. Cat looked like she wanted to further talk about it but Tori nudged her softly.

"We'll wait downstairs." Tori said as she left the room with Cat.

I locked the door and closed the windows as I began to change into shorts and a t-shirt. I grabbed a random book on the shelf and went out the door. I walked downstairs and saw that everyone was already done there.

"Hey, the guys are just looking in the fridge for food to take." Cat said to me when she saw me.

We watched as they argued about what to take and what to leave behind. When Tori tried telling them to hurry up, they ignored her, apparently deciding whether to bring a cooler or not was more important to them.

"Guys! Seriously, the beach is not even 5 minutes from here! Can we just go?" Tori exclaimed.

"But-"

"But nothing! Look if we forget something we can just come back. God you guys take forever." She said already heading to the door.

Cat and I followed after her, the sun heating my skin as soon as I stepped outside. We walked to the beach silently, admiring the waves as we passed by. The hot sand sank into my sandals.

"How about here?" Tori asked as we finally reached the part of the beach that actually had a lot of people.

We nodded and began to set up our stuff. Beck put up the umbrellas and I laid my towel underneath it. After it was all set up, Tori and Cat dragged Robbie to the water after he told them he couldn't swim. Andre stayed behind with Beck and me. I picked up my book began to read, well at least tried to. I couldn't focus on the words, but I couldn't take my eyes off of them. Beck and Andre were talking about what to do after this for a while until Tori ran back, dripping with salty water, and dragged Andre into the ocean. I kept my eyes locked on the words and did my best to try to read. The words were as dull as can be. They had no meaning behind it, it probably would have meaning if I looked hard enough. Beck poked my arm and I jumped and let the book fall out of my hand.

"Sorry... you ok?" He asked. I nodded and picked up my book again.

"Yeah. Tired. I'm just tired." I answered. I looked around the beach. Some many families were scattered around, children building sand castle, some burying each other in the sand and... wait. No, it can't be him. It is? Axell? What is he doing here?

"Jade?" Beck's voice pulled me away from my thoughts.

"Hm?" I replied. I couldn't help but to glance back at Axell, he was standing in line for a soda stand.

"You're actin-"

"I"m going to get a drink. I'll be right back." I said as I got up and made my way towards Axell. I ignored Beck and hoped he didn't choose to follow me.

I stood behind Axell and coughed to get his attention. He glanced back and looked surprised to see me.

"Its you." He said.

"Hi to you too." I said. He smiled and greeted me properly.

"I see you made new friends." He began as he looked past my shoulder. I looked back and saw Tori, Cat, Robbie, Andre and Beck looking at us. Though when they saw us look at them, they looked away and pretended to not notice us.

"Starting over, eh." He continued. I shook my head.

"No, for once you are not right." I said.

"So I was right before?"

"Unfortunately." I mumbled under my breath. I could see his smile turn into a smirk. I'm not sure why but talking to him makes me feel... I'm not sure what he makes me feel. Maybe its because of his advise or maybe that he can see what I am?

"So my guess is that they came to you? Just like I came for my wife." He began. I nodded.

"This time, if things go bad, don't run. They look like good people."

"..." I wanted to say something but I shut my mouth before any words came out.

"Them being nice bugs you?" He asked uncertain. I looked away and shook my head.

"I don't know. They can just be... too nice."

"Then you try being nice and tell them what your hiding." He told me. I looked back at him.

"I've seen it in movies, plays, everywhere I go, that every time someone says others are being too nice is because they are just hiding something. And they want to piss everyone else off just so they won't have to tell them."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go for it."

"How do you know all this? I mean, you don't even know me but you know so much."

"I told you, my wife had the same look as you. And experience. I've already been through all that pain with my wife."

"Do things get better?"

"Let me ask you something. Do you have a roof over your head?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have food to shove in your mouth everyday?"

"Yes..."

"And you want Better? How much better you asking for here? That guy over there must be you're boyfriend, the way he looks over here every 15 seconds and glares at me, hell I think if looks can kill well I just wouldn't be standing here. He came here, they all did. You're friends. They care. And you seem smart, if they came its because you are special to them. And for you to still wonder if things can get any better than that, well that's pretty dumb."

"You have a home, food and people that love you. Whatever happened, happened and that's in your past. Kid you have life ahead of you. Things will happen, it will get to you. But you have to decide whether it controls you or not." He explained.

He's right. I can't let this control me anymore. I have everything I need so why do I still feel like crap when I wake up?

"...you should be a therapist." I told him. He chuckled softly and ran his hand through his hair.

"Nah. I've been here for about... what 3 days and I'm already working in a bar. And a bartender gets paid a lot." He said winking afterwords.

"I think you best be going before you're boyfriend gets up. He looks like he can put up a fight. But stop by anytime at Marley's Bar if you ever wanna talk."

"Thanks, for everything."

"You're welcome. Now go and just enjoy your life the best you can." He told me. I nodded and waved to him as I headed back.

I tried to avoid Beck's eyes. He kept looking at me in a strange way and then at Axell. When I got there everyone was staring at me and it was hard not to look at any of them.

"Who was that?" Beck asked looking past me. I looked over to Tori.

"Uh.. .um, Cat, Andre, Robbie let's go get ice cream." She ordered as she dragged Cat away. The guys gave me one last glance before leaving.

"He's a friend. A really good friend and I was just surprised to see him so I went to talk to him."

"... you should have told me. I would have gone with you." Beck said. I sat down back in my spot and he joined me.

"I just needed to talk to him. I needed his help."

"You could have talked to me. Maybe I could have helped."

"Beck, I don't want to talk about this." I said firmly.

"Jade what ever it is, you can trust me."

"And have you run away?" I snapped. He sighed and turned away.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered. I held his hand and he looked at me.

"I know...lets just not talk about it,ok?" I whispered back. He shook his head.

"No, I want you to trust me. Whatever you told him, you can tell me. I don't want to be out of the loop again."

"Beck, it was nothing important. I just asked how his child was. Ok?" I lied. He stared at me for a while before putting his hands up in surrender. He is hand on my upper thigh and I tensed up. Even though I know its him... I just don't want anyone touching me. And I think he got the point when he jerked his hand away.

We stayed quiet and just sat together, looking at the waves. I jumped when I heard Cat's laughter as she sat down next to us. Tori and the rest sat down next to her and Tori handed me a Popsicle.

"So.. that guy you talked to, Axell is a really nice guy." Tori said. I almost choked on my ice cream.

"W-what? You meat him?" I asked worried.

"Yeah. In the ice cream line. He was standing with his adorable kid and we just started talking."

"About?" I interrogated her. She shrugged.

"Nothing really. Just how you guys met. He said you two met in a diner a while back ago. And ever since you've been friends." Cat told me. I nodded slowly.

"Why? Is there something you don't want us to know?" Tori questioned.

"No just surprised." I said too quickly which got me concerned looks.

They let it go and said nothing more. They began talking about what we should do next. Occasionally I would join in but I always ended up getting quiet again. Just enjoy my life. I think it's time to get rid of my fears.

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AN- And this it for this chapter :) This is actually the first chapter that took me a while to complete. I usually write my chapters in one day but this one I kept going for like a week! And guess what? I finished all my summer homework because I'm that much of a nerd xD. So no homework (except reading) which means quicker updates. I'm trying to make chapters long to get more details down. So hope you enjoyed it and review (: thank you for all who still follow my story and review. I really do love all who reads and review. You all just make me happy every time I see I have a new review :) Anyways thanks again.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer- Don't own Victorious

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Jade's POV

It's been bothering me for weeks. As we go shopping and viewing the city, they're smiling faces, it bothers me. All I can think about is telling them the truth. Of why I really left, god I hate Axell right now. If I hadn't seen him, I wouldn't have gotten the curiosity of wondering what would happen if I told them. I look at Tori and I feel guilty. What if I do tell them? Tori will freak. They all would. The way they reacted with my abortion is a full example of why I shouldn't tell them. But ok, let's say I do tell them and they are understanding. Then what? At the end of the summer, they will all have to go back. Tori would be scared to be left alone if she knew my deal with James. If they even whispered amongst them selves on how they saw me over the summer, Tori would be dead. He has a way of knowing everything. He loves being able to see me break. And I being so stupid, let him have it.

"Jade?" I jumped when I heard a voice calling me. Cat stood in front of me, holding a can of soda towards me. We decided to have a cook out in the back yard. Beck and Andre we cooking, Tori was setting the table with Robbie and Cat and I were suppose to get the trash bags.

"Are you ok?" She asked. I smiled and nodded.

"I'm fine. Are you?"

"Yeah. It's just you looked kind of sad that's all." She said, giving me a small smile and walking towards Tori. I looked after her. They were all smiling and talking. I don't want to be the one to take that away.

I turned away from them and closed my eyes. That phrase they say, "If life we simple it'd be boring," yeah well I rather have that life. Where nothing bad happens and we all still had our innocence. And our biggest worries would be falling off a bike or accidentally breaking your mothers favorite coffee cup.

"Jade?" Once again I jumped at the sound of my name. I opened my eyes to see Beck starring at me.

"Jesus, people! What is it with everyone scarring me like that." I was half serious and half joking.

"Sorry. You want to eat? Andre finally gave up after burning five and I took over. And knowing my amazing skills-"

"Are we going to eat or am I going to stand here and listen to you brag about your cooking skills?" I asked. He smiled and I began to walk to the table before he caught my hand.

"What is it?" I Asked. He looked down and I sighed.

"Can we do this after wards?" I whispered. He nodded and I put on my smile and took a seat in between Cat and Tori.

It's been the same discussion every day. At first he would try and make it discrete, comparing this beach and Venice Beach by saying Venice beach has more peaceful waves. He tried all different things and as much as I agreed with him, I just couldn't. So I would make no comment and simply walk away. I could always see the disappointment in his eyes. But I can't.

"Ah, I'm going to miss this place!" Tori said with a small sigh at the end.

"Well you could stay here, if you want I mean." I mumbled. They all grew quiet and I mentally tried to sink into my seat.

"Y-yeah. I would but um, school is over there. And my...family..." Tori replied, drifting apart from her sentences. I gave her a weak smile and said nothing more.

We ate in silence except for Cat's stories of her and her brother. After we finished, I volunteered to clean up with Beck.

"What is it with you wanting me to come back? Didn't we both agree that I wasn't going back?" I asked as we cleaned the plates from the table.

"I'm just saying... Jade I have done a lot for you. Please, come back." He pleaded.

"I never said you had to do anything. You did it because you wanted to. I'm not going back." I glared at him.

"At least come and say good-bye. I'm driving down there with them when they leave. I'm getting my things and then I'm coming back. That's all I'm doing. You can do the same! Besides I have my car is over there." Beck argued. I sighed and shook my head.

"No." I said before trying to walk away except Beck grabbed my arm and held me back.

"Why are you so afraid to go back? Tell me, Jade! I'm tired of trying to guess! Just tell me."

"Let go." I whispered before leaving.

I ignored Andre's offer for playing a card game with them and headed upstairs. I heard Tori's light footsteps coming with me. I entered the room

"What?" I snapped. She looked taken back and for a second I thought she was going to turn around to leave but instead she locked the bedroom door.

"This ends today." She said harshly. I glared at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"We're not that stupid, Jade. We all know something is up with you and Beck. All you've been doing lately is fighting with him. Beck talked to Andre about what was going on. And Andre told me. I've been behind you all this time. You can trust me." She explained. I felt my face heat up.

"H-he wants me to go back. I keep saying no. It's not that big of a deal." I told her. She sighed and shook her head.

"It is! Jade, Beck loves you. Don't you love him?" She asked.

"Of course I do!" I exclaimed.

"Then prove it! Go back with us. At least to say good bye." She told me. I bit my lip and looked away. She's right. He's right! I said I needed to get rid of my fears. And screw it all! I'm doing exactly that.

"Just one thing." I asked. She smiled and nodded excitedly.

"A-anything!"

"Don't leave me alone...please. And...don't let anyone know you saw me. Or know where I am." I said. Her smile faded and she gave me a confused face but agreed to it.

"You know, one day you will want to talk. And that day I'll be listening." She spoke quietly. She hugged me before leaving the room.

I was left alone to my tears. Going back. I'm going back for one day. But I don't think I can do it. Its like an anxious feeling in your chest that no matter how many slow and deep breaths you take, its still there.

Maybe I'm over exaggerating? I'm freaking my self out. He's gone, Tori promised not to say anything about me going to anyone else. It will be fine. I'll be with Beck. And Beck will keep me safe.

"Jade?" Beck's voice spoke as he peeked through the door.

"What?" I asked looking away from him. I didn't want him to see the tears beginning to escape.

"What's wrong?" He worried as she sat next to me.

"Nothing. I'm just tired." I half confessed and half lied.

"You're crying."

"I want to go to bed." I whispered. He held my hand. I risked a glance at him and when I did I couldn't look away.

"I love you so much." I told him. I leaned into him and kissed him as tears rode down my face. His lips were so soft and so sweet. The need for air broke us apart.

"I've missed your lips." He smiled. I laughed softly and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Awwww!" We heard a touched voice say. Tori stood in the doorway with her hands held together.

"I ruined the moment again...sorry..." She said before leaving.

"Don't cry." He whipped my tears away. And for a second my life felt like a cliché fairytale movie. I hoped for a happily ever after ending.

"What did you come up here for?" I changed the subject.

"Robbie's mom called. She wants him home from "camp" because his new therapist wants to meet him." He explained. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"When do...when do we leave?" I questioned. I saw a smile spread on his face.

"So-"

"Yeah. Apparently Tori has quite a persuasion that I always end up following. So thank her...not me."

"Well either way, we leave tomorrow. The whole barbeque was our surprise- to- us- we're- leaving party." He admitted. I smiled and hugged him.

"What would have happened if I stayed? You know, if I said I wasn't going and actually meant it."

"I just knew you wouldn't. I had my money set on Tori's word. " He grinned. I rolled my eyes and playfully shoved him.

"I want to get over my fears..." I whispered in his ear. He starred at my confused.

"What fears?" He asked. I looked away and shook my head.

"I'm crazy. But I want to sleep... can you-?" I spoke. He nodded and stood up. He kissed my forehead before leaving. I laid on the couch and let tears stroll down once again. I'm sorry I'm lying to you, Beck. I'm sorry I put you in danger without you knowing, Tori.

After all they've done, all I do is feel bad all the time. I put on a fake smile, I'm sure they know it's not true, and I act as if nothing happened. They asked me so many times if I was ok, they at least deserve the truth. I can't even give them that. They are oblivious to everything. And James...that low life asshole! I hate him! I have never truly felt such hatred for anyone but him! All the pain he made me go through! All the tears I cried! All the people I have hurt! Jessica...I hope she's fine. What if I killed her? Oh god...w-what if I killed her? She would be the second person I killed. Just the thought makes me want to throw up...i think I am sick.

I ran to the bathroom as quick as I could and let the vomit come up my throat. I spit up until my throat burned and I had no energy left.

All that blood that leaked through her skull...what will everyone else say? Her parents must be scared to death... her friends worried sick...and they would all be wondering who her killer was. God! What did I do? I'm so sorry, Jessica! I swear I will never forgive myself if I killed her. I'm so sorry.

"Jade!" A voice woke me up. I sat up quickly with a massive headache and realized I was on the bathroom floor.

"Are you ok?" Cat asked kneeling beside me. I nodded.

"Yeah. I feel better. I'm just tired." I lied. I felt like hell. She helped me up and guided me to the bed.

"Sleep here tonight. I'm sure Tori won't mind. Besides she went out with Andre and Robbie to get junk food for the rode. She made it clear that no one is to speak of you dropping by. Are you planning to surprise someone?" She asked. I nodded and gave her a small smile.

"Never change, Cat."

"Well I don't know who else to be...wait! Yes I do! I'm an actor and as an actor I can do loads of things! Want me to be Tori?" She asked. I laughed at her and shook my head.

"Too bad. Hi, I'm Tori Vega. I'm really nice and-"

"Why are you pretending to be me?" Tori's voice came from the door. Cat waved at her and patted down a seat next to her on the bed.

"Took over your bed for tonight."

"That's ok. But why? Not that I mind or anything."

"I found her dead. Well not dead but like asleep on the bathroom floor."

"Are you ok? Do you want to see a doctor?" Tori asked worried.

"No...I just ate too much." I lied. Seems like that's all I do. Lie.

"Well then why don't you rest up? We hit the road tomorrow. Um, Cat, why don't you help us move things into the car." She said. Cat nodded and they walked out the door together.

I pulled the covers over my head to keep the sunlight out of my eyes. Maybe with luck I will fall asleep. Maybe I could wake up in cold sweat and realize that this is all a nightmare. Yeah that would be the best wish granted. Yet this is too much pain to be a lie.

I don't think i'm ready to go back. I need to tell Beck I'm not ready. No. Stop it, Jade. You said that you were going to get rid of your fears. Well your chance is here, don't let it go. Its now or never...though never sounds pretty good right now. Either way I said I would go. Anxiety has begun again. I can feel it crawling up my chest. And still all I can think about is Jessica. I wonder how she is. If she's fine and healthy or- or if I killed her.

Tears came down my face at the thought of me killing her. My body went ice cold when I thought of her dead body lying in a coffin. I know she was a bitch but...but she didn't deserve to be murdered. Jade! Stop it! I-I didn't kill anyone. I didn't kill her. She's fine, I'm only freaking myself out.

I took in a few breathes before sticking my head out for fresh air. I closed my eyes and prayed for my day to come. The day where I shut my eyes forever and never see the day again. This is all my fault. I caused all of this drama. It would all be better if I were to disappear. And by disappear I mean sticking a thousand pills into my mouth. I can't do that. It wouldn't be fair to Beck or Tori. Or anyone else. Not after all they've done. I need to be strong for Beck now. He's helped me with so much. To do something so selfish like suicide is unfair. Its my easy way out but not his. Or maybe it could be like Romeo and Juliet. When he would follow me to death, I love Beck and I know that he loves me too but if I, for some reason lose my mind, kill myself, I don't want him to join me in death. I would want him living his life and spreading his love with someone who deserves him more than I do. Because every one knows that Beck has done things he shouldn't have, just for me. He's giving up his home in California for me. He has his parents and friends that would miss him. For me it was easy to drop everything and leave, I have no parents. That place was full f bad memories for me but Beck, he has good memories. He has a chance to live out his dreams...and, and I can't let him give that all away. Not for me, no. I want him to live his life. I want him to be happy. If he leaves then his chances of getting recognized are slim. He needs to stop thinking of someone other than himself. As much as it pains me... he can't come back.

I opened my eyes and realized that the sun had gone away. I sat up and yawned.

"Hey there!" Cat greeted while sitting on the couch braiding Tori's hair.

"Where's Beck?" I asked ignoring what ever Tori said.

"He's in his room. Why?" She answered. I shook my head and got up.

I walked across to his room and knocked on his door.

"We need to talk." I said when he opened the door. He stood there shirtless and I realized saying good bye to him would be harder.

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Ok that's it for this chapter. I apologize for the wait! Anyways, hurricane Irene is here. It doesn't hit me until later tonight or early tomorrow. Any who's, to all those in NY, be safe! TO everyone in the east coast like me, take cautions and be prepared! Hope you all are safe, bye.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer- I don't own Victorious

AN- Last chapter up next?

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Jade's POV

"Oh, um... sure." Beck replied grabbing a near by shirt and tossing it over his head. I tried looking away but my eyes were glued onto his perfect body. I bit my lip and felt my hands begin to sweat.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I took in a deep breath and slowly let it out.

When I opened my mouth to speak, I couldn't find the words to say. Everything I came here for was completely out of my mind.

"Jade?" He called my name out. I looked down at the floor. Why aren't I as brave as I thought I was? Why am I so selfish? He needs to be happy and his happiness can't be with me. B-but I... I can't say good-bye to him. Not just yet.

"Is there something you want to say?" He asked quietly.

"Yes... but I can wait." I responded.

"Or you can tell me now. When you burst through the door it looked like what you wanted to say was important."

"It-it was nothing. I just wanted to tell you that... I have to go now." I told him too fast that I didn't even know what I said.

Before he could come out the door, I ran downstairs and headed towards the front door. I quickly grabbed my shoes and the car keys to my car before running away. I heard them begin to call my name but ignored them and got into my car. I drove away, I needed to get away. I drove as fast as I could go out of that area. I didn't know where I was going until I realized that Marley's Bar was only a couple blocks away. And his words came into my mind.

"_Stop by anytime at Marley's Bar if you ever wanna talk." _My legs were shaking and I could feel my hands get sticky from so much sweat. Axell. I need to talk to Axell. He has the answers to all my problems. He has the answers that will make me happy. I need to talk to him, and if possible I need to make a copy of him so I can take him with me.

I arrived at the bar and parked near the entrance. I hesitated to get out of the car. I was going into a bar, a bar has a lot of men. A lot of drunk men. Men that was disgusting. Men that are horny...and I'm a girl. Well maybe if I stay in the car until the bar closes, he'll come out. But what if he's not working? We leave tomorrow morning. I can't wait that long... could I? I need some luck, courage or a magical way to contact him without waiting or going in.

I decided to wait for him to come out instead. But half an hour later, I got too nervous to wait and decided to go in. My legs were shaking so hard I could barely walk in. People might have thought I was a drunk going back into a bar. As I walked through the door, I saw that it was too crowded for me to go in.

"Move!" A voice scared me from behind. I jumped and moved to the side. I searched around the place and tried locating the bar. Only when I found it, I couldn't see Axell. Is he not working tonight? I made my way through the edges as fast as I could until I reached the bar.

"What can-" The bartender began before looking at me fully.

"ID please?" He asked. I shook my head and opened my mouth to speak but words were once again stuck.

"Axell..." I whispered so lowly I didn't know if I said it or not.

"Excuse me?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I-I need to see Axell. He works here." I said a bit louder. The bartender sighed and shook his head.

"Honey, Axell doesn't work here anymore." He replied.

"Well where does he work now?" I asked nervously. No, no, no! I need to see him before I leave. He needs to answer my questions, my concerns. He's my answer.

"Axell... Axell died...wait a minute. Is your name Jade by any chance?" He asked. I froze at the words that came out of his mouth. The bartender pulled my hand and led me around the counter. He took my through a door that said employ's only. Though I could not react to what was happening, I felt overwhelmed and panicked.

"...he died?" I repeated in a shaking voice.

"I'm sorry. It was a bar fight that killed him. He was shot at with a gun... he was in the hospital for a day but the second day, he lost. Their having his funeral on Wednesday. I have the address if you want to come. You are Jade, right?" He explained. I nodded and kept quiet.

"W-what about his wife and kid?" I asked very quietly. He frowned.

"Axell had no family. Well as far from I know, there was this women who he loved but she was married with someone else and she had a kid. Look, Axell was not stable, you know, in the head. He was wise, I'll give him that but he was never anything else." He said. I began to let tears fall and the guy handed me a tissue box. He sat me down on a chair and went over to a desk that was near by before scribbling something down on a piece of paper.

"Here. I think you should go to the funeral. For your good. I know he'll appreciate it." He handed me the paper.

"I have to go but you can stay here as long as you need to. Phones on my desk. Use it to call someone for you." He told me before leaving.

As soon as the door shut, I burst into painful sobs. He lied to me! He never... his wife and kid. They're not real! I've been listening to lies all this time. And now he's... he's not even here anymore. How could he- no! Axell was my last hope. Axell, he was my only chance to escape. But I can't even talk to him. How is this possible? How could he have had so much wisdom but none of it was true?

I sat there, sobbing and thinking, when the door opened.

"There's a Tori Vega here, she's asking for you. Should I bring her in?" The bartender asked. I wiped my tears away and nodded. Jade you need to stay calm. You need to- you need to be strong. I couldn't help but to cry again. It was too much for me. To learn he's dead, to learn his stories were fake, to realize that my comfort came from a man who wasn't even mentally stable.

"Jade!" I heard Tori's voice exclaim, followed by the door shutting.

"What the hell is the ma-" She paused, "Jade..." She said in a softer voice. She came to me and knelled down.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry!" I apologized through tears and I hugged her. She held onto me and smoothed my back.

"What happened?" She whispered.

"You don't deserve this. You don't deserve being lied to." I told her. I've been hiding too many things from them that it has becoming too much. There is just too much guilt that I have. And I can't do it anymore. She needs to know. She needs to know that James is capable of hurting her. She needs to know that I am suppose to be gone forever.

"Jade, tell me." She whispered pulling away.

"I can't. I just can't." I told her.

"For god's sake! Stop it! Stop pushing me away and just tell me already! Have I still not earned your trust?" She yelled as she got up and paced the room. I stopped crying and focused on her.

"I-"

"There you go again. You're always with your "I can't" or "I don't" or some other pathetic excuse!" She screamed. I never thought I would be so afraid of Tori, her anger, everything she wanted to say was coming out. It made me realize that I'm not the only one who's hurting.

"It's just so many things." I began. She stopped pacing and slid onto the floor.

"So start now." She ordered. I nodded, my heart was racing too fast for me to count the beats.

"I ran away for a reason I'm not suppose to say. But I can't do it anymore. James made a threat to me. A threat I can't ignore because it doesn't just effect me. It effects you too." I explained.

"Me too?" She repeated.

"I-I didn't mean for it to get this far. I wanted to go to trial, I wanted to put James away but then I went and did something so stupid."

"Jade, say it. You're making me really nervous." She said.

"Jessica and I got into a fight. I was mad and upset. She followed me to the third floor. She began talking to me about the trial. She said somethings that really got to me. And she hit me. So I hit her back. And- and I wasn't careful! I-I didn't see where we were going. When... when I pushed her she fell back. She fell down the stairs. Tori, there was so much blood leaking. And James... he was coming up the stairs." I explained, trying hard not to start sobbing. I glanced at Tori. Her face was pale and her eyes were wide as she starred at the floor.

"He chased me. He put me up against the lockers and told me that I was dead. He told me that he would use this against me in trial. I was so scared. He- he took advantage of me again. He said that if I drop the charges and leave the state and never come back, then he wouldn't tell anyone. And he'd make sure she stayed quiet too. I told him I agreed. But then he said... I wasn't allowed to tell anyone. If I did, then he would come after you. He would rape and kill you in front of me. Tori, I'm so sorry." I finished.

Tears were going down her face, did she hate me? Was she disgusted by me. She got up and walked towards me. I deserve it, I deserve her slapping me. I when she pulled me out of the chair, I thought she might have hurt me. But instead she hugged me while she cried into my shoulder.

"Please...say something..." I whispered. I felt her shake her head no.

"I understand. I understand why now." She pulled away.

"That's why I can't go back. Please, Tori, don't tell anyone. I beg you."

"I won't. I swear. But what are you going to do now? You told Beck you were going." She spoke.

"That's why I came here. To see the guy that made me have hope, the guy that was my last hope. But... he's dead. Axell died and I never said goodbye." I cried. She held my in her arms again.

"It's ok... It's going to be ok." She reassured me.

"Tell me what to do. Please, tell me what to do." I pleaded. She sat me down on the chair and pulled another chair beside mine.

"You're going. I will make sure no one says something. I'll make something up. When we get there, you will stay in Beck's RV. No one will see you, I swear. You and Beck will come back. And no one but use six will know where you are. Everything will be ok." She explained.

"You had so much to hide, so much to be strong for. But you don't have to be so strong anymore. It's all going to end. I promise." She told me. I nodded as she handed me tissues.

When we stopped crying and got ourselves looking presentable, we walked out of the bar together. I slipped the funeral address into my pocket as we left.

"Tori?" I called her name.

"Yeah?" She answered as we gout out of the bar.

"How did you find me?" I asked.

" I might have, sort of, put a tracking device on your car. It has a GPS. I tracked it down. Look, I knew something was up with you and I knew you might run away again. So I installed it with the help of Andre and Robbie. I could see where you were going when you go here. So I grabbed the car keys and took the mini van. I must say though, Cat, Beck and Andre are probably all worried." She said as we walked to my car.

"And Robbie?" I asked.

"Oh, he was sleeping when we went to check on him. He probably doesn't know anything yet."

"He's always last to know." I said. She laughed and watched as I got into my car. She walked over to the other side of the street and got into her car. I left the parking lot and she followed right behind.

I told her the truth. Now all I need is to tell Beck, he can't come back. Then all will be settled. Tomorrow my journey begins.

When we got home, the lights were out. I glanced at my clock and saw it was almost two in the morning. I must have been in there for more time then I thought. I parked my car and walked into the house with Tori right behind me. I saw the TV was one and on the couch as a small figure sleeping with a bigger figure. Tori, unaware of the two sleeping people, turned on the light. We saw Cat's head laying on Andre's lap, both very asleep. When we shut the door, it made a slight noise that caused them to jump wide awake.

"Jade!" Cat tried to cheer but her voice was so tired. I waved at her as she sat up and Andre stretched.

"Hey. You look so tired. Why don't we get some sleep? We have a long day ahead of us." Tori said. No questions were allowed to be asked because Tori, on her mom mode, ordered all of use to bed. I scanned the house quickly for Beck until Andre told me he had been in his room all night. I nodded and went to bed with Cat and Tori.

"So Andre said we're leaving at 7 in the morning. He says that if we make no stops, in a hotel then we can get there late at night. Maybe 10 or 11." Tori said as we got dressed for bed and brushed dour teeth.

We said our good night's and we went to sleep. Tori said she wanted to play princess of one last time and slept in the tower. Cat took the bed and I took the couch.

Soon after laying down, Cat's soft snores were heard. I, however, could not sleep. It was about half an hour later that I heard quiet sobs coming from the tower. Tori was crying. I wanted to go up there but Cat's a light sleeper. The noise of the door will wake her. I cried silently, knowing that Tori's tears were my fault. She was probably scared to death of James now. Her expression back at the bar was unforgettable. She was terrified.

I don't know when I fell asleep but next thing I knew, Cat was telling me to get up and get ready. I groaned and forced myself to get up. The sun wasn't fully up yet, why should I be up? I put on some jeans and a loose shirt before brushing my hair and teeth. As I walked downstairs, everyone looked at me. Tori's cough got everyone to stop starring at me and get back to what they were doing.

"Hey. Sleep well?" Beck asked as I started helping getting things into the car. I looked at him.

"Tori told us what happened yesterday." He said. I froze.

"What did she say?"

"She said that you're friend died. You got a call and you wanted to tell me that you didn't want to come because of his death. And that's why you left. But that she convinced you to come with us to forget his death for a while." He explained. I let out a breath and nodded.

"Yeah... sorry. I- it was too much for me." I half told the truth.

"You should have told me. You scared me last night. I'm just glad you're coming." He smiled. He hugged me before letting go really fast.

"Sorry." He whispered. I smiled weakly and nodded.

"Alright people, are we ready to go?" Andre announced seeing as everyone was already outside. We all agreed to leave and let Beck drive first. I climbed into the front passenger's seat, Cat, Tori and Andre were in the middle and Robbie was all the way in the back.

"Is it me or do we have more things?" Robbie asked.

"Well Cat bought two other suitcase for her new clothes and Jade has a small bag for her things. So yeah, we have more things." Beck said. Cat giggled and opened her window.

"Let's hit the road!" Tori said.

It was about half two hours into driving when it finally got quiet. We were all too tired to say anything else. When I glanced back, Robbie, Cat and Tori were asleep. Andre was listening to his music with his eyes closed so he was getting ready to sleep as well.

"You wanna switch?" I asked Beck, who was lost in thought. He glanced at me and shook his head.

"I'm good. You should sleep." He said.

"Nah. I've slept too much already. I'm fine. But you look like you need a long beauty sleep."

"Ha. But I'm wide awake." He replied. I laughed softly and rolled my eyes.

"You can be so stubborn sometimes." I joked. It's been a while since I felt comfortable with him like this.

"Look who's talking."  
"Yup, I'm talking."

"Smart ass."  
"You know, technically, you're just calling me a smart donkey. Just saying." I said. He rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Are we they're yet?" Cat's tired voice asked as she began waking up.

"No, go back to sleep." I replied. She shook her head.

"I'm not tired anymore. I feel like I've slept so much. But can we stop? I have to pee." She said.

"Cat, we're in the middle of a highway. I doubt they have any bathrooms here."

"Well... hurry up and drive faster!" She commanded.

"Someone's cranky." Andre's voice said beside her.

"She just woke up and has to pee." I explained. Tori was still asleep, her head rolling onto Andre's shoulder.

They would make a good couple, and I can tell she likes him. But I wonder why she never makes a move.

"Should I drive now?" I asked Beck again. He agreed and pulled over. When I switched seats with him, Cat had started falling asleep again.

"She's really tired."

"Yeah don't blame her. She kept waking up at night because she heard like a soft moaning noise in her room. So she came and woke me up every time she got scared... which was like every 20 minutes." Robbie answered in a tired and annoyed voice.

"She could have woken us up." I replied.

"She said you were sleeping and she was too scared to go up to Tori's tower." Rex said.

We stayed quiet after a while, Robbie fell back asleep too. But that moaning Cat kept hearing, it wasn't a ghost. It must have been Tori's sobs. God knows how long I spent listening to her cry. I felt guiltier every moment that went by. Her suffering, her fear, it all comes back to me. If I had kept my mouth shut, if I hadn't had said anything. Then we'd all be fine. Me and my stupid mouth that never thinks before speaking. Now, her fear will always be with her. I can just see her right now. Walking through the halls, afraid to find James. I wonder what she'll do when she sees him. Will she show him fear? She's a good actress but when no one can pull of that fear. The fear that at any moment, someone will break their promise and kill you.

I focused back on the road and noticed that everyone was quiet. Everyone had fallen asleep.

Around 11, Robbie and I had switched places. He had to wake tori up in order to get through. She of all, must have been so tired. If Cat kept waking up every 20 minutes because of her, then Tori must have not slept at all. I wonder how strong she could me, emotionally. Its funny to think that I use to hate her so much. I use to think she was after Beck but now, only a couple of months brought us together. The world is a very ironic place.

I closed my eyes for what I thought was seconds but turned out to be hours.

"Jade?"

"Shhh, don't wake her."

"She needs to eat too."

"I have to pee!"

"We can bring her back something."

"Ok, I'm going to the bathroom."

"Look she's waking up."

"I can see that, thanks to you!"

"What?"

"I'm walking away now!"

Voices woke me up. I groaned and sat up, letting my eyes adjust to the light.

"What?" I sneered. I was sleeping so peacefully. Why'd they wake me?

"See I told you she'd be cranky." Andre said.

"Sorry. Hey, Jade. We're at a restaurant. Beck and Robbie our getting our seats. And Cat just left to go pee." Tori was the other voice. I sighed and got out of the car. We walked into the restaurant together and I picked a seat in between Beck and Tori, Robbie, Andre and Cat, when she got back, were across from us.

"Who's driving next?" Robbie asked.

"I'll drive!" Cat volunteered as she sat down.

"Um, in second thought, I can keep driving." Robbie said.

"It's fine. I'll drive. I'm so tired of sleeping anyways." Tori said. Cat put on her sad face.

"Aw. Ok but I'm next." She said. Beck was about to say something when the waiter came. We ordered our food and began to talk when my phone began to vibrate.

"Who is it?" Tori whispered. I shrugged my shoulders, it said no caller I.D.

"Not sure. I'll let it go to voice mail. Maybe they'll leave a message or something." I answered. As if my phone was the most amazing thing they've ever seen, everyone stared. After calling me five more times, they finally left a message.

"Check." Robbie said. I put the phone to my ear and called my voice mail. I put in my password and listened to the machine.

"YOU know who this is. I just wanted to say congrats on leaving." I froze and quickly erased the message.

"Who was it?"

"Wrong number." I lied too quickly.

"I-it just... it was a very inappropriate message." I covered up. I felt like I couldn't breath anymore. It felt like I was falling down so fast. What could he possibly want? Why can't James just leave me alone?

"I have to pee." I said as I pushed Tori out of the booth and headed towards the bathroom. I locked the door behind me, it having been a uni-toilet room.

I knew this was a bad idea. He graduated this year, full scholarship and everything. How can the best things happen to someone so terrible? My life is falling apart and I didn't even do anything wrong in the beginning. I didn't do anything wrong. Even I don't believe that. I did everything wrong. I was a terrible person to Tori, who is my biggest helper now. I lied to Beck and went to a party with a guy I only just met. I always fought with Beck for my jealousy issues but when he got jealous, I got mad at him.

"Jade, food's here." Cat's sweet voice came from the other side of the bathroom. I unlocked the door and stepped out.

"You're crying. Why?" She asked placing her hand on my wet cheek.

"Oh, I just put water on my face to wake me up." I lied to her. She believed me, I sometimes thank the fact that she's gullible.

We sat back down and the food was there but suddenly I wasn't so hungry anymore. Suddenly I just wanted to sleep again. Because sleeping gets rid of everything.

I hardly ate anything and Beck kept getting me annoyed because he kept nagging me to eat. I know he meant well but I just wasn't hungry. My mouth said no, my stomach said yes.

After about an hour, Andre said it was time for us to get going again. Tori got the car while Beck paid. We all reminded Cat to go pee before we got in the car. I took the front seat with Tori.

"So who was it really calling you?" Tori asked. Andre, Robbie, Beck and Cat had not yet gotten into the car.

"I told you..."

"Jade." She said seriously.

"Relax, mom. I'm not lying to you." I said. Well maybe I am but it's nothing to worry you about.

"Are we ready?" Andre said as everyone climbed in.

"Let's just get this over with." I mumbled.

And it was off to the road again. I stayed awake this time and so did everyone else. Cat insisted on singing a song so Andre gave a beat while she and Robbie sang. Tori was laughing at the looks they got from passing cars while Beck recorded with his phone. I shook my head and looked out the window. We were crossing a bridge pretty soon and Beck took over seeing as no one wanted to drive over the bridge. Well except Cat but we were all scared she'd drive off the bridge. I never liked going over bridges like this. It always made me think that it would collapse with so much weight.

When we finally got off the bridge, a big sign that read "Welcome to California" was there. Cat cheered and soon everyone was happy. I gave a small smile. And when the car entered the state, I felt like I wanted to die. I remember going through this path, alone and scared. If this is how I feel entering the state, I wonder how I'll feeling entering Los Angeles.

It was dark out and lights began to turn on. Cat finally got a chance to drive and I moved all the way to the back with Robbie. Beck up front and Tori and Andre in the middle.

"Only a couple of hours and we'll be at my house!" Cat said happily. I reminded her we were going to Beck's house first. My heart was pounding so hard that I could hear it run through my ears. My hands were sweating and my entire body was shaking. I've never been so afraid in my life.

Time seems to be against me, especially with Cat driving. We finally entered the familiar place that I use to call home.

We pulled over in Beck house and got our things out. I decided that I could spend the night here in Beck's RV. Tori was staying over too so that I wouldn't have to be so alone. Besides, her parents expected her to be home by tomorrow. Robbie was taking Cat and Andre home. Tomorrow they would come back to say good-bye.

"I'll miss you so much! I wish you didn't have to go." Cat said with tears in her eyes.  
"It won't be the same without you." She told me.

"Cat, I leave tomorrow. Save the good-bye for tomorrow." I told her. She nodded and then they left.

I almost started crying but held it in.

"Let's order pizza." Beck suggested. We agreed and we moved our things inside the RV.

"I call the bed!" I shouted as I threw myself on it. Tori fell on top of me and said she could sleep on top of me.

"I ordered the pizza. Should be here in half an hour." Beck said. We nodded and helped Beck begin to pack his things.

"I can't believe you're really moving." Tori said. Beck smiled and shrugged.

"I want to move. Being here is too depressing." He said. I looked away. How do I tell him he can't come? How do I tell him that before we even came here, I booked a plane ticket back to my new home? "Hey, a car pulled up on the other side of the house." Tori said looking out the window.

"Oh, must be my parents. I'll go tell them I'm back. Be right back." Beck said walking out the door.

"Tori, did you tell everyone not to tell anyone that they saw me?" I asked suddenly remembering.

"Yeah, they asked that you said you were with your aunt so that you won't get taken away." She explained. I sighed.

"Ok... that's better."

"Oh god!" Tori exclaimed, her face pale as a ghost.

"What is it?" I asked. I followed her gaze and out the window I saw three figures, one pointing a gun at the other.

"James..." I whispered. W-what is going on?

I ran out the door and over to them. And suddenly the gun was pointed at me and a knife pointed towards Beck.

"You little bitch! Did you not understand our agreement?" James yelled. My legs were shaking and I was breathing so hard. Is this really happening?

"H-how...?" I stuttered. He smirked.

"I always know. I was just passing by and I saw you standing there with all your little friends." He sneered.

"And do you want to know where I was coming from?" James asked. I let a few tears of fear fall.

"Leave her alone!" Beck shouted.

"I came from Jessica's funeral." Those words killed me. Suddenly I couldn't feel anything. I did kill her.

"She was in a coma, we finally pulled the plug yesterday. You should have seen her parents. Crying for their only daughter, that you killed." James explained.

"What are they talking about, Jade?" I heard Beck ask.

"Oh so you didn't tell them. Well lets tell him now." James said.

But just then, police sirens were heard approaching us.

"It's over James. You lose." Tori's voice said. Everyone froze at the sound of her voice. James glared at her with such hatred that I was afraid for her.

"I don't lose." He said. And in less then three seconds it all hit rock bottom.

A gunshot was heard. A scream was heard. And I felt no pain. I froze for a second, waiting for me to fall but when I didn't. I realize what had happened. I looked at Tori, her body was on the ground.

"Oh shit! James, what did you do?" Adam screamed. I focused back on James and he was about to pull the trigger when Beck tackled him to the ground. Adam was near tears and the police were getting closer.

"Leave him! We have to go." Adam shouted. He began running away towards the car and dropped the knife. James pushed Beck off him and got up before running after Adam. Adam was already out the driveway. James turned back and shot another fire. But this time, I felt the warm liquid going down my body.

This isn't ending like this. No... not yet.

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AN- Ok, so up next, final chapter?

Too much drama in one chapter... I don't know how I feel about that. Tell me what you think of this chapter, please? I really hope you all enjoyed it. Review... for my sanity (:

PS- sorry for my mistakes. i just quickly scanned.


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer- So tired of saying this but I don't own Victorious

AN- Sorry! I know, "IT'S BEEN A MONTH! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" Ha. But I just couldn't figure out who to kill. So I just decided to kill... (:

Read? And review for my sanity? Last Chapter, about damn time too. Yes, I was very excited to read my own work (conceited moment of the day.)

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. Jade's POV

The shot was so loud, I could feel the rush of air pass me by as I fell back and on to the floor. I laid motionless for a couple of seconds and waited for the pain to come. But it didn't. I looked around. No one was around me. I turned my head and saw his eyes starring right at me. His big brown eyes, starred at me. They were losing it's color. I sat up and saw police cars racing by, sirens blasting through the air. Two ambulances parked in front, paramedics rushing towards us. Nosy neighbors peeked out their windows, gasping and taking out their phones to spread the news. Two teenagers shot dead, one alive. A firm looking lady pulled me away from him. I did not realize I had been over his body, silently sobbing. His blood was plastered on the side of my face. Drops of blood trickled down. The lady kept asking me questions but I could not hear her. Her mouth would move but no words came out. I watched as they took Tori and Beck away. None had body covers on them, maybe they will be fine. Everything was going so fast, one minute their was two bodies on the ground and the next, they are being rushed to the emergency room. And I'm still standing here in shock. I brushed my hand past my face. Blood stained my hand. Beck's blood. The lady offered me a wet towel. I didn't take it. She sighed and began whipping the blood off my face. I looked around, more police were showing up and taking pictures of the scene. They lady placed the towel in a plastic bag and walked away. I looked around, I needed to leave. All policemen were busy, reporters were just arriving at the scene, unloading and beginning to harass police. The lady that had helped me was talking to another policeman, she was handing him the bag. No body was watching. I took that moment to calm walk away in the opposite direction. Once I heard them shouting my name, I ran as fast as I could into the backyard of a strange house. I jumped fences until I was caught by one of the owner of the houses. She said she would call police if I didn't leave. So she kicked me to the front yard and watched as I ran away. Where was I? I had no idea. I caught a glance of the street name, Glennton.

Eventually I made enough turns to get onto a main street that lead to a shopping center. And then I knew where I was. I wasn't that far from where I knew I was going. I stood under a tree for a while trying to slow my heart beat. It was pounding so hard I could hear it through my ears. This will never end. I'm done running away. I know what I have to do.

I removed my shirt and threw it on the ground, leaving myself with a tank top. I walked into the gas station and searched through my pocket. My wallet was with me and I felt so thankful I had money on me. I bought a 10 gallon gas tank and filled it up and a box of matches. The cashier stared at me as if he was unsure whether he should sell me the things or call the police. It probably didn't help when he saw a bit of dry blood on the side of my face. I glared at him as he put the things in a bag and I handed him the money. He hesitated when giving me back the money but I snatched it out of his hands and calmly left his shop. I headed north and was sure to stay in the shadows.

The road was narrow and barley any cars were passing by. I wished I had my phone with me. But I left it in the RV. I walked as fast as I could to the house.

The journey there was too long, by the time I was half way there, my legs were about to give out. Luckily I was already entering the wood area. I climbed over the fence that separated the woods from the sidewalk and walked towards the trees. I leaned against it for a moment and tried to catch my breath. I slid down and rested my head on the tree. How could I be so stupid? Coming here was a mistake. I ended lives today. I've killed more than two people. Were they even able to save Beck? Or did he die in agony, wishing he never met me? I said I love him but since when do you kill you're loved ones? But the worse part is that I couldn't cry. I just felt so angry. I wanted revenge, I needed revenge. He destroyed me but it seems that it isn't enough. But no more, this ends tonight. This ends once in for all. One of us has to die and I swear it won't be me. He is stronger than me. I know. He is smarter than me. I know. And he has a better chance of winning. I know. But I have more power than him. I have more confidence than him. I have what he doesn't have. A plan. A plan that will not fail this time. A plan that I've been thinking of the whole trip here. A plan that I am sure will not fail me. A plan that will kill him.

I waited for a couple of minutes or hours, I couldn't tell. Then I continued my way. I walked for hours until I was back. Until I saw that house that destroyed my life. The house where he took me too. I was back in the familiar woods. The woods where I screamed to the top of my lungs but no one would hear. The woods where he took my innocence away. It was like I could hear the loud music playing again, the smell of weed mixed with alcohol and the loud chatter of people laughing and dancing. It disgusted me. When I focused back, everything was quiet. The lights were out but the one thing that made me feel better was the black car in the opened garage. He was here, I knew he would be here. Like I said, James is smart. He knew how to get away from the cops. He lost them and ran here. Like a coward, he hides. I waited for a couple of minutes to make sure that they were all asleep and that all lights were turned off for good.

I made my way through the shadows to the back of the house and turned off all electricity through the power box. I turned off the water and went into the garage. I had no idea what part of the house I would enter but I was quiet enough to not make a sound. I tried opening the door but it was locked. I mentally cursed and began searching for a pair of emergency keys. I looked under the mat and found it empty. I looked all over the garage but still could not find any keys. So far my plan was not going to well. I wanted to talk to him before killing him. I wanted to-

"Dude, relax! Nothing will happen." I heard to voices coming from inside. My hands began to sweat and my heart was racing.

"Don't turn on the lights, they might see if they are watching us."

"For the last time, Adam. They will not find us! Look, no one even knows about this place. Just get your damn cell phone and lets go back to sleep."

"James, you killed two people! And rap-"  
"Listen you son-of-a-bitch, don't you go turning your back on me. I can easily kill you in your sleep. Well I won't hurt you because you're my best friend. Which is why you will keep your mouth shut. If I recall, you were there too. You were the one with a weapon too. You're an accessory. They'll lock you up even if you say you didn't kill them. So it doesn't matter. If I go down, you're going down with me."

I heard James voice. I could practically see the way Adam was trembling. Footstep were growing closer and close to the door and I ran out of the garage. And pressed myself to the side of the house.

"Dude, go around back. The lights are out!" Adam said. I heard James say something but his voice faded out. I quietly and slowly walked to the back and heard the back door open. I peeked around the corner and saw James holding a flashlight to the power box. He called out to Adam and asked him to check the lights but Adam said he was still looking for his phone in the car. James groaned and walked back into the house to check. The door was wide opened and I saw the light come on.

"Turn it off!" I heard Adam shout as he closed the garage door close. Followed by the back door closing as well.

I waited for a while, the gasoline tightly in my hold and my arms with goosebumps. I was nervous. Very nervous. But I was more angry than ever. I wasn't leaving until my plan was complete.

I began to go back to the garage and try to go through that door once more. Adam is the more careless one. I tried turning the nob as quietly as I could and it was opened. I sighed in relief. I carefully squeezed through the small crack I made and shut the door behind me. I was in the kitchen apparently. I walked out of the kitchen and walked into the living room. The memories came back.

I was with James on the couch, having a sip of beer while everyone smoked and danced. The stereo at all volume and the lights flickering on and off. Jessica was next to me, half glaring at me and half flirting with James. She was jealous, if she wanted him, she could have had him. He's a disgusting pig.

I sat on the couch and tried to calm down. It was like I couldn't stop myself from doing what I was going to do. I tried to feel bad, I tried to talk myself out of it but I couldn't. It was too late to turn back. I was already here and already began pouring the gasoline in all the door ways and window, leaving a trail where ever I walked. I walked up the stairs quietly and began opening the doors. There were four doors. One, I recognized to be the bathroom.

"_Hey, James. Where's the bathroom?" I asked. I walked up the stairs and bumped into Jessica. She had just left the bathroom and pushed by me. I assumed it was the alcohol that had her acting like a bitch._

The crowded hall was now empty and dark. I opened the door on the left. Empty. I pour gasoline on the door and opened the next door. As quiet as possible I slipped in. It was Adam. He was sweating in his sleep. I smirked and walked right out. He isn't the one I wanted though. But he needed to be dead. He knew everything but stayed quiet. As quiet as possible, I walked to his side. His back was facing me and he was asleep. But he wasn't the one I wanted. I lead a trace of gasoline to his bed and walked away.

Lastly, I reached the door I wanted. James. Just as I was going to open his door, his light came on. I back away and walked into the empty guest room. I heard his footsteps enter the bathroom and I used that time to slip into his room. My heart was racing. This is it.

I poured the last of the gasoline all over his room. The window, so he wouldn't be able to jump out, his bed so it would catch on fire and he'd be pinned to the wall. I heard the toilet flush, followed by the sink. Then finally, his footsteps coming into the door. He shut the door and didn't even notice me. He was half asleep. He was about to turn out the lights when I gave a cough. He jumped. And I smirked. My heart was pounding and my hands were sweating.

"J-Jade?" He was in shock.

"Hello, James." I said. He looked confused and scared at the same time.

"Wha-"

"Shut up. It's my turn to talk." I sneered. He sat on his bed but stood back up when he felt it wet. He smelled it and his eyes were wide open.

"N-no." He begged, and was that tears begging to form?

"You destroyed me. You rapped me. Y-you killed me!" I yelled.

"No. I'm sorry. Please..." He begged. Now he begs for forgiveness. He knelt down and begged me.

"Get up!" I yelled. Suddenly I blanked out. Everything he said, I could not hear. Instead the memories of how I begged and pleaded him to stop hurting me came back. And his evil grin and his smug look came back as he was on top of me. He has won too many things and he will not win this time.

"What about when I asked you to stop? Did you? Did you stop? NO! You kept on going. You ripped me apart. You took advantage of me and you left me bloody, broken and bruised on the ground. You took what you wanted and left me there. As if I were a piece of garbage." I said. Tears were now coming down my face. My body was shaking.

"Jade. I was stupid, I know. I just- you're right. I do deserve to be punished. But not like this. Please! I'll call the cops. I'll turn myself in! I'll do anything." He begged. I couldn't believe he was crying.

I nodded. And walked towards him. His body was shaking and I could see him sweating with fear.

"You're right. You do need to be punished. But I can't do this. I can't watch as you burn." I said. I walked out the door and shut it behind me. I heard him cry in relief. I said I couldn't watch him burn, not that I wasn't going to do it. I lit a match and dropped it on his door way. I ran as fast as I could away from the door.

"NO!" I heard him yelling. I went downstairs, and lit another match. I lit the trail I made and watched as it quickly caught on fire. I walked out the front door and lit the door as well. There was no escaping.

I heard his screams as I back away from the fire. It was funny, see it always has to end where is started. If it doesn't, then it isn't the end just yet.

And that's when it happened. I began to panic. What have I done? I was screaming with him, in terror and in shock. I couldn't breathe. It was like the air was taken away from me. Oh God. Oh god. W-what have I done? My body was shaking so much that I fell to the ground. I was hyperventilating and was so scared.

After a while I didn't heard his screams. It was all quiet, and a bit foggy because of the smoke. I watched as it burned, the flames tearing apart everything. I laid on the ground looking up at the stars terrified.

"Had your fun?" A deep voice said. I sat up and looked around. Adam.

"You think I didn't hear you and James talking? I heard it. I smelled the gasoline and I knew what you were going to do. So I left the house. Stupid girl, you just killed my best friend." He said.

I opened my mouth to say something but I could not say anything. I got up, my legs shaking and saw what he held in his hands. It glistened in the moonlight, silver and sharp. I looked around, the flames were still high and no one was around for miles. I survived this long and I am not about to die. I let out a small scream as I ran in the opposite direction. I glanced back to see him following me. But I ran and ran, through the woods. The leaves making cracking noises as I passed by. My breath was uneven and my legs were surely to give out. But I kept running. I made twists and turns and when I looked back he wasn't there. But I kept running down the hills and eventually ran all the way down to the lake that I never got to see. The lake I was promised to see way back in spring. The lake I foolishly came down to see. The water was shinning, small waves moved along as a gentle breeze hit the water. I looked around for any sudden movement. And then I saw him, he was looking around for me. I hid behind a tree and watched as he walked in the wrong direction. I stayed as still as possible.

For minutes it was completely silent, until I heard the end. Police sirens, fire fighters and ambulances were all at the house. I could see their lights. And I knew I wouldn't be rescued unless they saw me. I took one glance in each direction, checking if Adam was around. When I didn't see him, I took off running up the hill. I ran as fast as I could. My salvation was so close.

"Going somewhere?" Adam's taunting voice came out of no where.

I felt was my body collapsing on the floor and let out a loud scream. His filthy hands on my neck, taking the breath out of me. I kicked as my hands were searching the ground for something to use. But all I could feel were leaves and sticks. I used a stick and poked him in his eye. He cringed of the pain and fell back. I gasped for air as I tried to get up. I saw flashlights pointing in our direction. As I was about to shout for help, I felt a deep pain in my stomach. I fell back, my eyes roaming around. Adam's body on top of me as he repeatedly took the knife in and out of my body.

I only saw when his body was pushed aside by a bullet. The knife planted inside of me. I was spitting out blood and couldn't tell how many times I was stabbed. My body was shaking and I could not feel a thing anymore.

I heard distant voices and flashlights pointing at me. A policeman said something to me before smiling and yelling orders. Was he telling me I would be fine? Or when I died I would go to heaven?

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My eyes fluttered opened. There was nothing but a small beeping noise. I looked around and saw Andre sitting by my side. His head leaned back against a chair and his hands loosely holding mine.

"A-Andre." I called his name in a weak voice. My voice startled him but he was wide awake. He smiled at me and leaned closer to me.

"W-why are you here?" I asked.

"Because you need someone here. I've taken turns with Cat and Robbie. We were afraid you'd never wake up. Hang on, I have to call the doc." He said. I reached his hand when he tried calling for the doctor.

"What is going on?" I asked. The memories of what happened last night were still vivid in my head.

"Where's Beck and Tori?" I questioned though I was afraid of the answer. Andre sighed and sat down again.

"It's all going to be ok. You need to relax. Beck and Tori are fine. The bullet went straight into Tori's shoulder. And the other bullet only scraped Beck's head. They will be fine. They're just worried about you. We all were. No of use knew what condition you were in because the doctors refused to tell us. And you're dad said he didn't want us knowing until he got here. An-"

"Dad? My dad is here?"

"Well Jade, we needed an adult. Tori's parents weren't legally responsible for you. So they flew you're dad out here. We just wanted to know what was going to happen with you. But we had no answers. So when you're dad got here, we finally knew. Adam had tried to kill you in a fire but ended up killing James. And he chased you into the woods with a knife and stabbed you 10 times. Or at least that's what he said."

"He?" I replied. My heart speed went up.

"Yeah, Adam confessed. Police shot him twice and after his surgery he confessed in doing everything. He's headed for 10 years of jail." Andre said adding a small smile in the end.

I knew he meant it to be happy news but it wasn't. It was the worst news I had ever gotten. 10 years was not enough. 10 years means that in 10 years he would come out and finish what he started.

"Andre. No, h-he. Andre this is all wrong. He will come after me in 10 years. I need to get as far away as possible." I told him. He frowned.

"What?"

"I need you to do something for me. Please, Andre. I need you as a friend right now. Prove to me that you were the most loyal friend I ever had." I begged him.

I knew what I had to do. In that moment, I could not feel anymore sadness. I had asked a lot of him. But he nodded and called in my father. I told my father what I wanted to do, he said it was understandable and I had his consent. He went out and began to file out the reports, calling in doctors and searching up people that could help. Andre stepped back into the room as my father walked out.

"You mourn the loss of a friend. I mourn the loss of 5. All my friends and my true love."

"Do you even know what this will do to us?" He asked. I looked down.

"I'm doing this because I know he will come out and begin to search. I am doing this because I am going to live with that fear forever and I don't want you all to see me like that. I am doing this so you can learn to start over."

"And Beck?" Andre asked.

"Beck... Tell him my last words were, I love him." I cried. He walked further into the room and shut the door behind him.

"You know, you're just running away again. How can you be so selfish? Jade, I don't know if I can do this."

"Andre! You promised. I can't face it. You're right, ok? I am running away. I am selfish but I want to do this." I said. My decision was already taken action. My death would be today at 3 o'clock.

"I will be loyal, don't worry. I just wish you wouldn't push Beck away. This will break him even more." Andre spoke. He came over to me and hugged me one last time.

"Good-bye, Jade West." He said as he walked out the door. His tear drop laid on my hand.

Good-bye, Jade West.

Xxx 10 years later Xxx

"Angie, darling, are those designs ready?" A blond hair, tall and thin woman said as she walked in black pumps, cell phone in one hand and coffee in the other. Her pale skin almost as white as the snow.

"Oh, yeah. Here you go." The petite brunet handed her the designs for the next coming up fashion show. The blond mumbled a thank you when Angie called her.

"Hey, Sam, did you here that there is a huge protest going on in California?" Angie said. Sam paused and turned around.

"What are you talking about? A protest, about what? " Sam asked.

"Well about 10 years ago a teenager was put away after killing two other teenagers. He was sentenced to ten years in prison but tomorrow he is being released. Former friends of the victim Jade West started the protest and gained many supporters so that Adam wouldn't be released." Angie explained. Sam tensed up and walked over to the newspaper that Angie was reading from.

"It;s the biggest protest ever, I mean the ones who started it are all famous. Beck Oliver, Tori Vega and Cat Valentine are all actors and singers ever known. Andre Harris has his own music company, the best in the country and then Robbie Shapiro the ventriloquist and actor. Wow that girl would have been lucky, but she had to die. Poor her." Angie said before putting the newspaper down. Sam felt an overwhelming guilt.

"Hey, Angie. Cancel my meetings and take the rest of the day off. They're something I need to do." Sam said before going down to the lobby. She ordered her driver and was taken home to her house. New York was quite a sight, she loved it there. Winter was coming up again and she loved to wake up Christmas morning and see a white Christmas. After her funeral, her father had her replaced in New York and they gave her a new new. Sam Cornwelsh. She never sung another song nor acted in any plays. She studied fashion and one of New York's best designer. Her assistant, Angie, became her best friend. But she didn't know her true past.

Sam reached in her pocket and took out her phone. She scrolled down the number and pressed it to her ear.

"Hello?" The familiar voice soothed her.

"Hey, so I read..." She began. Tears coming down her face, what she wouldn't do to hug them. But it was too late. Beck had already had a girlfriend. Tori had married Andre and Cat had married off to Robbie.

"Yeah, Beck was the one that started it all. Actually we're heading to you're tombstone pretty soon. Beck's girlfriend wants to get married to him. Can you believe it?" Andre said. Sam smiled, knowing he could tell.

"Yeah well at least they can be happy right." She said.

"Beck said no. He told her that he loved her but that in his mind he was already married." Andre said. Tori's voice was in the background.

"To who?" She asked.

"To Jade West. To you." Andre replied. Sam sighed.

"I'm not her, Andre. You know that."  
"It doesn't matter how many times you say it. You are Jade West. And to me, you always will be. Give me that to hang on to." Andre told her.

"Hey, who are you talking to?" Tori asked through the other line.

"Sam, my designer in New York." Andre told her. Tori said a quick hello to her and she pulled out er New York accent.

"I have to go. Bye, Andre." Sam said as her driver opened the door for her. She took in a moment and looked at her house.

"I'm home." She whispered as she walked away.

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AN- Happy Halloween. Trick you (: I didn't kill them. Your treat? The ending. Thank you for all those who read, followed and love this story. I really hope you love this story or like it. I am so nervous for you to read. Ok so, I will post up another chapter. But it's just thanks to all who review because I am that thankful. It will have nothing to do with the story. Just me mentioning you all and going on and on about how much I love you all. So yeah. Thanks again. Bye.


	32. NOT A REAL CHAPTER

AN- Thanks to the following. No this is not a chapter sorry.

But let's get to the main reason I am here, to thank you all. But before that happens I need to say something, I have talked to myself and after a long debate, I have come to the conclusion, there will be no sequel. I'll make a new story, completely different from this one but sadly, no sequal... ok so thanking time (: vvv

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poetichusitce13

LadyBug442

Love-Believer-16

Shaydefur

ItBeatsForYouXx

romeondjuliet4-ever

AchinglyBeautiful

gymnstgrl7231

Mll Estabrook (Merci)

ohlookitzKutie

KC

Serina Tsuki

Riotstarter1214

SQTgirl

Nat

DramaCat

FeeonaMustache

666LuvJayC

GemLeigh

AvidReaderAshley

RoflCake237

TrustInYou

Lily Jess

Kyrawrr

lil monster

OMGitzMollie

JustLittleOleMe

Ilikethat

kikudog6

mikaela

lydia

Ashley

Ella Lea

SeySey4352

franfranfrancesca

Reagan Geoffrion

samcheese1

smileydog89

BadeFTWShipper

MayRaah

Ace5492

Yanine

Rosalie Carlsile Cullen

msjei09

LizGilliesFanForever

VictoriousBade16

SquigglyWorms47

Someone

Gah, ok so yeah. I'm happy (: I finished my first mulit-chapter story. I always start but never finish. Sad. If I missed you, so sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. It was a long list and I might have thought I already put you're name down but didn't or you might be a new reviewer who reviewed after this chapter was published.. And if I said it twice then oh, sorry. I'm bored. And this is pointless. Sorry for wasting you're time. If you're still reading than... awesome! I can get people's attention. ha. Ok bye. Thanks again to all. I love you.


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